muslim girls and boyfriends

Original post by Mary562

I'm really disappointed to hear this and the fact that stupid people on here are giving you BAD advice. I will link you some videos (via PM) and insha'Allah you would see the difference of what a real relationship is and what you're thinking of. And I'd like to add that you're still young, at this age everyone's hormones are flying around (if you get me). You need to first think... You rather have a halal relationship than a haraam one which is forbidden.
People spend way too much of their youth thinking about such bull****. Dream big about other things and accomplish something real. Your whole life, and especially your youth, is not about you being attached to someone else. You're an individual.

May Allah guide you in the straight path. Ameen

You're disappointed she's considering a choice? You think people must be stupid to give advice that's not agreeable with your beliefs?

And then you have the chutzpah to end the post with 'you're an individual' after talking about what's 'forbidden' and 'halal' and 'haraam' - If she's an individual she can make up her mind without threats/pressure.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 83

Mary562

2

Original post by samba

You're disappointed she's considering a choice? You think people must be stupid to give advice that's not agreeable with your beliefs?

And then you have the chutzpah to end the post with 'you're an individual' after talking about what's 'forbidden' and 'halal' and 'haraam' - If she's an individual she can make up her mind without threats pressure.

Correct and? We have dull-witted comments being posted here.
Who do you think you are to question me like that? Calm yourself and try to understand the purpose of the message. If you don't understand then simply ignore it. It wasn't for you to read anyway also my mentality is very different from yours.
Thanks

Reply 84

samba

Original post by Mary562

Correct and? We have dull-witted comments being posted here.
Who do you think you are to question me like that? Calm yourself and try to understand the purpose of the message. If you don't understand then simply ignore it. It wasn't for you to read anyway also my mentality is very different from yours.
Thanks

I understand the purpose perfectly. You're a devout Muslim and it's your duty and pleasure to 'help' others in the way you believe will keep them on the right path. In this case you feel showing disappointment and throwing around threat of sin will help them most, as well as wanting to educate them with the video.

Which is all fair enough, other than the part where you attempt to manipulate a decision. It's up to the individual to find their faith; you can educate and support, but you cannot threaten or taunt them. Because fear is not faith. And obedience without faith will not end well.

Islam is not about denying freedom to make decisions, is it?

Reply 85

Mary562

2

Original post by samba

I understand the purpose perfectly. You're a devout Muslim and it's your duty and pleasure to 'help' others in the way you believe will keep them on the right path. In this case you feel showing disappointment and throwing around threat of sin will help them most, as well as wanting to educate them with the video.

Which is all fair enough, other than the part where you attempt to manipulate a decision. It's up to the individual to find their faith; you can educate and support, but you cannot threaten or taunt them. Because fear is not faith. And obedience without faith will not end well.

Islam is not about denying freedom to make decisions, is it?

When exactly have I done this?
What has fear got to do with this - "do not fear death; fear Allah. Those who fear death are those who feel that they haven't done enough. Accept the will of Allah and do good deeds, but do not be arrogant or boastful."

Reply 86

Anonymous #3

Original post by miss Peace

I really want to go out with someone in sixth form but because of my religion and culture -I definitely stand no chance of even talking to him

Sis, it's hard for you to see at your age but Islam is a protection for us women, you are honoured and protected by not engaging in haram relationships. Be very careful with making decisions on relationships because it does affect your future, and of course you must take into consideration your parents aswell. I strongly advise you to focus on your studies atm, relationships should be the last thing on your mind now :smile:

and know that iA, you can engage in a beautiful and halal relationship (marriage) when you're responsible and ready

Reply 87

samba

Original post by Mary562

When exactly have I done this?
What has fear got to do with this - "do not fear death; fear Allah. Those who fear death are those who feel that they haven't done enough. Accept the will of Allah and do good deeds, but do not be arrogant or boastful."

You just said, fear Allah...

