Found out 2 of my Uni Flatmates are 'Friends With Benefits' - Upset about it?

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I've been in halls with my flatmates now since September and have been loving Uni life.

However, a few days ago my male flatmate told me he has been 'friends with benefits' with one of the female flatmates for a few months.

I don't know why but it's really upset me and put me on a downer and I don't really know why. I thought we were all like brothers & sisters here but now this has happened and I feel like it's disturbed the group dynamics.

We have already confirmed/paid deposits for a house next year and now I'm starting to think I should find different flatmates.

But I just don't understand why it's made me so upset...

Am I jealous?

Am I just upset because it's effected the group dynamics?

Or what?

I feel like I've not really been trusted either because 2 of my other flatmates already knew and I was never told despite being super-close to them.

Just massively confused and don't know what to do right now.

From my experience and what you have posted here, it sounded like they didn't tell anyone -- and I bet that they were reluctant to tell the others at first -- because in all honesty having a relationship with a flatmate in such a forced situation ends in disaster the vast majority of the time. I have seen it myself and it is really not worth the hassle, especially if you have a decent dynamic in the house anyway, as you claim you do.

For what it's worth, no matter what happens the next year will go as quickly as the blink of an eye and before you know it you will either be out the other end with the people in question still having sex together or you and the other poor flatmates having to be there picking up the pieces, pretending to take the sides of both of the people in question.

The best thing I ever did last year (my second year) was to live at home. The drama between flatmates who have pretty much been forced upon each other (as well as other uni politics in general) can get absolutely exhausting.

Good luck, and go and chat to them about it.

Reply 21

AspiringMedic8

Original post by Anonymous

I understand the reason you feel hurt is not because of the sex, but because you were kept in the dark while others knew. Maybe they were just waiting on the right time to tell you?

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Reply 22

Lúcio

Original post by Tom_Ford

Is she hot? Bet she's easy peasy, sounds like a whore. Jimmy G would close that deal in seconds.

She's a 5 who thinks she's a 9.
Jimmy's bar isn't that low - we all know he goes for 8 or higher :wink:

Reply 23

Dalek1099

Original post by Lúcio

The difference is that those people have built on the foundation of a relationship.
They choose when the time is right to take that step.
In this situation they have no choice, regardless of whether they're ready or not.

Two of my current flatmates made this mistake, I'm telling you now it's not pretty.
They didn't listen to me, they weren't ready and ultimately they paid the price.
Unfortunately this means that everybody else in the house has to suffer too.

Absolutely ridiculous have you seen New Girl?Everyone else in the house doesn't suffer as its not really any of their business.

Reply 24

Lúcio

Original post by Dalek1099

Absolutely ridiculous have you seen New Girl?Everyone else in the house doesn't suffer as its not really any of their business.

Are you seriously basing your argument on a fictional TV show?

You think my personal experiences are less accurate than a television programme?
My word...

Found out 2 of my Uni Flatmates are 'Friends With Benefits' - Upset about it?

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