Why do you wait till after marriage?

Those that wait till marriage have much lower divorce rate than those sluts that dont, that's my biggest reason.

The guy then broke up with me because I wouldn't put out

because where I'm from, most guys only think about sex, they pretend to be nice and everything until they get sex and then they break up with the girl ..

My virginity is something I'm proud of and I'll never lose it for anyone except my spouse

Silly to marry someone before doing anything sexual with them? I would say the opposite. How do you know that person isn't using you?

I think the regret that would come with the realisation that I've given it to someone who doesn't care about me would kill me.someone once told me that regret is like cancer,it eats you from the inside then kills you fully.I try to avoid it as much as I can.but this doesn't mean I don't live my life to the fullest.i do many things on impulse but not giving up my virginity.

I want it to be special

It's given me peace of mind in marriage and I think young people should make that choice.

Also, I like to think that my husband would appreciate me 'only being his' which is a total cliche but hey, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone...

Truth is some men like to get the girl no-one was able to get and knowing that they're not going out with someone everyone had or could have had, if that makes sense. As a guy, if you're serious about settling down, you want to be proud of calling someone your wife. It's a sense of pride when it comes to 'show off' to your boys as well.

I wouldn't worry about that. I have come to realise that when guys graduate and/or start to mature, they become more willing to wait.

I understand the feeling guilty part perfectly. If I didn't wait till marriage to have sex, I wouldn't also have been able to handle the guilt.

My personal reasons:

1) I am a Christian, that is to say, a follower of Jesus Christ.

2) I believe God made sex for us to enjoy but he has placed it in the boundaries of a committed relationship such as marriage.

3) I think it's worth the wait. I have heard so many couples who had sex before marriage say 'I wish we had waited'. Waiting develops qualities like patience and self-control whilst in the 'In a Relationship' and 'Engaged' stages.

4) If I aim for the bed when I am in a relationship, how does that make me a good giver? I am thinking of what I can give my girlfriend and wife-to-be, not what I can receive from her. Treating women as sex tools to satisfy my sexual lust is a big no no. People say that women should not be treated as sex objects, yet fail to realise that this is precisely what sex before marriage does.

5) If a relationship does not work out, it is much more difficult for the couple, especially for the girl, to accept the break-up. Emotional pain for broken-up couples who have had premarital sex is much bigger than for those who have not had sex before marriage.

God bless you, guys. Take care.

Do you know what? I'm a guy and I'm a virgin and I'm proud to say it. I'm happy with myself for not succumbing to peer pressure or how society thinks that men need to sleep around in order to look cool and tough. I think it's sad how men compete with each other in these worthless things. I have friends who tell me I'm 'missing out' but I don't care. I don't need to sleep around to have fun and never will. I expect my wife to be virgin too and so I'll also keep my side of the bargain. IMO guys who remain virgins till after marriage are the stronger ones as living in a society where there is constant temptation everywhere is extremely difficult, and I praise those who do not give in to those temptations. It takes a LOT of courage to do that. Especially when society is judging you 24/7. Well done for standing up for yourselves

We always here why horny chavs and other people like AlphaLADs don't wait to have sex and I don't judge them either way as that's how they were brought up or view their morals...

but what what are your personal reasons for waiting to have sex until after marriage?

Those that wait till marriage have much lower divorce rate than those sluts that dont, that's my biggest reason.

Do you know what? I'm a guy and I'm a virgin and I'm proud to say it. I'm happy with myself for not succumbing to peer pressure or how society thinks that men need to sleep around in order to look cool and tough. I think it's sad how men compete with each other in these worthless things. I have friends who tell me I'm 'missing out' but I don't care. I don't need to sleep around to have fun and never will. I expect my wife to be virgin too and so I'll also keep my side of the bargain. IMO guys who remain virgins till after marriage are the stronger ones as living in a society where there is constant temptation everywhere is extremely difficult, and I praise those who do not give in to those temptations. It takes a LOT of courage to do that. Especially when society is judging you 24/7. Well done for standing up for yourselves

Well I have always been a Catholic but I kind of deviated of it a bit when I went to college. Then I was open to the idea of having sex providing I was in a serious relationship. I got a few failed relationships in college so I didn't lose my virginity then.

Then when I got to uni I got my first proper relationship and it still didn't feel right to do it so I didn't. The guy then broke up with me because I wouldn't put out and as I moved on with life I got to understand that this is all young guys want. They just want to sleep with as many girls as they can and maybe be 'virgin slayers' sometimes too.

On top of that, last year I got much closer to my religion and I just decided it was better to wait.

I always wonder how many people who have waited until they're married to have sex, discover on their wedding night that they just aren't sexually compatible in the slightest. A good few I imagine.

