Constantly not in the mood...

Can anyone give any advice on how to love yourself, your body and actually enjoy sex? Can't relax at all when I'm around people I like and Haven't been into it for a year and losing sleep over it :frown:

Reply 1

superwolf

You still enjoy porn/sexual fantasies of any description? Do you have things that you *would* enjoy, only you're scared to act them out? On any medication?

Reply 2

username1278869

Stress is the number one cause! It may not be apparent but work load and stuff are contributing factors.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by superwolf

You still enjoy porn/sexual fantasies of any description? Do you have things that you *would* enjoy, only you're scared to act them out? On any medication?

I rarely watch porn as much as I used to. And yeah I guess I would say I do, I have also had about half of my good sexual experiences whilst drunk and still struggle to relax and lose my inhibitions. My body will crave it and I will want it but I struggle to actually live out my desires

I also have quite low self esteem due to putting on around 10lbs or more since I had a tough time at uni last year < It's something I feel quite disappointed about as I used to be addicted to keeping fit.

The issues all correlate and I don't know where I can go from here, apart from re-start the gym and actively abstain until I find someone who I can relax around

(Female btw)

Original post by Tolaaa

Stress is the number one cause! It may not be apparent but work load and stuff are contributing factors.

My course is pretty tough yeah! I struggle to balance working out, trying to be social and getting good grades :frown:

Reply 4

superwolf

Original post by Anonymous

Hmm, can you give me a broad description of the sort of stuff you think you'd enjoy (I'd say PM me about it, but that sounds more than a little creepy :erm:

)? Like lesbian, BDSM, getting covered in ostrich eggs... (not even joking about that last one!)

Do you think that with potential partners it's that you're attracted to them so there's pressure, or that you're simply not attracted to them enough? Or is it definitely the not feeling comfortable thing?

With learning to feel more comfortable about yourself/others, I wholeheartedly recommend lots and lots of nudity! No sex, no foreplay, just sitting round with other people/a person, have a chat, play cards, whatever. It's seriously a real confidence-booster, once you realise that your body's not perfect, theirs isn't perfect, but everybody has apprecitably good bits. :sexface:

Also: pole dancing! Lots of fun, lots of sexiness, lots of sweaty exercise!

Reply 5

username1278869

Original post by Anonymous

My course is pretty tough yeah! I struggle to balance working out, trying to be social and getting good grades :frown:

This happened to me last year! I got on top of my work load and did a little a day then i became less stressed and started to enjoy it again. It takes time though