worried my weight will put guys off

Personally I look at overall proportions. Stomach in relation to breasts for example. For me it's whether it's mostly in the right places.

Actually a better mode of appraisal when you think about it. Skinny model types might get a huge belly with skinny legs and small breasts were they to eat more. But you wouldn't know.

Reply 27

Octohedral

16

I know exactly what you look like (as you have a similar height / weight to me, though possibly a different body shape).

It's classed as 'high end of normal' by BMI, but I would personally like to lose another stone, and could easily afford to. I sometimes catch guys looking at me (if I dress right, which I usually don't), but I don't exactly have hordes of admirers, so I would say aim for 10-11 stone, and lift some weights, and you should look great. Your height is a good asset, believe it or not. :smile:

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 28

chumaniward

8

Original post by dhr90

You sound fine to me.

Look how you want and do what you want because you want to, not because someone else wants to.

Besides, have you ever hugged one of those size 6/8 stick thin girls? Its like hugging a slightly warmer lamp post that has arms...

"skinny shaming" to boost the confidence of the overweight is not the way to go about achieving success

you may liken hugging a size 6/8 to a lamp post without any one batting an eyelid, but if in the next breath you were to suggest that hugging a size 18 was similar to embracing a hippopotamus, reactions would significantly differ. why the double standards?

Reply 29

dhr90

Original post by chumaniward

"skinny shaming" to boost the confidence of the overweight is not the way to go about achieving success

you may liken hugging a size 6/8 to a lamp post without any one batting an eyelid, but if in the next breath you were to suggest that hugging a size 18 was similar to embracing a hippopotamus, reactions would significantly differ. why the double standards?

I wouldn't say that though.

Reply 30

Original post by chumaniward

"skinny shaming" to boost the confidence of the overweight is not the way to go about achieving success

you may liken hugging a size 6/8 to a lamp post without any one batting an eyelid, but if in the next breath you were to suggest that hugging a size 18 was similar to embracing a hippopotamus, reactions would significantly differ. why the double standards?

And when 90% of the media engages in "skinny shaming", as it does in promoting slenderness, that will be an issue.

Personally I'm in favour of letting the cards fall where they will.

Reply 31

Original post by dhr90

I wouldn't say that though.

Exactly. Why are you happy to criticise one end of the spectrum but not the other?

Reply 32

Original post by green.tea

And when 90% of the media engages in "skinny shaming", as it does in promoting slenderness, that will be an issue.

Personally I'm in favour of letting the cards fall where they will.

Because we as individuals are only affected by the media and not other members of society. Popular opinions held by our peers mean nothing to us at all.

Reply 33

Original post by Texx

Because we as individuals are only affected by the media and not other members of society. Popular opinions held by our peers mean nothing to us at all.

Look how tastes have changed . What's your explanation?

Reply 34

Original post by green.tea

Look how tastes have changed . What's your explanation?

How have tastes changed? What evidence do you have to suggest that modern men actually seek thinner women than previous generations did?

Reply 35

FeelingDepressed

17

To the OP,

I used to be insecure like this, but then I asked myself would I not date a guy because he didn't have defined pecs, bulging biceps and a six pack? No of course not, if anything u may be intimidated and put off,so don't think the average guy is only attracted to a model like physique.

Your weight is perfect for your height x

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 36

Original post by Texx

How have tastes changed? What evidence do you have to suggest that modern men actually seek thinner women than previous generations did?

General consensus. Try Googling "Marilyn Monroe fat" and look at the information gained through life experience that people express. As I said, the media promotes a particular idea of ideal body image.

People find larger women attractive but because of the media driven attitudes are often cowed into going along with consensus. Actually a nice selection tool.

You can't seriously tell me that "popular opinions driven by peers" aren't almost totally driven by media? Did some random mutation occur in all of us simultaneously to make us all less racist than our grandparents?

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 37

Zarek

21

So, clearly from this thread there are quite some ignoramuses who will be very offensive about women who are not waif like models. But in reality there are men who find heavier women femine and attractive. This said being very over weight is clearly not an asset for women, or men, in the dating game. OP from what you describe I'd say you're fine and I would have a bit of self confidence and go about your business.

Reply 38

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-308825/Mick-Jagger-laid-bare.html

Here's what confidence does to you,

Mick Jagger is the best of the best of the best of lovers bar none."

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Reply 39