Do I email universities informing them of my fathers death?

My dad died suddenly in December and it has affected my whole life, emotionally, financially and even friendships. It's always on my mind and has caused me to get considerably lower grades than my expected A*AB on my mock exams. I have also missed school since his death, so I'm quite behind.

While I don't want to use this issue as an excuse, it has happened, and I've heard of people without cause ask for lower offers anyway. I just don't know if morally it would be alright to inform the universities. I think it's what my dad would do...

If they offered me a lower offerI could go to a closer and better university (like Manchester or Sheffield) than the one where I have an unconditional (East Anglia).

Please post your opinions, but if anyone is angry or offended that I have considered this please be respectful.

Reply 1

286001

Why would anyone be angry?? I think its what you call an extenuated circumstance so the university would change some conditions for you. I don't see any problem with changing the Uni or asking for a lower offer. Its not your fault your dad passed away, and its clearly had such an effect on you that it will lower your chances if getting a place, a place that you deserve. You're clearly already very smart for having an offer at A*AB. Its not like you're cheating the system. I'm sure the universities will understand.

I'm very sorry for your loss and I know how you feel. I too experienced my dad passing away about 1.5 years ago. If you ever need someone to speak to you could always DM me :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 2

cheshiremum

I'm really sorry for your loss. There is never a good time to lose a parent, but some times are worse than others. And nobody is going to be angry.

I assume your school know about it? Because they should be telling your exam boards about it so they can give you 'consideration' when they mark your real exams. Could you ask your head of year about the University offers? Unfortunately, things like this will have happened before, and your school might have some experience of it, and be able to offer advice, or perhaps let the university admissions tutors know on your behalf.

Good luck at catching up with the work you've missed, but do remember that if you still can't cope with your A2 exams, you could repeat the year and take your exams next year. It isn't a lot of time really, a year.

Reply 3

Muttley79

I'd get the school to write as it carries more weight from them.

Hope you manage to get through this OP. :console:

Reply 4

aasdfghjkl

Original post by 286001

Posted from TSR Mobile

Thank you very much, and just I mentioned it to a couple of my friends and they thought I was 'using' it (they didn't say exactly that - they explained it in a sensible way), they just were not comfortable with it.

And I'm sorry for your loss too, thank you for offering your support!

Reply 5

aasdfghjkl

Original post by cheshiremum

Yeah my school know about it, but they just haven't really mentioned anything in terms of exams, they have only really mentioned my attendance and offered external support. And yeah, I'll speak to my head about all of this first, since I don't really know what to write!

And yeah, I've considered an extra year, but I would like to still try as hard as I can this year so I can have the new experiences of uni sooner.

Reply 6

286001

Original post by aasdfghjkl

No problem :smile:

Also, your friends don't seem very supportive. They may be just saying that as they think you have an advantage for getting into uni. Some people would rather work against you, than with you. Silly people.

Reply 7

cheshiremum

Original post by aasdfghjkl

As well as asking about the Uni offers, ask your head of year specifically about the school informing the exam board, just in case they need 'evidence' from your GP about how it has affected you emotionally, and so impacted on your ability to engage fully with your studies.

Sounds as though you've given some thought to your options, which is great. I hope you have some good friends you can talk to, to help you cope. If the school's external support is free, do think about it! Good luck with everything.

Reply 8

aasdfghjkl

Original post by 286001

No problem :smile:

Well they have been extremely supportive about the whole situation, don't get me wrong, but this was a topic that made them particularly uncomfortable, I think because 3/4 were applying to dentistry/medicine and they haven't actually got any offers they were kind of bitter that I actually had offers to start with, haha.