The "so I moved to uni but I have no friends '' thread.
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Original post by arminb
Ok let me clarify somepin'. I drink and watch porn and do drugs and play poker. and fornicate and welcome idea of a threesome ...
I was born a Muslims and that's it. I say Muslim because people like to identify me as such.
But I don't really practise. Except for that I don't eat pork because that's easy to do
. But you are right I might as well eat pork . I have no interest in the Islamic society. I can't go clubbing because when I do I just sit in a corner and not dance and be shy so I basically I look like a sadder. I have fear of dancing. I can't dance.
I was born a Muslims and that's it. I say Muslim because people like to identify me as such.
But I don't really practise. Except for that I don't eat pork because that's easy to do
. But you are right I might as well eat pork . I have no interest in the Islamic society. I can't go clubbing because when I do I just sit in a corner and not dance and be shy so I basically I look like a sadder. I have fear of dancing. I can't dance.Ah I have Muslim friends like that too, it makes it a lot easier! There can still be a barrier the're though for some people. Just run around like a loon talking to rrandom people , that's what I do (I don't dance either) and its totally why I have so many friends
Original post by arminb
But loneliness causes depression and mental issues which will in turn affect your academic life and capabilities.
Well for me it ain't a problem I've got family and relatives to chill with. It all depends on the individual. When I was college I didn't stay around people much. I just studied hard and then got one of the best results in the college. I enjoy studying and I treat it as a way to pass time. I plan to continue with this sort of mindset when I start University.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Raymat
I'd rather not have friends. They can be a big distraction and I don't want to risk my degree.
That's exactly what I said at first. Believe me; you want company.
I'm in the same situation. I have friends I go to lectures with, but beyond that we have nada in common so I don't see them afterwards. I do feel lonely often, and I think this has led to me slacking off in my coursework. I also have mild social anxiety to add to my problems. I've tried making friends outside of my course, but I don't think I'm interesting enough as they seem to lose interest quite quickly. I'm at a loss socially.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by TIATA
I'm in the same situation. I have friends I go to lectures with, but beyond that we have nada in common so I don't see them afterwards. I do feel lonely often, and I think this has led to me slacking off in my coursework. I also have mild social anxiety to add to my problems. I've tried making friends outside of my course, but I don't think I'm interesting enough as they seem to lose interest quite quickly. I'm at a loss socially.
That is exactly how I feel. People just lose interest in me after a few days. I am shy and dont talk much often so it is not surprising that they might find me uninteresting. Somewhere I read that shyness is actually the fear of social criticism.
I think this person exactly feels the same as we do:
'' You begin to obsess about the fact that you have no friends and wonder why. You turn your harshest critical eye inward and self-examine and magnify all flaws, searching for a possible answer. Since you obsess about it so much, you begin to feel like everybody else must notice what a loner you are too. Then you become paranoid, feeling like whenever other people look at you, they see a friendless weirdo loser with no prospects in life--no future. This only makes it that much harder to make new friends. So a downward negative spiral begins--being slightly shy turns people away, making it more difficult to make new friends, which in turn makes you less socially capable. It's next to impossible to enjoy yourself at parties, on the rare occasions that you get invited to one.
While you're walking alone down a street, it feels as though all passers-by are higher order, socially intelligent, fashionable people who effortlessly glide through life on a winged chariot of charm and charisma. In comparison you are alone and defective, and very bitter about it. You begin to hate; nay, to despise the "popular" people in all their blithe and breezy self-confidence.
You check Facebook, your e-mail, and Quora compulsively. You become addicted to the red notifications, clicking the refresh button like a rat frantically pressing a lever for the next dose of cocaine. When one does come, it is immensely satisfying for an oh-so-brief moment, until the lonely abyss returns to swallow you whole once more.
You turn to other hobbies and little vices to sate your inner emotional void. Food becomes your best friend. The excess eating gratifies your mind, but ravages your body. Becoming fat and out of shape only further distances and alienates other people, adding to the vicious cycle: eating to numb the pain of loneliness brought about by eating.
