Without sounding to dubious I took something that contains a substance that I'm not allowed to discuss here. I won't name the substance so that my post doesn't get removed, although it would help if I could name the substance so that someone can give me a better answer.
It all started off well, I saw some good lean muscle gains without gaining any fat. My BF was dropping very rapidly and my strength was increasing rapidly. I was almost done taking the substance that I was taking, however typically things went down hill very quickly.
I started getting terrible headaches, very low libido, nose bleeds, aggressive outbursts and of course the final straw; shrinkage of my balls. At this point I ended my cycle there and then. I got straight onto another substance which is supposed to help me recover my levels and keep my gains. I've been on this substance for as long as my cycle was and I'm still having the following problems:
- I still can't get hard, well sometimes I can but it takes a lot, it use to be a case of anything would set me off.
- I'm extremely depressed and anxious all the time. I also still get random outbursts of uncontrollable anger. Although I was suffering from mild depression and anxiety to begin with, they've just gone to an extreme level.
- Another mental problem that I've noticed is that I'm constantly paranoid and always feel like everyone's plotting something against me, I never use to be this type of person. I even get so paranoid that I have pretty intense delusions.
I fear the damage caused to me is irreversible, I'm most concerned about my sex drive, I'm not going to be on HRT therapy for the rest of my life, not a chance, I'd rather die.
I'm not overly concerned about the mental issues I'm facing as they don't seem as big of a concern as my sex drive.
You can call me stupid all you like but it won't change the past. I regret my actions but it's a bit late to try and undo everything now.
Thanks in advance for any help.