Mental Health Support Society XVI

Rant at me if you want? Would do something else if I could but I can't so I'll offer that

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All over the place today, going between laughing and crying ridiculously quickly but with bad thoughts added in to both

Emailed DofE lady - I hate emails Like I spend so long thinking about it/putting them off, and then quick "tapper tapper type" and it's written, another tap and it's sent!

Scared that she won't know what to do/that now it's gone off to the region that that's that. I didn't even ask for it to be sent off

Procrastinated a lot in library, but it's a start I guess Went to wellbeing drop-in today, and decided with her I'm going to allocate one hour every single day to go to the library to get some work done - thinking I'll do it whenever I plan to go home? So I finish with stuff, then I *would* get the bus home, but instead going to go to library, *then* home an hour later. Hopefully will work

She commented that the times she's seen me, I seem to be preoccupied with what I *should* do in a situation/what I *should* have done, and just kinda odd someone saying that/pointing it out - I think I probably do sometimes get preoccupied with that/maybe that's why decisions are so rubbish for me trying to figure out what I *should* do in a situation/what's the definite best thing to do, rather than just deciding Like I *should* be efficient with money, so I spend weeks deciding what to buy/from where.

Also decided with her to send the above email ^^ and also to read through some workshop/notes thing on "Assertiveness" so will give that a read when I can.

She was so nice though - just so nice to be able to talk to someone openly/just ramble what your problems are atm, and to go through them/think of practical stuff to try and help with them? Need to remember to go more often. Don't want to go *too* often, but tempted to maybe go fortnightly or something.

Just realised there's no group this week :/ oh well

but anyway...... Sorry for this massive ramble Just about to watch some of the 2nd Hobbit Extended edition with my dinner - got it for christmas but not watched yet



Hope everyone's okay, will reply to folks in a bit/after dinner

edit: starts eating... is cold now

I guess I had put all my mental energy into trying to convince them to let me out of hospital, and now i'm out, i'm lost. Did a bad thing last night and ended up in A&E but thankfully no psych hospital admission.

I'm a horrible person. Don't deserve help.

Not at all! What makes you think that???

Friend called me crying earlier and she often talks about triggering subject matter, and I don't think I can cope with her right now? I'm horrible because I'm too selfish to help.

That's not you being too selfish - that's you being very ill. MASSIVE difference. We all have to take breaks from time to time to preserve ourselves and our own health (which must always come first), be that with people from MHSS or IRL people who we may be much closer to. Nothing wrong with that

I need a driving license, but because of my anxiety, I've never really got to grips with the gears - as having too many things to think about makes me panic. I have driven my mum's automatic and I can do that without a problem, but the added layer of gears stresses me out.

I understand that I would get used to them eventually, but that would likely take a lot of time, effort and money that I just cannot spare at the moment.

I'm thinking about taking auto lessons and passing my test that way, so at least I can buy something and be using it. And cross the bridge of needing a manual license if and when it ever becomes a problem (which I can't see why it would tbh, I'll just by auto cars).

The problem is that the person currently teaching me is my dad. He's a manual instructor, and obviously it would cost more lesson by lesson to get auto lessons. But I genuinely believe that I wouldn't need that many, because every aspect of my driving is fine other than the gears. I know it sounds weird. But in my head, if there's a viable option that cuts out the gears, why aren't I going for it?? I'm already 24 and have wasted far too much time on this!!

Thank you. Just not sure how to cope with the guilt?

I need a driving license, but because of my anxiety, I've never really got to grips with the gears - as having too many things to think about makes me panic. I have driven my mum's automatic and I can do that without a problem, but the added layer of gears stresses me out.

I understand that I would get used to them eventually, but that would likely take a lot of time, effort and money that I just cannot spare at the moment.

I'm thinking about taking auto lessons and passing my test that way, so at least I can buy something and be using it. And cross the bridge of needing a manual license if and when it ever becomes a problem (which I can't see why it would tbh, I'll just by auto cars).

The problem is that the person currently teaching me is my dad. He's a manual instructor, and obviously it would cost more lesson by lesson to get auto lessons. But I genuinely believe that I wouldn't need that many, because every aspect of my driving is fine other than the gears. I know it sounds weird. But in my head, if there's a viable option that cuts out the gears, why aren't I going for it?? I'm already 24 and have wasted far too much time on this!!

I say go for it! (although I do not understand the British obsession with manual cars). You're probably right that you should be able to pass quicker in an automatic as it's, imo, easy as hell. I had two 40 minute lessons with an instructor then borrowed a friend's car for a combined maybe 3 hours just to get that bit more comfortable. Passed first time!

What's up?



Good luck, and maybe catch you later.

just don't want this anymore. had enough

Whats up lovely?

just had enough