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How do teachers react to self harm?

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Original post by Anonymous
I dont mean in terms of telling parents school counsellor etc ect, I mean how do they see you? do they treat you any differently? Would all teachers be told? If anyone has any experience with how people have reacted that would be good.


most will just be supportive and concerned... they wont treat you differently in front of people but their reactions will vary just like anyone else's from constantly checking you're okay to ignoring the situation totally and being very uncomfortable... whether they tell all teachers depends on how they see you as a 'risk' for example all my teachers were told as I used to skip a lot of lessons or just walk out so they were told to prevent me being left alone for long period since obviously if I'd hurt myself badly in school it would look pretty bad if I'd been wandering round alone for 3 hours and no one knew!, but unless you were hurting yourself very severely or admitted you did it at school or something then they probably wouldn't tell other teachers
Lol my teachers don't do anything. Sure they see it but at the end of the day I get good grades and I'm sure they don't want to risk a reduction in the results averages plus I mean who wants to speak about that stuff? Not them.
I think a teatcher at my school knows but has said nothing the a 1 off lesson on self harm I think he is trying to get me to tell him
Reply 23
Know the feeling I don't self harm seriously so I think that asking for help is a waste of people's time and the last thing I want is my family to find out, there like there's to of me the one people know and the true me who's depressed I first self harmed when I was...I'd guess six but I don't remember other than I was young and had no idea what I was actually mum found out and kept telling me to stop I didn't even know why until last year when I started reminiscing I'm now 17 and starting to wonder if I should tell anyone.
My history of moderate self harm is on my school records with my other issues and my teachers are absolutely normal about it. They are slightly more lenient with me sometimes, like if they're a jokey sort of teacher then they won't say anything harsh because I'm a sensitive flower lol.

They also are sympathetic to the fact that sometimes I have to leave class because I'm feeling anxious and starting to freak a bit, I just get up and quietly mention that I got to go to academic support and off I pop.

Telling them is always better than not telling them. If you don't tell them then they can't make sure you're protected from other people or their snarky joke comments that are just a bit of class banter but make you self harm and have a cry at home. If they react badly or aren't confidential and stuff then you can just report them and they can say byyeeee to their teaching career lol
Hi

Well what happend with me was when I tell my teacher that I've done it what he dose its sits me down talkes to me about why it's important not to do it and then he asks me if I want to show him it and then he takes me down to the head teachers office and then we have a big long talk then she'll many phone social services or the hospital or child protection or something then phone my mom and no they don't treat you any differently if your friends find out they probably will but t a hers no they might always want to tak to you though just to make sure your ok and probs get you mental help x
In my personal experience, they leave well alone.

Circa 2005 I was leaving self-injury scars on show (short sleeves) and it was very obvious what I had done., I was so away with it and so naive that I didnt think anyone would know what they were, so it was never an attention seeking thing (it rarely is for anyone anyway).

Most teachers would have a look up and down the arms then move on. "Not for me to be dealing with"
However, there are teachers out there who know and care.
The only teacher in my school that knows is the old designated safeguarding teacher. I'm not sure if the new one knows because he's really quite dim but the other one was incredibly nice about it. He never brought it up randomly and always saw me as more than my SH. But granted, by that time I had already decided to see the school councillor - effectively proving I was of sound mind - so he wasn't obligated to call my parents and I was also over the age of 16 at the time.

In my secondary school I acted as if I was getting help for it if anyone ever saw my old scars. The teachers didn't bother me much once I said that to them and they never checked. Twas a crappy school -_-

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Literally the only teachers that knew when I did self-harm and admitted it were the counselor and school admins, all very supportive, not treated at all differently lol :smile:
Reply 29
Original post by Anonymous
I dont mean in terms of telling parents school counsellor etc ect, I mean how do they see you? do they treat you any differently? Would all teachers be told? If anyone has any experience with how people have reacted that would be good.


In my experience... teachers react in a way that tells you that they are there for you, you'd be surprised how supporting of me mine were people that i though where very strict and in some ways "evil" turned out to be... well normal people. most teachers won't be strictly told but quite often all the teachers will know because well they gossip but honestly it'snt a bad thing... as i said they were very supportive of me and my issues and i was given extensions on projects all sorts of things in order to try and make things less stressful and the best thing of it is that i didnt have to ask them for any of it... they just gave it. now i hope things work out like this for you too x
Original post by ArchRaziel
Literally the only teachers that knew when I did self-harm and admitted it were the counselor and school admins, all very supportive, not treated at all differently lol :smile:


That's true, I was never treated any differently.

