Open Relationships - Would you have one?

So my boyfriend of two years asked me earlier what my thoughts on open relationships are, I told him I wouldn't want one now he's trying to convince me to have one, he thinks it will add more excitement to our realationship. :s-smilie:

What are your views on open relationships? If your partner asked you for one would you agree to it? I'm very confused right now and not sure what to do.

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Reply 1

Stefano93

Original post by BunnyMisery246

What are your views on open relationships? If your partner asked you for one would you agree to it? I'm very confused right now and not sure what to do.

Two years, yet not an open relationship? :lolwut:

Reply 2

BunnyMisery246

Original post by Stefano93

Two years, yet not an open relationship? :lolwut:

I don't understand?

Reply 3

Stefano93

Original post by BunnyMisery246

I don't understand?

Are you still with your boyfriend?

Yes I am

If I was in this situation I would see this as the end of my relationship. Anyone that is wanting to be with you will want you and just you. I can't get my head around the open relationship thing. No no no, I couldn't think of anything worse. If someone I was with asked me this, I would end the relationship. Protectiveness is attractive to me, and to some extent even jealousy, I would like to know they want me all to themselves and not share me, and I would like to know the same in return. Honestly, I feel bad for you, because it seems your boyfriend is looking for an excuse to see other people without the guilt. But, if you agree to it, that's your choice and no one can judge that also.

Reply 6

queen-bee

Hell no,I do not like to share if I really like a guy and I would expect him to feel the same

Reply 7

emski

Original post by BunnyMisery246

What are your views on open relationships? If your partner asked you for one would you agree to it? I'm very confused right now and not sure what to do.

Two years of a closed relationship is it? I could understand an open one at the start but after two years and then asking for an open relationship is worrying. It seems like he is missing something (and don't say other people) try and talk to him about it and voice your concerns I would be mortified if that was me in your situation

Reply 8

BunnyMisery246

Original post by emski

Yeah we started off exclusive, only recently has he started asking to open our relationship up. I'm worried that he's not satisfied with me but he said he still loves me but thinks we should have some fun since we're still young, but I really don't want too but at the same time i'm worried if I say no i'll lose him.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 9

gemmam

They're not something I'd be interested in personally and if my boyfriend suggested one I'd say no.

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Reply 10

emski

Original post by BunnyMisery246

Yeah we starter off exclusive, only recently has he started asking to open our relationship up. I'm worried that he's not satisfied with me but he said he still loves me but thinks we should have some fun since we're still young, but I really don't want too but at the same time i'm worried if I say no i'll lose him.

Yeah that is worrying you need to have a long and proper conversation with him about it and good luck :frown:

Reply 11

Wheezy

Sounds like maybe a break would be a better idea? He wants you in the future but not at the minute? He wants to have some fun while he's young, but wants to know you'll be there when he wants to settle down? I'd say a break would be a better solution, will save the jealousy and hurt - to an extent. Still, not something I would support but it would be the best of a bad situation

Reply 12

BunnyMisery246

I don't want him being with other people, and i'm not staying single and waiting for him to come back when he's decided he wants to settle down either. It's really depressing me because i'm satisfied with him and have no interest in any form of open relationship or bringing others in to our love life, it actually makes no sense to me why someone would want this? Is it a guy thing or something?

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 13

Reue

Oh man, that would be living the dream :moon:

Reply 14

BunnyMisery246

Original post by Reue

Oh man, that would be living the dream :moon:

Typical male response. :rolleyes:

Reply 15

superwolf

I'm in an open relationship and it's fantastic. However I suspect your boyfriend is a bit of an arse. :sadnod:

Open relationships take a lot of work, understanding and mutual agreement. They're not something to enter into just because you're bored! I think you're quite right to be wary of his intentions, and I'd think carefully about what's important to you, and to him. Could be your interests are no longer compatible.

If you have any questions about being in an open relationship then go ahead. :smile:

Reply 16

Eveiebaby

I was really in love with someone when I was 25 and he wanted to open the relationship up. I felt so scared that I was going to lose him that I agreed even though it ate me up inside to the point that I had to leave him. He knew that I didn't want it and I have no idea why he didn't put me out of my misery because this went on for way longer than it should have done.. I guess he wanted to have his cake and eat it. Problem is, when you become so accommodating that you disrespect yourself, people lose respect for you and treat you like a ****y doormat.

You need to assert boundaries now, or he will run amok and ruin you. Know that!

Please don't do the same thing as I did, particularly as it's clear it's something that you don't want.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 17

BunnyMisery246

How does it work for you superwolf? Did you start off in one or did it become open? How do you both deal with jealously issues?

Reply 18

BunnyMisery246

Original post by Eveiebaby

Thanks for this that has really helped me, I think i'm going to have a serious word with him over the weekend, let him know where I stand because I know for a fact it's not something I want, not now not ever.