contacting an ex
Hi,
So I am 25 and when I was 17 I had a 2 year relationship. At the time I thought he was the love of my life. Things ended badly and he broke it off over the phone one night and I never really heard from him again. The night before that he told me that he loved me.
Even years later I sometimes have dreams about him. I think I never really got closure from it. I think the whole thing has also given me issues that have stuck with me.
I still have his sister on fb and sometimes.pictures of her baby come up on newsfeed. I wonder how he is sometimes just out of curiosity as its as if he just vanished.
I was thinking about sending him a message but also quite worried. Does this seem like a bad idea?
So I am 25 and when I was 17 I had a 2 year relationship. At the time I thought he was the love of my life. Things ended badly and he broke it off over the phone one night and I never really heard from him again. The night before that he told me that he loved me.
Even years later I sometimes have dreams about him. I think I never really got closure from it. I think the whole thing has also given me issues that have stuck with me.
I still have his sister on fb and sometimes.pictures of her baby come up on newsfeed. I wonder how he is sometimes just out of curiosity as its as if he just vanished.
I was thinking about sending him a message but also quite worried. Does this seem like a bad idea?
Don't do it. Move on, he doesn't want you anymore. If he loved you, he would have reached out. After so many years, he must have forgotten about you completely. Don't let yourself get hurt again.
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Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Illegal Algebra
Don't do it. Move on, he doesn't want you anymore. If he loved you, he would have reached out. After so many years, he must have forgotten about you completely. Don't let yourself get hurt again.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
I don't think I do love him. I wouldn't want to be with him again. I suppose because of the things that happened with the two of us has made it hard for me to trust people.
Original post by Anonymous
I don't think I do love him. I wouldn't want to be with him again. I suppose because of the things that happened with the two of us has made it hard for me to trust people.
This is a good thing! That's great then! You don't love him and you don't want to be with him. You shouldn't let this bad experience affect your future relationships, you shouldn't begin to distrust people by default based on the past. Bottom line is that he left you, he doesn't care about you, so forget about him and seek happiness elsewhere.
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(edited 9 years ago)
I really don't get how girls manage to still want to talk/be with/love a person like that, after everything that boy has put them through. Have some dignity and don't lower yourself by initiating any kind of contact. Instead, just forget he ever existed and the right person will wash away all the pain he had caused.
(edited 9 years ago)
leave it. Let the past stay in the past, you'll pull up long worked out feelings and leave yourself in more emotional turmoil...
Original post by sabinaraus
I really don't get how girls manage to still want to talk/be with/love a person like that, after everything that boy has put them through. Have some dignity and don't lower yourself by initiating any kind of contact. Instead, just forget he ever existed and the right person will wash away all the pain he had caused.
i dont want to be with him or love him. Part of me is curious on what he is up to now tbh though. Part of me is also still angry about the past. I think things that happened with him stop me having healthy relationships with people now. I suppose i thought by messaging him is like me facing my demons and insecurities.
Don't hold on to the past (I say this as a woman who has only just got out of the habit of it). If they're in the past, then leave them there. A way of facing your insecurities and demons is to move on and be happy with yourself. It depends what your insecurities are though, it's always a good idea to work that out, then work on getting past the insecurities.
Was he your first love?
even if not, he was a big part of your life for 2 years, and to have that disappear all of a sudden can be quite jarring. Its completely normal to be curious about him and how he's doing.
If you don't have feelings for him, and want to say hi for old times sake, I really don't see the harm in it, be prepared for the possibility that he won't be interested, but if you're OK with that possibility, and you're not still attached romantically, you've nothing to lose.
even if not, he was a big part of your life for 2 years, and to have that disappear all of a sudden can be quite jarring. Its completely normal to be curious about him and how he's doing.
If you don't have feelings for him, and want to say hi for old times sake, I really don't see the harm in it, be prepared for the possibility that he won't be interested, but if you're OK with that possibility, and you're not still attached romantically, you've nothing to lose.
Original post by Kabloomybuzz
Was he your first love?
even if not, he was a big part of your life for 2 years, and to have that disappear all of a sudden can be quite jarring. Its completely normal to be curious about him and how he's doing.
If you don't have feelings for him, and want to say hi for old times sake, I really don't see the harm in it, be prepared for the possibility that he won't be interested, but if you're OK with that possibility, and you're not still attached romantically, you've nothing to lose.
even if not, he was a big part of your life for 2 years, and to have that disappear all of a sudden can be quite jarring. Its completely normal to be curious about him and how he's doing.
If you don't have feelings for him, and want to say hi for old times sake, I really don't see the harm in it, be prepared for the possibility that he won't be interested, but if you're OK with that possibility, and you're not still attached romantically, you've nothing to lose.
This is a good reply.
A hi isn't bad, but if he doesn't respond.... just dont keep expectations
But OP don't expect anything in return - he might of moved on or be like hi blast from the past.
The fact u still have his sister on ur fb u never really closed that door - alas assuming u girls haven't talked and she's just another friend on there u don't talk to.
Gl all the same, as someone's never got closure just teased - fake maybes and soon's to a chance meet to get closure!
Be mindful of them too! Don't want to scare them or spook them!
Posted from TSR Mobile
The fact u still have his sister on ur fb u never really closed that door - alas assuming u girls haven't talked and she's just another friend on there u don't talk to.
Gl all the same, as someone's never got closure just teased - fake maybes and soon's to a chance meet to get closure!
Be mindful of them too! Don't want to scare them or spook them!
Posted from TSR Mobile
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