How Can I Detach My Emotions From Sex ?
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I know it is. I dont have a problem with prostitution as such, like its non of my business. I dont agree with the "profession" simply because its illegal. Im not saying if it was made legal, id support it i wouldnt. But my problem when people like you claim it to be a good thing. If being a prostitute is a good thing, then what is teaching if being in the prostitute business good? Youre supporting something thst diminishes respectability. You think men who pay women to use their bodies is respecting them? No, they do it cause its easier, convenient and just easy! Men have no shame in it because they arent the ones selling themselves. And i bet you, if you asked the men would they do it, they would say no.
You shouldnt sell your body for sex, you shouldnt do drugs, you should drive ehilst on thr phone. Yet people do. Its sbout the principles and morals, which clearly some people dont have, otherwise they would respect the law.
From the get go, prostitution was no respected from 12th c. Because its just not respectable. I wouldn't respect people who do drugs and i will certainly not respect people who sell their bodies for sex. That's my opinion on it. You dont like that? Well dont respond and move on.
I dont give a crap if you think my opinions are invalid but have a bit of respect that im allowed an opinion just as you are.
You shouldnt sell your body for sex, you shouldnt do drugs, you should drive ehilst on thr phone. Yet people do. Its sbout the principles and morals, which clearly some people dont have, otherwise they would respect the law.
From the get go, prostitution was no respected from 12th c. Because its just not respectable. I wouldn't respect people who do drugs and i will certainly not respect people who sell their bodies for sex. That's my opinion on it. You dont like that? Well dont respond and move on.
I dont give a crap if you think my opinions are invalid but have a bit of respect that im allowed an opinion just as you are.
Original post by The Empire Odyssey
Gumtree, Craiglists and something called CV... You do when you sign up to proper websites and stuff. I get job offers all the time. Although they are all graduate jobs and I'm still in uni!
I very much doubt you "get jobs offered all the time" as if you did then we should have no one out of work with so many jobs around!! Lmao ...
Original post by The Empire Odyssey
I know it is. I dont have a problem with prostitution as such, like its non of my business. I dont agree with the "profession" simply because its illegal. Im not saying if it was made legal, id support it i wouldnt. But my problem when people like you claim it to be a good thing. If being a prostitute is a good thing, then what is teaching if being in the prostitute business good? Youre supporting something thst diminishes respectability. You think men who pay women to use their bodies is respecting them? No, they do it cause its easier, convenient and just easy! Men have no shame in it because they arent the ones selling themselves. And i bet you, if you asked the men would they do it, they would say no.
You shouldnt sell your body for sex, you shouldnt do drugs, you should drive ehilst on thr phone. Yet people do. Its sbout the principles and morals, which clearly some people dont have, otherwise they would respect the law.
From the get go, prostitution was no respected from 12th c. Because its just not respectable. I wouldn't respect people who do drugs and i will certainly not respect people who sell their bodies for sex. That's my opinion on it. You dont like that? Well dont respond and move on.
I dont give a crap if you think my opinions are invalid but have a bit of respect that im allowed an opinion just as you are.
You shouldnt sell your body for sex, you shouldnt do drugs, you should drive ehilst on thr phone. Yet people do. Its sbout the principles and morals, which clearly some people dont have, otherwise they would respect the law.
From the get go, prostitution was no respected from 12th c. Because its just not respectable. I wouldn't respect people who do drugs and i will certainly not respect people who sell their bodies for sex. That's my opinion on it. You dont like that? Well dont respond and move on.
I dont give a crap if you think my opinions are invalid but have a bit of respect that im allowed an opinion just as you are.
I do respect your opinion, and I never said prostitution is a good thing. it's something that you can't get away from in the world. Whether she does or doesn't sell her body to men/women. That is not what he original question was. She mearly asked how to separate feelings...
Well I think that is an impossible question for anyone to answer.. It's all about your own mind set and what you feel is and isn't acceptable to yourself.
The only person that can actually answer her question is herself
If you want to do it. Go for it. I personally can't detatch myself from sex so wouldn't be able to. But it's the oldest trade in the world and if guys are stupid enough to pay for sex, it benefits you and it doesn't harm you psychologically or phsyically. Go for it.
Stay safe. Confide in someone (perhaps look online for other escorts and make a real life friend in one-go for coffee or something) so you can let each other know where you are and at what times and how long the session is booked for so if she doesn't hear anything she can call for help.
Makesure you use protection and get a HepB vaccine anyway just incase from your local GU clinic. Never take a client who can't give you a references.
Stay safe. Confide in someone (perhaps look online for other escorts and make a real life friend in one-go for coffee or something) so you can let each other know where you are and at what times and how long the session is booked for so if she doesn't hear anything she can call for help.
Makesure you use protection and get a HepB vaccine anyway just incase from your local GU clinic. Never take a client who can't give you a references.
