Is "just be yourself" good advice

Good things come to those who wait my dear!
I see that it is you want a boyfriend you are not truly compatible with; isn't that but a fleeting thing? A phase of desire? What happens when that phase passes or you cannot any longer pretend to be compatible with them yourself? Retain integrity, be yourself, and then your perfect prince will eventually fall for you. and then you live happily ever after and all that jazz

No. That only happens in Hollywood movies. Once you've experienced true heartache only then can you learn from your mistakes and I have.

I got carried away soz. Actually just totally ignore me because I've never been in a relationship and it's all so horrible and lonely and I honestly don't know what to think and I never usually post in this part of the forum and oh god soz.

Dude,lay off the alcohol. I'm in no better position than you. Ive been single for over a year and completely isolated.

Don't insult him.....Foo and I have very similar approaches to our coaching. However where foo has gone down the dating coaching side. I'm a confidence and charisma coach specializing in social anxiety.

I know sure as hell Id hate to be called a PUA.....Unfortunately life coaching and charisma coaching that is aimed primarily at men has been thrown into that term. Such a shame as most of the guys teaching "pick up" arnt really into the whole "pick up" bit at all. But in order to profit on their skills this is what they need to market as.

I just don't think that pondering about being yourself or not is the direction to go. I'd step back for more general advice, start from the beginning. Obviously I'm not one to give that advice so I'll stop here if you want me to. A virtual hug is the best I can do

What I need to do is step up my game,regarding the dating world etc

Then I wish you good luck

With a sample of one (douchebag Russian), great story

Where do you get this crap from?

That’s often true in life, but where uncle Foo is concerned you know you’re always guaranteed to get 100% realtalk

You appear to have conflated crazy feminist slag with complex and intriguing character*

Yup

I’m a dating coach

News to me

Sample size of 2. My first ex and I lasted a while,I think he just got bored of my character in the end.
I get this 'crap' from your threads/posts. Very great examples of certain characters which you have up on there which I aspire to be.
Well it's always the hot ones who's are wild,have an intriguing and complex character. The rest of us are just plain Janes. One thing you don't seem to realise is that guys don't go for cute,innocent little girls. Instead,they decide to run after the wild types who play hard to get or aren't even relationship material. Why? Because they're a lot fun to be around. They're more ready for anything and everything and probably wouldn't have reservations about sleeping with someone on a first date.
Yup,99.9% of guys just like me for my looks/body and that I belly dance has always been an added bonus,that's it really. Mother had always warned me but never listened and here I am.

Oh, for some reason I thought you left him, no?

Perhaps if you are interested in what a person like me goes for you’d do better to pay more attention to posts in which I describe my ideal girlfriend/wifey, rather than posts in which I describe the diverse characters I have dated once or twice; different beasts

Maybe to you. Quite apart from false associations, there is nevertheless an important balance to be struck between girls who are intriguing/complex on paper (may be faking it/only showing you one side of themselves) and girls who are loving and stable/dependable. Party girls almost never make for decent long term partners, and I personally would avoid like the plague. I wouldn’t even date a loud girl either, they'd just do my head in

Yours is a false dichotomy. I like a girl who is cute at times/among other things, decent/upstanding rather than totally innocent, and not too ‘little’ as in small but younger than me. With all due respect, you do not strike me as a girl who is just this cute little innocent thing so I'd say you're good

Perhaps boys do, but sensible, settled men do not

Again, you seem to have got it twisted. Sleeping with someone on the first date is by no means the be all and end all. Having the capacity to seduce a woman quickly is both fun/exhilarating and something of a (limited) accomplishment, but whether you score on the first or fifth date is irrelevant, if you end up with the girl of your dreams

Just as well the one bloke who really counts is in that 0.1% of guys

Thank you!

Absolutely agree, easier said than done of course but it’s got to be the #1 goal

Smart,geeky scientist,Russell group uni graduate,guys only like for my looks,not sleeping around or going clubbing ever weekend
Basically boring

So my type then....ha!

Big up on the scientist front. One of STFC`s slaves here.

I'm your type?! Lol What's STFC?

Aye, pretty much! What i love is people whom have passions. Scientists are passionate about what they do generally. You're a scientist and you don't know what STFC is?! They only own. RAL. ISIS. CERN and ITER! Not a real scientist then clearly

f

And obviously beneath those ideal characters is a flawed person. There's a fragile line between them. If someone seems ideal then you just don't know them enough -once you do then that line is always, or at least very easily broken. And that's unpleasant for both parties.

I had spent nearly half my life playing a character because of various insecurities- keeping it up was stressful, soul-destroying, and most importantly I became disconnected from myself and therefore felt even more isolated. That all contributed to depression and anxiety I still have. I don't know if it's easier for adults to pull of but just be careful

I didn’t realise they’d both cheated, sorry, for some reason I thought you left your first boyfriend because he had issues/had become abusive

Sure, but you have to remember that because of my health a lot of the girls I’ve dated (with the exception of my most recent ex, and girl I met up with from TSR) have been girls I met via online dating e.g. a particular type of girl who: is on there to begin with, attracts me, and responds to my douchey chitchat

Actually all my ex’s have tended to be the sweet/grounded type, and a number of them were relatively placid/un-sexual. I’ve never been seeing a party girl, although I’ve had the odd date with them, and very few of my dates/partners have ever really been down for short term. Furthermore, anyone I’ve ever seen for any length of time has always been themselves

Honey, give yourself some intellectual credit, please. Life is seldom like it is in the movies!

Crazy sluts aren’t single? Haha. They are eternally single, trust me, guys won’t go there except to say they’ve shagged them, get a high five from their mates, and move on

Being in-demand is different from being accessible. Both are fine in men, and increase their stock, but the later actually diminishes the stock of a girl, as per the oft used sluts vs. studs infographic

For sure, and most will boot her out of bed the next day, and she’ll have to do the walk of shame, with a killer hangover, tights laddered, bed-headed, makeup smudged everywhere, blubbing to herself, her mascara running down her slutty chops.. it’s a good look

Why don’t you do a poll and find out, methinks you’ll be surprised with the outcome

Guys don’t like girls who are pointlessly hard work, nor girls who are so easy they’ll get on their back for anyone at the drop of a hat. Go figure! They certainly don’t like girls who are fake, that’s for sure

Yup, because unfortunately there is a correlation between alpha characteristics, being ‘dominant’, and getting away with treating people like crap (by virtue of those attributes e.g. the abundance that comes with them = onto the next girl)

An empty existence, more likely to involve mental/sexual health issues etc

That certainly hasn’t been my experience

Good show