The Student Room Group

Is "just be yourself" good advice

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Reply 40
Original post by queen-bee
Trust me most guys do and young girls like myself are usually at a loss because we don't compare with older women who've been there and done that. Experience is key.


In a way I feel the same about girls, but the last thing I'd do is straight up lie about myself and to myself. Cognitive dissonance isn't pleasant and besides, I'd rather be patient and improve myself and gain more experience, however much I desire things now
Original post by RobML
In a way I feel the same about girls, but the last thing I'd do is straight up lie about myself and to myself. Cognitive dissonance isn't pleasant and besides, I'd rather be patient and improve myself and gain more experience, however much I desire things now


Each to their own.
Reply 42
Original post by queen-bee
Each to their own.


Do we desire ideal characters or flawed people?
Original post by RobML
Do we desire ideal characters or flawed people?


Ideal characters Ofcourse. But if you don't have the ideal personality,you have to just fake one if you want to get somewhere.
I don't know if this is horribly clichéd, but I think "being the best version of yourself you can be" is probably applicable here?
Original post by Foo.mp3
Always be yourself, within sensible parameters and whilst adhering to a few basic rules of thumb, as well as ideally aiming to be your best self*

There is no greater feeling in the world - except perhaps scoring a crisp goal that counts for something - than scoring in spite of being unashamedly yourself :colonhash:


Are you a PUA?
No it's crap advice. Change yourself based on the situation.
Reply 47
Original post by queen-bee
Ideal characters Ofcourse. But if you don't have the ideal personality,you have to just fake one if you want to get somewhere.


And obviously beneath those ideal characters is a flawed person. There's a fragile line between them. If someone seems ideal then you just don't know them enough -once you do then that line is always, or at least very easily broken. And that's unpleasant for both parties.

I had spent nearly half my life playing a character because of various insecurities- keeping it up was stressful, soul-destroying, and most importantly I became disconnected from myself and therefore felt even more isolated. That all contributed to depression and anxiety I still have. I don't know if it's easier for adults to pull of but just be careful :smile:
Original post by RobML
And obviously beneath those ideal characters is a flawed person. There's a fragile line between them. If someone seems ideal then you just don't know them enough -once you do then that line is always, or at least very easily broken. And that's unpleasant for both parties.

I had spent nearly half my life playing a character because of various insecurities- keeping it up was stressful, soul-destroying, and most importantly I became disconnected from myself and therefore felt even more isolated. That all contributed to depression and anxiety I still have. I don't know if it's easier for adults to pull of but just be careful :smile:


Ain't nothing to be careful about :wink:
Reply 49
Original post by queen-bee
Ain't nothing to be careful about :wink:


Hmm yeah sorry if I'm being melodramatic, I've been at the wine a little more than I should have :wink:
Original post by RobML
Hmm yeah sorry if I'm being melodramatic, I've been at the wine a little more than I should have :wink:


Be honest witchoself!
Would you rather date a hot diva or just your average girl?
Reply 51
Original post by queen-bee
Be honest witchoself!
Would you rather date a hot diva or just your average girl?


Which one are you?
Original post by RobML
Which one are you?


Average girl but I wanna transition into the hot diva stage
Reply 53
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... no.
Original post by perspiracious
Are you a PUA?


Don't insult him.....Foo and I have very similar approaches to our coaching. However where foo has gone down the dating coaching side. I'm a confidence and charisma coach specializing in social anxiety.

I know sure as hell Id hate to be called a PUA.....Unfortunately life coaching and charisma coaching that is aimed primarily at men has been thrown into that term. Such a shame as most of the guys teaching "pick up" arnt really into the whole "pick up" bit at all. But in order to profit on their skills this is what they need to market as.
Original post by queen-bee
Average girl but I wanna transition into the hot diva stage


Define average.
Original post by Sam Walters
Define average.


Smart,geeky scientist,Russell group uni graduate,guys only like for my looks,not sleeping around or going clubbing ever weekend
Basically boring
Reply 57
Original post by queen-bee
Average girl but I wanna transition into the hot diva stage


So are going to rush it and just throw together a loose facade of a hot diva or are you going to take your time to see if you can work yourself in to and honest-to-god genuine hot diva?
I take it you've got the hot down already, so with a little patience the diva bit should come around easily if you've actually got it in you :wink:

I'd go for the genuine, secure, confident diva with a integrity of mind and action any day
Original post by RobML
So are going to rush it and just throw together a loose facade of a hot diva or are you going to take your time to see if you can work yourself in to and honest-to-god genuine hot diva?
I take it you've got the hot down already, so with a little patience the diva bit should come around easily if you've actually got it in you :wink:

I'd go for the genuine, secure, confident diva with a integrity of mind and action any day


Ain't nobody got time for waiting around,time is of the essence my dear!
Reply 59
Original post by queen-bee
Ain't nobody got time for waiting around,time is of the essence my dear!


Good things come to those who wait my dear!
I see that it is you want a boyfriend you are not truly compatible with; isn't that but a fleeting thing? A phase of desire? What happens when that phase passes or you cannot any longer pretend to be compatible with them yourself? Retain integrity, be yourself, and then your perfect prince will eventually fall for you. and then you live happily ever after and all that jazz

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