A friend pointed out that a lot of the time I makes jokes about how I'm feeling rather than actually dealing with how I feel and they're right. I don't know, I guess I do choose to be functional rather than deal with stuff a lot of the time but not sure I have much choice at the minute with uni. Also made me think about how long I'd been using humour as a defence mechanism and I can remember being the same when I started secondary school. Following that through at some point when I was a kid I learnt to not tell people how I was feeling for some reason. Which is rubbish since I'm pretty certain it annoys people. And isn't really helpful in the long run since it feels like it comes down to me not trusting people to not use what I tell them about how I'm feeling against me.
The worrying trend of my posts on this thread to be sarcastic rather than sad probably shows this fairly well.