Mr Disappearing Man: Why do people do it?

Had a MDM situation on my hands a month ago. Just to throw it out there, I'm over the guy and somehow we still 'awkwardly' remain friends. But was wondering just for future referencing.

Why do some people think that pulling a Houdini act is ok? Not just guys, but sometimes girls too. Yes, I have girl friends who do it too.
Wouldn't that just result to an act of a coward? ...Because it's easier to avoid collateral damage? Can't quite put my finger on it. On why do people do that to someone they once were attracted to? Everyone makes it loud and clear when they're interested. But once the interest wears off...silence.

I've read articles all saying that we shouldn't give a damn on why they disappear and just move on. But when is the time to move on? A couple days? weeks? I wouldn't say a day, because it's ok to go M.I.A for a 24 hrs. People need personal time.

I'm not talking about a change in text and call frequency. That's understandable, everybody returns back to their usual lifestyle in a matter of time. But *POOFF!* gone, kinda thing.

What are you're thoughts on this? Have you every pulled a disappearing act on someone? Why?

Reply 1

jazjaz

If someone does a houdini on you or keeps doing it it's usually because a) they are not that into you or the attraction has been killed b) they don't know what they want and are monkey branching from person to person hoping they figure it out someday c) they are sewing their oats or d) one of above plus they met someone new.

Yes I'm a girl and did it when I was younger. Usually because the guys were acting too desperate or showed weakness too early on before we'd established an emotional connection and it killed my attraction towards them. I did my houdinis whilst I was figuring out if I wanted to continue with them or not. I'm much better at communicating this now. But sometimes people need to withdraw into their own space and re-evaulate things... Particularly men sometimes they just need to retire into their 'cave' & need space for a while to reprocess their logical thinking as lust/love can make people act irrationally. There's nothing wrong with that but if they need to do that then they probably just aren't that into you or someone new is on the scene and they are figure out which way to go next. I wouldn't say it's cowardly. It's not nice for the other person admittedly but unless he is your serious long-term boyfriend/fiancé/husband he doesn't really owe you anything anyway.

What's a MDM?

Original post by Juichiro

What's a MDM?

Mr Disappearing Man? Guessing from the title

I had a guy disappear once for a week but at the end of the week he told me he met someone new and was sorry for keeping me hanging. Was angry, but moved on.
I never disappear on anyone. When I'm not interested or lost interest or found someone potentially new, I usually tell the person. I don't really think it's nice to keep someone hanging.
But like jazjaz said

Original post by jazjaz

... he doesn't really owe you anything anyway.

If it's not official or a serious commitment, then it's still not 'real'
Sad but true, hurts but it happens

Reply 4

Juichiro

Original post by liindie

If I was you, I would let his new partner know. If he does it to you, he will do it to her.

Reply 5

liindie

Original post by Juichiro

If I was you, I would let his new partner know. If he does it to you, he will do it to her.

Hahaha, yeah, I should have let her know about me. But at that time I was probably trying to erase his existence from my life so I didn't lash out on his facebook wall. Saw her profile tho, seems like they're still happy together.

Mr Disappearing Man: Why do people do it?

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