I was constantly suspicious of their motive of talking to me from time to time, but I think that was because I was aware they could tell my parents during the early stages of them (school/councillor) finding out. After I got over this fear, however, I grew more comfortable with them knowing. They didn't give me reason to be so worried and assured me that confidentiality wouldn't be broken unless something that I did gave them reason to. They listed these reasons, by the way, so I was never left in the dark.

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Reply 31
Isn't that illegal
i told the head of my year and it was a very recent scar but i asked her not to tell my parents and she said she wouldn't unless she thought i was in allot of danger, she also said i would have to speak to her for like an hour every week just to make sure i was doing okay x x
Original post by Risner0a
Isn't that illegal

Self harm? Nooooo???? :s-smilie::s-smilie::s-smilie:
When I told my physics teacher, he sort of just looked at me trying to figure out why. In the end he asked to see me at the end of the lessen. He sat down and asked me why I would do it. I told him how bad my situation was and he was very considerate. He asked what action I wanted him to take( none at all) so instead we would just talk about it each time I saw him. So it depends on which teacher you wanna tell coz everyone will react differently depending on this personality and how well they know you.
Original post by Anonymous
I dont mean in terms of telling parents school counsellor etc ect, I mean how do they see you? do they treat you any differently? Would all teachers be told? If anyone has any experience with how people have reacted that would be good.


When telling someone in a professional relationship about self harm, they are expected to still act professionally, but their perspective of you will change.

They are more likely to keep an eye on you depending on how severe it was when you showed or told them.

They may ask you to see them on a regular basis to make sure you are ok.

They may get you a councilor for you to talk to and maybe sort out problems you have.

When you show or tell them, they are not allowed to ignore the marks as this is neglecting your care, but if it is dangerous the way you are doing it ect, they may need to report it to someone with more power (your parents) to do something about it.

Normally people are happy to provide bandages for it.
If you self harm and are found on school grounds while in the middle of it, they are more likely going to just ask to see you later as confronting you will more than likely add more stress than its worth.
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 36
I know this is an old post but thought I'd coment as I've just experienced this. I'm
In college and been self harming for around 3 years, I've never told anyone however I slipped up yesterday and managed to roll my sleeves up briefly in front of my teacher. I was amazed at how nice she was, she quietly asked me if I would go into another room to talk to her but didn't have to if I didn't wanted. She then just talked to me, asked me how was and said that she's always there for me to talk to, I was also surprised when she didn't tell me what she thought as such. I know this sounds stupid but she didn't give me this lecture on how I shouldn't do it and I should find alternative ways but just said to be careful and make sure I keep the wounds clean and that when I'm ready if I want help to try and stop she's there and can get help. She doesn't treat me any differently now and if anything it's kind of a relief that someone knows and is there to talk to. Personally my teacher didn't tell anyone else, I wouldn't worry about that. That's my personal experience anyway hope it helped any one concerned x oh and if your worried about telling a teacher you can always say hypertheticaly and pretend it's someone you know, the chances are they will know it's you but they then can't realy say anything to anyone as they don't have proof.
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 37
Well when I first started to cut when I was in year 6, nobody knew and my primary teachers never found out. Then in year 8 I rolled up my jumper sleeves and my history teacher saw cuts and burns on my arm so she asked my to stay behind at the end of the lesson - she was really understanding and as they were only scars she never told anyone else which was maybe wrong but it helped me to trust someone, every other week I had to go and speak to her at a lunch time about how things were, but in class she just treated me like normal. In year 10 my self harming got quite bad and this was when my mum found out and so she told pastoral care, who then informed my form tutor and a few other staff, my form tutor is also my GCSE PE teacher so I had to go in for meetings a lot with her and she was really helpful like she knew when things weren't okay but she never pushed me to say what was wrong. I guess in my experience the teachers who know have treated me really well but that might be because I got on well with them before, but idk
Original post by Anonymous
I dont mean in terms of telling parents school counsellor etc ect, I mean how do they see you? do they treat you any differently? Would all teachers be told? If anyone has any experience with how people have reacted that would be good.


I'd say it depends on their personality, but the teacher who spoke to me about it was great; never judged me or treated me differently, however they did point out that pretty much everyone knew... I appreciated the honesty though :smile:

Hope you're okay?
you know what, i'm sure teachers must have noticed my cuts but i was shy, i guess they saw me as unapproachable, i wasn't a lonely, weird kid but they didn't seem to know how to deal with me. although there was a period of time where i had more obvious cuts and senior staff started asking if i was okay but if i'd had more direct support, i might have felt comfortable opening up.