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22 still struggling with social skills

It is transparent to the forum.that this is a difficulty

It may be due to my Dyspraxia ot my mental health problems.but Dad is now regularly saying ai'm coming across as autistic

Thrpughout.childhood and some of secondary I was called.retarded, this eventually led to comfort eating and being overweight, I lost the weight but ended ip with body image issues and neruoses around health and nutrition that have not been resolved yet.

I have friends my best friends being relatively adjusted Dyspraxics and one having ADHD/Aspergers yet outside of these and even compared to.e.g. my sister I still feel like.II'm an outsider. Examples: I don't drink, I have unusual.thoughts, I completely struggle with girls, apparently I am very argumentative, take jokes literally esp. when sarcastic/dry. For this reason I fled to the Internet maybe 5 years ago now.

I need tips about this it's no longer funny.hence my obsession with the alpha male
Reply 1
Avatar for A5ko
A5ko
3
Yet the image of the alpha male, is some athletic dickwad that no one actually likes.

How about you strive to be a 'not-so-annoying' average joe?
Original post by A5ko
Yet the image of the alpha male, is some athletic dickwad that no one actually likes.

How about you strive to be a 'not-so-annoying' average joe?


Why am I annoying?

How is he a dickwad?
I'd consider getting an IP block or something similar, staying on your computer does you significantly more harm then good.
Reply 4
Avatar for A5ko
A5ko
3
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
Why am I annoying?


:s-smilie:

Original post by Smash Bandicoot
How is he a dickwad?


The whole Alpha male thing is horribly skewed on the interwebs. It varies from person to person on what they believe an Alpha to be.

My personal interpretation is the thicko 'jock' type, who always eats the last pringle and would bang your mum given the chance.

Not someone you would actually 'befriend' but tolerate to be seen as 'cool'.

Honestly, it's all bull**** which ever way you slice it.
What do you want to hear, what do you expect us to do?

Get therapy. And then more therapy. It's probably too late though for you to lead a normal life.
Original post by A5ko
:s-smilie:



The whole Alpha male thing is horribly skewed on the interwebs. It varies from person to person on what they believe an Alpha to be.

My personal interpretation is the thicko 'jock' type, who always eats the last pringle and would bang your mum given the chance.

Not someone you would actually 'befriend' but tolerate to be seen as 'cool'.

Honestly, it's all bull**** which ever way you slice it.


Lol at :s-smilie:

A not unheard of interpretation tbf
Original post by TitanicTeutonicPhil
What do you want to hear, what do you expect us to do?

Get therapy. And then more therapy. It's probably too late though for you to lead a normal life.


In t it never covers social skills...

Hahaha good one :smile:
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
In t it never covers social skills...


The development of social skills is a result of a sane mind. Get rid of your neuroses and inhibitions, and it'll come to you.

Original post by Smash Bandicoot
Hahaha good one :smile:


Wasn't a joke.
another serious bump…Jesus I need therapy
ask your GP if they can speed things up. tell them youre finding day to day life extremely difficult, that youre not coping and you need help as a matter of urgency.
therapy SHOULD cover some sort of social skills, some of those skills will come naturally when you reduce your levels of anxiety and rumination as you will be able to think more clearly and empathise more with those around you and will have more control over what you say/do but you should be able to get some form of social skills training as well, there are certainly courses around as I was meant to take one
Original post by doodle_333
therapy SHOULD cover some sort of social skills, some of those skills will come naturally when you reduce your levels of anxiety and rumination as you will be able to think more clearly and empathise more with those around you and will have more control over what you say/do but you should be able to get some form of social skills training as well, there are certainly courses around as I was meant to take one


it's not as if I don't understand people at all just I'm not as 'savvy' IRL as most people my age IMO
Original post by sherlockfan
ask your GP if they can speed things up. tell them youre finding day to day life extremely difficult, that youre not coping and you need help as a matter of urgency.


life is easy it's just I lack motivation for change (or did a few days ago I have a bit atm)
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
life is easy it's just I lack motivation for change (or did a few days ago I have a bit atm)

well then what can i tell you. every piece of advice that's been given to you you just ignore.
Original post by sherlockfan
well then what can i tell you. every piece of advice that's been given to you you just ignore.


not really, you may have noticed the last 2 days I've been trying to cut down my use of TSR and as such get to bed on time, I feel significantly less out of it today than I did yesterday for example

I reckon my quality of life will significantly improve and my symptoms slightly drop if I can curb my addiction, no point dealing with social anxiety* until I've done the basics



*as in I will try to improve but know addiction will make it twice as difficult
Reply 15
Avatar for aggiem
aggiem
10
Some of these comments seema bit harsh to me. You should go and see you GP if you feel like you will be able to tell him all this. If not try making an appointment then write it all out and just go in and hand him the bit of paper.
A lot of what you've mentioned does sound like an element of autism to me, which could be a good thing! Look at some of the website about autism and things that can help. Speak to some autistic charities for advice. If you are autistic it's possible the GP wont help you and these charities will help a lot.
Give yourself a challenge such as one day a week have no internet, plan something to do on that day, someone to meet, anything to distract you. Then afterwards think of how you felt at the end of the day and the next day compared to a day when you used the internet. After a while things should improve for you.
Good luck!
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
I am very argumentative, take jokes literally esp. when sarcastic/dry.

My friend does that all the time, it's so ****ing annoying so I'd suggest you fix that first.
Original post by Dilzo999
My friend does that all the time, it's so ****ing annoying so I'd suggest you fix that first.



Original post by Dilzo999
My friend does that all the time, it's so ****ing annoying so I'd suggest you fix that first.


It's quite tricky as I have similar characteristics to someone with Aspergers (in fact I anlm seeking diagnosis of that at present) :/
Original post by aggiem
Some of these comments seema bit harsh to me. You should go and see you GP if you feel like you will be able to tell him all this. If not try making an appointment then write it all out and just go in and hand him the bit of paper.
A lot of what you've mentioned does sound like an element of autism to me, which could be a good thing! Look at some of the website about autism and things that can help. Speak to some autistic charities for advice. If you are autistic it's possible the GP wont help you and these charities will help a lot.
Give yourself a challenge such as one day a week have no internet, plan something to do on that day, someone to meet, anything to distract you. Then afterwards think of how you felt at the end of the day and the next day compared to a day when you used the internet. After a while things should improve for you.
Good luck!


THanks :smile: I am trying that atm albeit with some Internet time
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
it's not as if I don't understand people at all just I'm not as 'savvy' IRL as most people my age IMO


yes, that is why I say some social skills training might help

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