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Gay Christians?

My religious ex boyfriend told me that he struggled to choose between God and I.

We were together for eight months and it was all sweet, but towards the end his commitment seemed to falter off... Ignore the fact that we're gay, the relationship between us was perfectly fine: we respected each other, we gave each other room to do our own stuffs, we finished each other sentences (literally in sync,) we even had future plans.. That said, everything seemed like nothing once he realized that he's a Christian and should not be gay.

I feel like asking some questions: does every Christian believe in everything that's been written in the bible? If that's not true, how do one choose what to follow and what not to?

Forgive me if I posted in the wrong section, or if you feel offended. :s-smilie:

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Reply 1
I've never met a gay who decided they can't be any more.
People choose to believe or not in things based on one thing: what it ****ing suits them.

Your ex is not even the worst example. You can have people who claim to be perfectly fine with sexuality, even say god is also fine with it, but when faced with a real life decision always back out. I'm really sorry you've gone through this, it sounds awful. It's so heart-breaking that a genuinely good relationship that people so badly search for, and may never find, can be thrown away by someone who doesn't appreciate what they have. Most people in that situation would surely choose to keep their relationship and work around Christianity, as many gay Christians attest to; again, because it suits them.

Clearly some very strong scarring, persuasion, brain-washing or whatever you want to call it took place with your ex in order for the identity to be irreconcilable linked to a tight interpretation of the Bible, or even a wrong interpretation spread by so many people. They've made their choice. There's nothing you can do but have the dignity to not beg them to stay. Just walk away. You shouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't value you.
If one doesn't believe in everything written in the Bible, then that person is a "cherry picking" Christian. Pure and simple.
Original post by Anonymous
My religious ex boyfriend told me that he struggled to choose between God and I.

We were together for eight months and it was all sweet, but towards the end his commitment seemed to falter off... Ignore the fact that we're gay, the relationship between us was perfectly fine: we respected each other, we gave each other room to do our own stuffs, we finished each other sentences (literally in sync,) we even had future plans.. That said, everything seemed like nothing once he realized that he's a Christian and should not be gay.

I feel like asking some questions: does every Christian believe in everything that's been written in the bible? If that's not true, how do one choose what to follow and what not to?

Forgive me if I posted in the wrong section, or if you feel offended. :s-smilie:


There's nothing here that is offensive, so no need for the apology my friend. The simple answer is no. Not every christian believes in everything that's in the bible. There's a huge amounts of different sects, cults, orthodoxies, reforms, and so basically there's a different type of christian for every day of the month, probably more e.g. Pentecostal, Catholic, Greek Orthodox, CofE, Baptists, Evangelists, etc. etc. and everyone believes different stuff about how literally the bible should be taken. Some think it's all fact and true, others disagree entirely with certain things, and only take the stuff relevant to them, and then there are those in between. I'd say that many take what suits them. Alot of christians are fine with homosexuality, but then there are many who aren't and that's a shame. People do just pick and choose what seems important to them, though the more forward thinking christians are very liberal, and don't really take much stock by it at all, they literally just take the gospels and even then not as truth. I fall into this category, I believe in Jesus and God and the message of unconditional love and I reckon the 10 commandments are fairly decent, but ultimately the rest of it is all written by some dudes way after the apparent events, and the various other rules are mainly bulls*** so I ignore pretty much all of them.
Original post by QueenOfSheba
If one doesn't believe in everything written in the Bible, then that person is a "cherry picking" Christian. Pure and simple.


The Bible contradicts itself, so if what you say is true, every Christian is either a cherry-picking Christian or some sort of lunatic who can believe two contradictory statements at the same time. Or both.
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
The Bible contradicts itself, so if what you say is true, every Christian is either a cherry-picking Christian or some sort of lunatic who can believe two contradictory statements at the same time. Or both.


Lmao, I know. Most Christians cherry pick, even the "lunatics"who claim they don't.
Original post by Anonymous
My religious ex boyfriend told me that he struggled to choose between God and I.