"you would see the difference of what a real relationship is and what you're thinking of. And I'd like to add that you're still young, at this age everyone's hormones are flying around (if you get me). You need to first think... You rather have a halal relationship than a haraam one which is forbidden. People spend way too much of their youth thinking about such bull****. Dream big about other things and accomplish something real. Your whole life, and especially your youth, is not about you being attached to someone else." - to me that's inducing fear and pressure.

Reply 88

Mary562

2

Original post by samba

You just said, fear Allah...

"you would see the difference of what a real relationship is and what you're thinking of. And I'd like to add that you're still young, at this age everyone's hormones are flying around (if you get me). You need to first think... You rather have a halal relationship than a haraam one which is forbidden. People spend way too much of their youth thinking about such bull****. Dream big about other things and accomplish something real. Your whole life, and especially your youth, is not about you being attached to someone else." - to me that's inducing fear and pressure.

It isn't aimed at you - MAN! or shall I say women?
Well to me it isn't. I'd like to know what she has to say rather than what you have to say
Thanks

Reply 89

porn induced coma

12

Original post by samba

Do you study false dichotomy as a degree or something?

What beliefs are being forced? What part of wanting to make your parents happy is embarrassing? It's fine in a relationship with a significant other if it gets you off but not with your parents?

If somebody [in a world without consequence/punishment] said omg i want so bad to rape that girl but I can't because it'll hurt her but I'm sooooo tempted, you wouldn't be like 'omg go for it, don't let others force their beliefs on you'

You're just intolerant of Islam, believing the beliefs to be 'ancient and flawed' - Your objections have nothing to do with liberty.

So many...

What? Did I say it was embarrassing or are you twisting what I said? Or perhaps you wrongly paraphrased? I would read over what I said again if I were you.

Now, I accept that TSR is a lot of things and it attracts all types but I guess I need to accept that that includes the plain stupid. As we have the ability to think we have the ability to make judgements based upon what we see, yes? If her religion was more personally held she would have mentioned it more, instead of outright saying she is sick of the rules that stop her dating this boy, and it is easy to infer that it is her fear of disappointing her parents is the only reason she follows these rules. We can do this by reading the things she says.

Your qualifier of 'in a world without consequence/punishment' does not make the situations comparable. You are foolish for even proposing to attempting such a comparison. And may I add that the consequences of her dating this boy are imagined. Can you guess why?

Are you denying that Islam is ancient and flawed, because unless you are really ignorant I don't think you would. It wasn't ancient in the 7th century, but it most certainly is now. It was still flawed then though. All those major, monotheistic religions are but we are only talking about Islam right now.

Reply 90

binarythoughts

14

If you're point is that it might not work out, the same could be said, more so, about western couples

Reply 91

OP

thanks for everyone's advice, I think that I should just focus more on my education it would be easier. seeing as love Allah and he has helped in many situations I do want to only make him happy :smile:

Reply 92

ImNotMe

Original post by Plantagenet Crown

Why is is unhelpful? If it doesn't work out she can simply take up her religion again...

''If it doesn't work out''. Meaning she would have gone through a world of hurt and heartbreak, only to return to what she was doing in the first place? Bearing in mind what the poor guy goes through also!

And the alternative, let's imagine it does work out, they would get married yes? Wait a second...isn't that the Islamic way of doing things?

Reply 93

OP

Original post by ImNotMe

''If it doesn't work out''. Meaning she would have gone through a world of hurt and heartbreak, only to return to what she was doing in the first place? Bearing in mind what the poor guy goes through also!

And the alternative, let's imagine it does work out, they would get married yes? Wait a second...isn't that the Islamic way of doing things?

i think this thread is starting a lot of arguments- sorry

Reply 94

ImNotMe

Original post by miss Peace

i think this thread is starting a lot of arguments- sorry

lol, in all seriousness, it's what TSR is made for sister. :smile:

No need to apologise.

Reply 95

OP

aah, you lot are all so nice

Reply 96

RBalboa

15

Don't take your anger out on me because I just gave my opinion.

Reply 97

RBalboa

15

Original post by miss Peace

i think this thread is starting a lot of arguments- sorry

It is because people are taking the subject way too seriously but it isn't your fault that their getting way to emotional over nothing.

Reply 98

OP