Being told to smile or "cheer up luv" on the street by men

Ever attempted to make a pterodactyl screech at guys who do that? Lemme know how that goes

A man actually commented on that video with the perfect response. So instead of wasting my time arguing with people who are too basic to recognize gender inequality I'll just paste that comment here:

"First of all, I just need to make an observation:

I knew you were a ****boy when you put harassment in air quotes. Twice. So I knew what was your intentions with this video: to reinforce the patriarchy and legitimize harassment against women. Which is a mountain compared to the hill of harassment and street calling that moderately attractive men - like you and I - have to endure.

I literally do not know how you are contributing to the conversation. This is the same type of rhetoric for men who act that there is an agenda against males, who harp about "male equality", "reverse" racism, etc. And I put these in quotations marks because these deserve the quotations mark. These are feeble methodologies based on bruised egos and nothing else. Harassment against women gets women killed. You got some little girls and some gay men (which is for a whole other post, ugh) calling you out. But no one is going to snatch you up from the street and rape you. It happens, yes. But again, you are a man and it's not common place.

This video is so contrived, I can't even."

That's it! Have a nice day, and try not to harass any women while you're out and about. Thanks!

A man actually commented on that video with the perfect response. So instead of wasting my time arguing with people who are too basic to recognize gender inequality I'll just paste that comment here:

"First of all, I just need to make an observation:

I knew you were a ****boy when you put harassment in air quotes. Twice. So I knew what was your intentions with this video: to reinforce the patriarchy and legitimize harassment against women. Which is a mountain compared to the hill of harassment and street calling that moderately attractive men - like you and I - have to endure.

I literally do not know how you are contributing to the conversation. This is the same type of rhetoric for men who act that there is an agenda against males, who harp about "male equality", "reverse" racism, etc. And I put these in quotations marks because these deserve the quotations mark. These are feeble methodologies based on bruised egos and nothing else. Harassment against women gets women killed. You got some little girls and some gay men (which is for a whole other post, ugh) calling you out. But no one is going to snatch you up from the street and rape you. It happens, yes. But again, you are a man and it's not common place.

This video is so contrived, I can't even."

That's it! Have a nice day, and try not to harass any women while you're out and about. Thanks!

No it isn't. It's patronising, condescending and - in most cases (as evidenced here) - misogynistic.

an old woman told me to cheer up earlier when I went to buy food because I walked out of asda with some proper tasty stuff and yet I was still grouchy against nothing but when it was made obvious that somebody older and wiser cared and didn't want me to drift through life on a grey cloud it made me smile like but ah well guess I should report her for harassment

Are you familiar with the concept of context?

Are you? Because it seems to me like everybody's equating an expression of care to something rude and explicit said only by derogatory builders.

Anyone else really fed up with being constantly told to cheer up or to smile by complete strangers? It always seems to be scummy old men or chavs who feel like they can say this

I used to find it funny and awkward but it's happening most times I go out now. It's especially annoying because I'm actually really happy. Are we just meant to be walking along the street grinning all the time?

Have any guys had this happen to them? Is it only men that say this or has a woman said something similar to you?

Completely depends on the context, and when it comes to strangers 99% of the time it is not appreciated, and often comes off as very creepy, sleazy and depending on the environment can be scary.

The difference is when men say things like those being discussed to women, it's not out of genuine care, it's condescending, rude, and sexist.
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Surely that is a generalisation in itself, some men may be being lurid, some may just see someone frowning (or they they perceive to be frowning) and are literally saying "cheer up love". They should still probably mind their own business, but the intent may not be sexist, as if they saw a guy who they perceived to be moping around they may well say "oi cheer up mate".

Lol the only comments I've ever had is old ladies saying I have nice eyes and, amusing considering what we're talking about, comments from men who have mistaken me for a women from behind (not that tall, have a pony tail).

I'm glad you, a guy, understands, as many tend to make comments such as "it's just a compliment lighten up" "just being friendly" "I'd be glad to get that kind of attention" etc etc. Did you see the link someone posted to a youtube video?

I've not heard of men saying such things to other men. I believe it comes from the expectation of women to never seem serious/look tough/anything but beautiful and feminine.
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The difference is when men say things like those being discussed to women, it's not out of genuine care, it's condescending, rude, and sexist.
No one ever said it was explicit. Not sure why I bother trying to explain this to you though, as you clearly refuse to believe that women actually have anything to complain about/are treated differently.

You should look at this pretty cool project that a woman started in the US which is really taking off now - it's called Stop Telling Women to Smile. It's just sketches of women pasted up in public places with the things they've had said to them, which all women have probably had at one point or another.

I ignored him at the time but my favourite retrospective retort was "if I did that, I wouldn't be able to do this:" and then I would stick both jacks up and blow raspberries at him as I cruised by. Of course that's not an appropriate response but I do feel your frustrations, females.

I used to work in a supermarket and loads of old men would tell me to cheer up and it used to make my blood boil. I was dying to say 'would you be so damn cheery if you had been sat on a checkout beeping away for nine hours?!'

No one ever said it was explicit. Not sure why I bother trying to explain this to you though, as you clearly refuse to believe that women actually have anything to complain about/are treated differently.

Thats why multinationals employ more foreigners. Go to Lidl or whatever and the polish women always smile and are really nice and happy. Customer service is important. British people tend to think they're above certain jobs and moan about it. The work ethic in Britain is appalling and if immigrants didn't come into this country in their droves our economy would collapse and ironically it'd be the lazy Brits who'd be the first ones moaning that they're welfare laden backsides are no longer being provided for. British people are generally terrible at customer service and I'd rather a smiling foreigner who couldn't utter a word of English than a moody British person sat there like the world just took a giant **** on them.

that's sexist mate.


I've gave no indication of that belief don't be so aggressive. I don't get how you're not being sexist though, if a man says it to a girl it's bad, but if an old woman says it to a lad it's absolutely fine? It comes down to the intention of the person involved, are they righteously trying to instil good vibes or are they being pervert? And what you're doing is assuming all men that say it are perverts.

EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT. Wow, much discovery. Such logic. If you think thats justification for sitting there with a face on you like someone just **** in your kettle before pouring you a cup of tea, then it aint mate.