We were together for eight months and it was all sweet, but towards the end his commitment seemed to falter off... Ignore the fact that we're gay, the relationship between us was perfectly fine: we respected each other, we gave each other room to do our own stuffs, we finished each other sentences (literally in sync,) we even had future plans.. That said, everything seemed like nothing once he realized that he's a Christian and should not be gay.

I feel like asking some questions: does every Christian believe in everything that's been written in the bible? If that's not true, how do one choose what to follow and what not to?

Forgive me if I posted in the wrong section, or if you feel offended. :s-smilie:


What do you mean by "he realised that he's a Christian"? Did he suddenly convert or something? Or was he a lapsed Christian who decide to start practising again?

Not every Christian believes everything that's been written in the Bible :nah: I'm a "cherry-picking" Catholic and I choose what to believe in/adhere to or not by thinking about it a lot, praying about it, and seeing how it compares with my own morals and values. Ultimately I cannot follow something which I do not believe in or which I cannot make some kinda sense out of :biggrin:

That's just me though. Your ex may have been a different type of Christian or had family pressure to conform, etc. :frown:
Reply 8
I don't think every christian blindly follows the bible. That being said, I have a friend who comes from a very religious family - her father is a priest - and she has openly come out as bi to her friends. She has no issue with this - she believes god made her that way etc, but she has said that she would/could never come out as bi to her parents/family because they have a lot less liberal views concerning gay/bi people.
Reply 9
Original post by Flying Cookie
People choose to believe or not in things based on one thing: what it ****ing suits them.

Your ex is not even the worst example. You can have people who claim to be perfectly fine with sexuality, even say god is also fine with it, but when faced with a real life decision always back out. I'm really sorry you've gone through this, it sounds awful. It's so heart-breaking that a genuinely good relationship that people so badly search for, and may never find, can be thrown away by someone who doesn't appreciate what they have. Most people in that situation would surely choose to keep their relationship and work around Christianity, as many gay Christians attest to; again, because it suits them.

Clearly some very strong scarring, persuasion, brain-washing or whatever you want to call it took place with your ex in order for the identity to be irreconcilable linked to a tight interpretation of the Bible, or even a wrong interpretation spread by so many people. They've made their choice. There's nothing you can do but have the dignity to not beg them to stay. Just walk away. You shouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't value you.


Thank you so much! I did talked to him a few times after that, and in the end he even got angry at it. He asked me to delete messages or photos we had, and to shut the **** up. So here am I, walked away with dignity haha :smile:
Original post by Jacob Boris
There's nothing here that is offensive, so no need for the apology my friend. The simple answer is no. Not every christian believes in everything that's in the bible. There's a huge amounts of different sects, cults, orthodoxies, reforms, and so basically there's a different type of christian for every day of the month, probably more e.g. Pentecostal, Catholic, Greek Orthodox, CofE, Baptists, Evangelists, etc. etc. and everyone believes different stuff about how literally the bible should be taken. Some think it's all fact and true, others disagree entirely with certain things, and only take the stuff relevant to them, and then there are those in between. I'd say that many take what suits them. Alot of christians are fine with homosexuality, but then there are many who aren't and that's a shame. People do just pick and choose what seems important to them, though the more forward thinking christians are very liberal, and don't really take much stock by it at all, they literally just take the gospels and even then not as truth. I fall into this category, I believe in Jesus and God and the message of unconditional love and I reckon the 10 commandments are fairly decent, but ultimately the rest of it is all written by some dudes way after the apparent events, and the various other rules are mainly bulls*** so I ignore pretty much all of them.


Thanks a lot mate!
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
What do you mean by "he realised that he's a Christian"? Did he suddenly convert or something? Or was he a lapsed Christian who decide to start practising again?

