Have I used someone.....

wait he's 19 and you're 16

...so he's been hitting on you since you were 11-12?

wow bless

Lol yeah.... shame I didn't like him back

NGL I was thinking, you know he'snice so I should I try toget to know him more and see if I develop feelings


But then he does thisso yeah..

at the end of the day..
how would you feel if you liked a guy for 4-5 years and they gave you mixed signals?

now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying this to make you feel bad or have a go at you or what not, I just know this situation all to well.

although my experience was much shorter, only 8 months - I talked to a guy on and off for that amount of time, he was really nice and said he loved me blah blah so I also thought, like you, 'yeah he's nice so maybe I should try to get to know him' you know, give him a chance. so I did and we got on quite well but we drifted as he was sick of waiting for me to develop feelings (although he previously said he doesn't mind) and now I think he hates my guts.

lmao so yeah. god knows how your guy feels if he's had feelings for you for 4-5 YEARS which you've never once returned, only giving him mixed signals. and in such case even meeting up with him can be taken the wrong way, trust me.

tl:dr
he's just sick of your ****

I never made him mixed signals... all throughout the five years I told him no painly NO,I even said to him after three years... he's been three years and I keep saying no STOP
I have NEVER said I liked him back,always said no.
Then only recently he said he'll offer a job, then he asked me to kiss him, I said no again
I was only recently after that that I thought ( for the first time EVER) 'if maybe we got closer we could end up... because he has been there for four/five years' BUT I didn't even act on these thoughts or act like this towards him? I was thinking it,i twas just a THOUGHT but I acted as normal towards him,spoke back when he spoke to me.... It was just a thought at the time I didn't/wasn't ready to act on it...
Then I went to his shop and then everyhting kicked off from there

But I NEVER gave him mixed signals always always told him: NO

hmmm I met up with him a few times ended with him wanting to kiss me... I always said no​ though sometimes I lied I said I couldn't make it.


I can argee with that though,meeting up can be taken the wrong way

so now, what's your mindset? do you still want to get to know him, or are you back at your original stance?

if he keeps being nasty to you, calling you a golddigger and whatnot, and generally being a pain then I'd just recommend for you to stop talking to him altogether. just block him off social media, delete his number and MOVE ON.

I don't see why you've put yourself through this for so many years. You're still young as well, so don't worry, I'm sure a better guy will come your way.

I don't see how what you just said explains that me keeping track of long I've liked him is using him..

I meant everyone else as in friends, but I don't see how that has to do with anything

Okay I see what you meant now.

All I had to gain from him was money

Other than money there's nothing else he could have gave me...

Firstly? Self-Delusion?

But i'm not arrogant at all, If I was I would have really kissed him when I know I didn't want to.

I really wasn't trying to use him, I was trying to do the opposite but everyone around me said no

The place was an awkward place to ask someone out ( imo ) it was the Library... I didn't say or think that makes him a bad person?

My mindset now

Feeling bad that I even took his offer of a job and that he feels used and that I listened to everyone else and after this no, not really it wouldn't happennow anyway he's gone totally horrible

And idk why either

Oh well

Look I don't expect you to understand or "see how" just like that. I can answer your questions but I'm not gonna try to explain it a third time. You're sixteen after all so it's okay to admit you haven't learnt all of life's lessons.

It is laughable to say "All I had to gain from him was money". If you don't know what self-delusion means you can look it up very easily. Likewise with arrogance. Your arrogant traits are boasting about how much this guy has liked you for and how easily you could lead him on. It may be true that you weren't trying to use him or play games but that doesn't change the fact of whether you did.

Again, trying to make him look bad is not the same as saying he's a bad person. It is how you are trying to make it seem you are better than him when you are not.

I don't know what's worse, this whole story or the fact that he asked you out when you were 11 and he was 16.

You could always try to have a proper conversation with him, try to talk things out somehow?

Not necessarily as a means of getting together, but just to sort things out so that if you do eventually part ways, it won't be on bad terms.

It is how you are trying to make it seem you are better than him when you are not.

That is all I had to gain from him? (1)What else could I gained from him/want from him? I didn't want his offer of a relationship, he didn't offer anything else than a job. He didn't offer anything else,I don't see what else I can get from him other than job/money or free food.

I'm not ' boasting ' about it though? How am I boasting about it, i'm not thinking 'oh yes look at me, i'm so wanted,this guy wants me and I can just swindle him like that because i'm so hot' if I was thinking like I that I would have actually swindled him, lmao no, I meant I could have kissed him and just went out with him when I didn't want to but I didn't do that to him because I didn't want to use him...

You said I was using him because I kept track of the time of how long he likes me, I asked how,you replied with because i'm posting this on the internet that's why I said I don't see how you saying because i'm posting this on the internet explains that me keeping track of how long I liked him is using him????(2)

And dude i'm not making him look bad or making him look like a horrible person???(3)

I don't think i'm better than him because he asked me out in a awkward place

These situations are always tricky. They're tricky because we're tempted to find an easy, obvious answer, when in reality it's your fault and also his fault.

It's his fault for allowing himself to pursue you despite you rejecting him.

It's your fault for keeping in touch with him, and attempting to solidify your interaction with him while working there, because you could tell he wanted more and you knew fully you weren't going to give it.

Both those things joined together to form an unpleasant situation for both of you. Next time, don't attempt to continue an unequal friendship.

It's okay, you've still got time to figure stuff out. Look over this and reflect on your actions and see how next time you can adjust them more in line with your intentions. I have underlined where you keep saying "I didn't want to" and "I'm not thinking..." so that you can hopefully see why you don't understand everything yet. I'm sure you will eventually, like I said no-one expects you to have learnt all of life's lessons especially in your youth.

Look back at my posts, I never once talked about your intentions or thoughts or internal reasons for what you did. Just the facts as any objective person (which I fall into btw since I will never know you nor do I particularly care what you do next) would see, and for future notice that's the only way the courts see things (if there was ever to be a problem down the line).

I'll keep these answers to your questions short:
1) money is everything to other people. They will fight you til the death to get back what they thought was theirs. That's my advice, never say "all I had to gain from someone was their money".

2) you think about this guy, you remember details about his life coinciding with yours. Therefore he means something to you. I'm not saying he means a lot to you, just that he is on your mind which is enough for this discussion. I didn't say that was the reason you were using him, I said join the dots between 4 things you said in your OP and they lead to that conclusion.

3) I think you did make him out to look bad. Not saying you meant to just that all you have said about this person leans towards the negative. You could have said "he's a really nice guy that's why I wouldn't mind working for him however I don't have feelings towards him" but you went down a different route "he's so difficult to me, he keeps trying to hit on me but I have told him time and time again I don't want him". You tell me which sounds better.

5) You try to make this person look bad but it only speaks volumes about you.

5) You try to make this person look bad but it only speaks volumes about you.

If you did say "no" each time then I don't think you lead him on.
However, knowing he liked you you probably shouldn't have carried on asking for a job, purely to avoid this kind of situation.
But at the same time he should have accepted the first "no" and moved on.
So overall you didn't act terribly, just the way you would expect a 16 year old to.

Meh ignore him. Generally you remember when youve met people and significant events in the time youve known them. Hence you remember him asking you out within an hour of meeting you and loads of times after.