Yeah, sure you don't judge...



The trouble with both you guys is you can't just say "look, this is the right choice for me", you have to self congratulate, talk about how courageous and wonderful you are. You aren't having sex, you don't deserve a medal. Just live your life. Most people don't have sex "to look cool", they do it because it feels amazing, it's an incredible way to connect with someone.

No one should be looked down on for their sexual choices. Yes you get **** for being a virgin, but that doesn't excuse you slut shaming ever.



See, this is the kind of black/white thinking that you tend to get preached at you (I was raised Christian but am an atheist). Just because a guy wants sex, that doesn't mean that's all he wants. Most adults, male and female, would expect sex as part of a loving relationship. To think that automatically means that is their only concern is ridiculous, almost everyone will have a multitude of conditions, of varying importance, for a relationship. Real life isn't black/white, God/Devil, sin/virtue. How can you say all young guys want is sex, when so many are in monogamous relationships?

This could easily be said the other way around: "he broke up with me because I obviously didn't think anything of him to even do the most basic requirement of a relationship"

See, this is the kind of black/white thinking that you tend to get preached at you (I was raised Christian but am an atheist). Just because a guy wants sex, that doesn't mean that's all he wants. Most adults, male and female, would expect sex as part of a loving relationship. To think that automatically means that is their only concern is ridiculous, almost everyone will have a multitude of conditions, of varying importance, for a relationship. Real life isn't black/white, God/Devil, sin/virtue. How can you say all young guys want is sex, when so many are in monogamous relationships?

Great reasons, I think the weak willed non-virgins can't handle this and are trying to taint your reasons, never listen to their foul lustful thoughts

Those that wait till marriage have much lower divorce rate than those sluts that dont, that's my biggest reason.

Basic requirement of a relationship? How old are you?

We aren't "self congratulating" or patting ourselves on the back, and the Christians your slamming don't judge those who do have sex. The most respected and remembered people in Church history started off as the worst sinners.
You know what else is an incredible way to connect with someone? Going out, hanging out with their friends, or playing a board game, no relationship NEEDS Sex.

"Most people have sex to look cool"? I really hope that was a joke because thats definitely not how society or anyone I know views it.
No one should be slut shaming, and if people want to be proud of their decisions why is that so wrong? No one tells the person bragging about their sexual conquests to quit patting themselves on the back?

If you're atheist i'm sure you have your reasons and have had some ****ty experiences with ignorant, judging, hateful "Christians", but in the end what really matters is that you live your life not for yourself but for others.

Basic requirement of a relationship? How old are you?

When you say 'it's off the table' and they run it means that's all they want.

It doesn't matter that they are in relationships some just end up 'officiating' things because it's 'sex on tap' or something to pass the time. So many young guys end up in relationships that they have no intention to be in the future. A few relationships end up making it but it's not norm for young people to stay together for a long time in this day and age.

Did you not see I quoted someone having a go at "sluts" there? Of course Christians often judge people who have sex, I'm not saying all Christians do, but many do. I do those things too, but lets face it, if you can equate the fun of a board game to the fun of your sex life, you've got a pretty bad sex life. Or one hell of a board game, perhaps. All relationships are different, but many people would feel very frustrated and unloved if their long term partner refused to have sex with them.

Yes they do, frequently.

Not really, I still have Christian family and I don't resent them at all, my personal experience of religion isn't that negative at all. My dislike of religion more comes from scientific rationalism and my studies into history and politics, which have led me to conclude organised religion is generally a negative force in the world, promoting hatred, division, exploitation and ignorance.



I'm 23, I'd say that is the case for most relationships. You realise people have more sex as they get out their teens, not less, right?

No it doesn't. I'd consider ending a relationship if a girl said that. Not because that's all I want, but because if she says that she either-

- Isn't sexually attracted to me, so the relationship doesn't really have a future.
- Is playing silly games, in which case she's probably a bit immature for me.
- Doesn't believe in sex before marriage, in which case she probably has incompatable beliefs with me.

Like I say, things are more nuanced, there's more than one reason a guy might do that. If you sat down and explained that you need to feel loved and safe before we had sex, and that might take some time, that would be one thing. I'd totally understand, and go with it if I liked you enough, but just to dictate to me "sex is off the table"? Nope.

You can never be certain of how things will end up. It doesn't mean the relationship wasn't worthwhile, or that you were just doing it to "pass the time". Again, this is dichotomous thinking, the idea that just because the relationship didn't work out, he never had any feelings for you.

Out of curiosity, OP, is seeking validation for your lifestyle choices the whole point of this thread? It seems like it, given that you seem to derive comfort from people who share your disdain for those who don't choose to lead sexually dysfunctional lives.