That is what it is like to have no friends. Only until someone comes along to pull you out of your self-imposed seclusion, will you begin to return to normalcy.''
-Amy Hansen, Quora
Original post by arminb
How? Everyone watches porn when they're bored.
Uh? Excuse you, not everyone does. The whole world is not like you.
Original post by Anonymous
Uh? Excuse you, not everyone does. The whole world is not like you.
I read about porn addiction and the effects of pornography yesterday. I stopped watching porn since yesterday and I hope I can stay porn free. I think porn makes people not want to leave their room and unwilling to form a relationship but I just started so I have to wait for a few months and see if it works. . So you mean you never watch porn? Even when you don't have a sex partner?
Original post by arminb
So yea, I left my dear-old, beautiful, diverse and magnificent London in September to come to Scotland (Edinburgh) and I have no friends. I have literally nobody to go out with or to to at least talk to. When I go to lectures everyone's around them mates talking and laughing and I pass by them. I spend Fridays watching films or reading newspapers like my dead granpa. I hate life, I hate living, I hate this laptop that takes all my time, I hate watching porn all the ****ing time. Anyone else in the same situation?
What kind of films do you watch?
Reading your responses here you sound rather pathetic. Not once have you mentioned your attempts to make friends. Have you joined any clubs, societies, sports teams, gone out your way to talk to people? No! So what are you talking about? You think you are that awesome that friends are going to fall into your lap? No way mate. Go out and earn it! Stop watching porn because you will become so dehumanised and sexually driven you will literally turn into something unpleasant. With porn comes addiction and a craving that cannot be satisfied by your hand or lotion.
You're Muslim right? Join the Muslim group at uni... Just make sure you don't join ISIS in the process! Lol
You're Muslim right? Join the Muslim group at uni... Just make sure you don't join ISIS in the process! Lol
Original post by arminb
So yea, I left my dear-old, beautiful, diverse and magnificent London in September to come to Scotland (Edinburgh) and I have no friends. I have literally nobody to go out with or to to at least talk to. When I go to lectures everyone's around them mates talking and laughing and I pass by them. I spend Fridays watching films or reading newspapers like my dead granpa. I hate life, I hate living, I hate this laptop that takes all my time, I hate watching porn all the ****ing time. Anyone else in the same situation?
Original post by benq
What kind of films do you watch?
I really like Kubrick and Godard .The more recent ones, I enjoyed Boyhood ALOT as well as Amour. Do you want to watch some Iranian films? These ones are my best( i think they are available on YouTube):
1. Close Up Kiarostami
2. Taste of Cherry Kiarostami
3. Salam Cinema Makhmalbaf
Check these out too.
Original post by arminb
I really like Kubrick and Godard .The more recent ones, I enjoyed Boyhood ALOT as well as Amour. Do you want to watch some Iranian films? These ones are my best( i think they are available on YouTube):
1. Close Up Kiarostami
2. Taste of Cherry Kiarostami
3. Salam Cinema Makhmalbaf
Check these out too.
1. Close Up Kiarostami
2. Taste of Cherry Kiarostami
3. Salam Cinema Makhmalbaf
Check these out too.
Love Kubrick and seen only Breathless from Godard. I was thinking to watch his Vivre Sa Vie, what do you think? I have seen Taste of Cherry as well, the only Iranian film I have seen, and let me tell you, it didn't win Palme d'Or for nothing! Certainly one of the most powerful films I know.
Original post by benq
Love Kubrick and seen only Breathless from Godard. I was thinking to watch his Vivre Sa Vie, what do you think? I have seen Taste of Cherry as well, the only Iranian film I have seen, and let me tell you, it didn't win Palme d'Or for nothing! Certainly one of the most powerful films I know.
I think Vivre Sa Vie is about that women who chooses to become a sex worker. Great film but I think it wasn't his best. I'd say you should watch Pierrot Le Fou (Crazy Pete) , Bond a part (band of outsiders) and Weekend first. Kiarostami is a legend, he is one of the besy filmmakers the world has seen.
"Cinema starts with DW Griffith and ends with Kiarostami"
-Godard
Check Close Up too. It is party a documentary partly a film. Ranked amongst the top 50 films of all time by BFI.