Not every Christian believes everything that's been written in the Bible :nah: I'm a "cherry-picking" Catholic and I choose what to believe in/adhere to or not by thinking about it a lot, praying about it, and seeing how it compares with my own morals and values. Ultimately I cannot follow something which I do not believe in or which I cannot make some kinda sense out of :biggrin:

That's just me though. Your ex may have been a different type of Christian or had family pressure to conform, etc. :frown:


He's brought up in a religious family, with his parents being some sort of elders in his church. He is a Christians all along, going to church, reading bible before sleep and stuffs. The fact that he believes that the earth is just 6000-7000 years old because bible said so still amazes me, considering he is the top student in his grade. Btw he's the only son..
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you so much! I did talked to him a few times after that, and in the end he even got angry at it. He asked me to delete messages or photos we had, and to shut the **** up. So here am I, walked away with dignity haha :smile:


Wow, he got nasty! Good riddance, well done :h:
Any gay who is ashamed of their sexuality is one to avoid. It is incredibly difficult to enlighten those blinded by oppressive religion/other factors that there is nothing wrong with being homosexual, or bisexual or whatever.

My advice is to try and move past people who are trapped like this because it's most likely going to end up in tears for you. Until you find someone who accepts themself, it is only then that you can have a happy relationship! :smile:

Sorry to hear this has happened to you.
Reply 14
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
The Bible contradicts itself, so if what you say is true, every Christian is either a cherry-picking Christian or some sort of lunatic who can believe two contradictory statements at the same time. Or both.


A lot of Christians are this, actually.
Many maintain that Jesus was both fully a God and also fully mortal.
Original post by Anonymous
He's brought up in a religious family, with his parents being some sort of elders in his church. He is a Christians all along, going to church, reading bible before sleep and stuffs. The fact that he believes that the earth is just 6000-7000 years old because bible said so still amazes me, considering he is the top student in his grade. Btw he's the only son..


The bit I've put in bold explains everything, for me at least. I imagine there would have been some parental involvement in his decision to cut you off.

Best thing you can do is to wish him well and move on with your life and find someone who's right for you :h:
Original post by QueenOfSheba
If one doesn't believe in everything written in the Bible, then that person is a "cherry picking" Christian. Pure and simple.


In that case, cherry picking is a good thing.

If one doesn't believe in everything written by the Conservative party, then that person is a "cherry picking" Tory.

If one doesn't believe in everything written in the New England Journal of Medicine, then that person is a "cherry picking" doctor.

If one doesn't believe in everything written in the past, then that person is a "cherry picking" historian.

I wouldn't trust anyone who doesn't "cherry pick"!
Original post by Anonymous
I feel like asking some questions: does every Christian believe in everything that's been written in the bible?


No. I don't.

If that's not true, how do one choose what to follow and what not to?


Based on what seems morally right, based on what historical evidence supports, and based on faith (when there isn't enough evidence).

Sorry for your situation OP. Chriatians in the past and sadly today have treated gay people abominably.
I'm not a Christian, I follow another religion, but just to say, you cannot be born gay or bi, that dosent really make sense , but I don't feel really sorry for you, he realised his MISTAKE and chose his religion over you, he did not do anything wrong, and quite frankly I think you should chose your religion aswell, I hope I did not offend you


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Original post by Lifeislong
I'm not a Christian, I follow another religion, but just to say, you cannot be born gay or bi, that dosent really make sense , but I don't feel really sorry for you, he realised his MISTAKE and chose his religion over you, he did not do anything wrong, and quite frankly I think you should chose your religion aswell, I hope I did not offend you


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Religion over love?
I thought religion was supposed to be love-centred.

Anybody who thinks sexuality is a choice is just blatantly ignorant; it is illogical to believe that a person would choose to follow a disliked lifestyle just because they 'chose' to do so. Those feelings are internally imprinted in our makeup, it is uncontrollable and damaging if we try to repress it.

Would be a lot nicer if people could learn to accept each other and understand that our sexuality is something we are incapable of changing; it is part of our existence and shouldn't be treated any differently.

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