Original post by arminb
So yea, I left my dear-old, beautiful, diverse and magnificent London in September to come to Scotland (Edinburgh) and I have no friends. I have literally nobody to go out with or to to at least talk to. When I go to lectures everyone's around them mates talking and laughing and I pass by them. I spend Fridays watching films or reading newspapers like my dead granpa. I hate life, I hate living, I hate this laptop that takes all my time, I hate watching porn all the ****ing time. Anyone else in the same situation?
Been there, done that. I quit, moved back home, am now finishing up my undergraduate degree with the OU and am having a considerably better time.
Is it mainly that uni hasn't been everything you'd hoped it would be, or rather just that you're lonely/frustrated that you've not connected with anyone so far?
Original post by SebCross
Been there, done that. I quit, moved back home, am now finishing up my undergraduate degree with the OU and am having a considerably better time.
Is it mainly that uni hasn't been everything you'd hoped it would be, or rather just that you're lonely/frustrated that you've not connected with anyone so far?
Is it mainly that uni hasn't been everything you'd hoped it would be, or rather just that you're lonely/frustrated that you've not connected with anyone so far?
I don't think it is my expectation of uni. It is more that loneliness bothers me. I like to think there's someone out there whom I can spend some time with and discuss things with. I like to have someone to like my stuff on fb and send me txt messages every once in a while. And I don't think it's much to ask.
thank you for your advice .
Original post by arminb
I don't think it is my expectation of uni. It is more that loneliness bothers me. I like to think there's someone out there whom I can spend some time with and discuss things with. I like to have someone to like my stuff on fb and send me txt messages every once in a while. And I don't think it's much to ask. thank you for your advice .
thank you for your advice .This is a bit of a weird one but you could consider joining the Erasmus facebook group for your university and going to a few of their events, even if you don't speak any other languages. Erasmus students tend to be very welcoming and willing to make friends, because they're all new to the uni and need to make connections. In my experience, the Erasmus students are more willing to make new friends and invite people to do things compared to English students, who tend to make friendship groups within their own flat or house and often just do things together.
Original post by Ekemini
You guys make uni sound like a nightmare. i am the kind of person that likes to have someone to talk to so i would definetely want friends. I dont have friends in college and i hope it wont be the same thing when i get to uni.
It can be a nightmare. There's a reason such a disproportionately high amount of people of that age commit suicide when they go to university. Be wary, it's not a dreamland, it can be rough for a lot of people.
Original post by arminb
I don't think it is my expectation of uni. It is more that loneliness bothers me. I like to think there's someone out there whom I can spend some time with and discuss things with. I like to have someone to like my stuff on fb and send me txt messages every once in a while. And I don't think it's much to ask. thank you for your advice .
thank you for your advice .Well, indeed. People can be so fickle at times can't they? I wish you luck with it: PM me if you fancy more of a chat.
Original post by arminb
I don't think it is my expectation of uni. It is more that loneliness bothers me. I like to think there's someone out there whom I can spend some time with and discuss things with. I like to have someone to like my stuff on fb and send me txt messages every once in a while. And I don't think it's much to ask. thank you for your advice .
thank you for your advice .I really do hope you will find friends. I wish you the best.
Original post by arminb
I think Vivre Sa Vie is about that women who chooses to become a sex worker. Great film but I think it wasn't his best. I'd say you should watch Pierrot Le Fou (Crazy Pete) , Bond a part (band of outsiders) and Weekend first. Kiarostami is a legend, he is one of the besy filmmakers the world has seen.
"Cinema starts with DW Griffith and ends with Kiarostami"
-Godard
Check Close Up too. It is party a documentary partly a film. Ranked amongst the top 50 films of all time by BFI.
"Cinema starts with DW Griffith and ends with Kiarostami"
-Godard
Check Close Up too. It is party a documentary partly a film. Ranked amongst the top 50 films of all time by BFI.
Cheers a lot, added all to my to-watch list! You seem to have an excellent cinematic taste for our age! Have you seen any Tarkovsky?
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