As for judgement. It's no ones business so OP do it if you genuinely want to. Put the safe guards in that I mentioned. And remember if you stop at any point you don't EVER have to reveal you past to anyone inc future partners. Everyone has a past and that's where it stays.
Stay safe.
Stay safe.
Original post by bittr n swt
so how on earth did you come across this site then? How did you get to this thread straight away? You do have an account since you only made this account yesterday...
it's divided on here whether escorting is a shameful thing to do
it's divided on here whether escorting is a shameful thing to do
Shame is just a concept, it's not an innate thing. If we all lived in a society where escorts were worshipped and given celebrity status, it was considered the most amazing thing to do, and wearing the colour green was really stigmatised and considered shameful, then people would adhere to that. Personally I would never want to sleep with a prostitute, or porn star, or anything like that, I idealise a cute, innocent, disney type of romance, of two people who love each other being best friends, developing a loving romance over a long period of time, and sharing all their experiences together, losing their virginity to each other. To me that seems really nice rather than one night stands in clubs and stuff, or kids today webcamming each other swapping nudes and stuff. But that's my own opinion and what I like myself. I would be friends with a porn star and I wouldnt shame him or her, but I probably wouldnt want to talk about sex with them either and I'd never want a relationship with them. But I know some people would. Each to their own really.
Original post by Anonymous
As for judgement. It's no ones business so OP do it if you genuinely want to. Put the safe guards in that I mentioned. And remember if you stop at any point you don't EVER have to reveal you past to anyone inc future partners. Everyone has a past and that's where it stays.
Stay safe.
Stay safe.
Thats not true the past doesnt always stay in the past, it often comes up, and it also shapes who we are. Also I hope you are not condoning lying to a partner because I think that's really immoral to trick someone into a relationship and into sex by lying about your past, when you know that if they knew they wouldnt want the relationship. It's similar to rape in my opinion. Because the person only gave consent under false pretences and lies.
I'm confused as to why bitternsweet is posting if he is clearly not hoping to offer any advice relevant to my op.
*reported* i want him banned from this thread.
*reported* i want him banned from this thread.
Original post by wsxcde
Thats not true the past doesnt always stay in the past, it often comes up, and it also shapes who we are. Also I hope you are not condoning lying to a partner because I think that's really immoral to trick someone into a relationship and into sex by lying about your past, when you know that if they knew they wouldnt want the relationship. It's similar to rape in my opinion. Because the person only gave consent under false pretences and lies.
no one has the right to know anything about anyone unless they want to share it or it puts them in phsyical danger
Original post by Anonymous
no one has the right to know anything about anyone unless they want to share it or it puts them in phsyical danger
You have the right to tell someone you dont want to discuss your past. But you dont have the right to lie to someone about it and trick them into a relationship either. Either say you dont want to discuss it, or be honest about it. But If you lie then you have tricked someone's consent.
Original post by Anonymous
no one has the right to know anything about anyone unless they want to share it or it puts them in phsyical danger
And I think lying to a partner, tricking, manipulating them into a relationship and into sex, is a horrible thing to do. You should tell your past honestly to your partner, not be a liar and manipulator. Unless you both agree that you are ok to not talk about your pasts ever and fine never knowing all that could have happened. That is an agreement two people could make.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by wsxcde
And I think lying to a partner, tricking, manipulating them into a relationship and into sex, is a horrible thing to do. You should tell your past honestly to your partner, not be a liar and manipulator.
Original post by wsxcde
You have the right to tell someone you dont want to discuss your past. But you dont have the right to lie to someone about it and trick them into a relationship either. Either say you dont want to discuss it, or be honest about it. But If you lie then you have tricked someone's consent.
at no point did I ever say lie? I said no one had to right to know anything and you don't have to tell anyone should you not want to.
Original post by Anonymous
at no point did I ever say lie? I said no one had to right to know anything and you don't have to tell anyone should you not want to.
If you would work as a prostitute then lie and say "im a virgin" to someone.. or ive only dated one guy before, or any lie ... you have cheated on that person with all the other people you didnt tell them about, manipulated them and taken advantage of their trust in your words. If you want to both agree to never discuss your pasts with each other and both are fine with that then that's the couples choice to stay ignorant of each others pasts on purpose which is fine. You didnt say lie but it seemed like you were implying it was fine to lie about your past to a partner as well. Which I just wanted to point out I find really wrong.
Original post by wsxcde
If you would work as a prostitute then lie and say "im a virgin" to someone.. or ive only dated one guy before, or any lie ... you have cheated on that person with all the other people you didnt tell them about, manipulated them and taken advantage of their trust in your words. If you want to both agree to never discuss your pasts with each other and both are fine with that then that's the couples choice to stay ignorant of each others pasts on purpose which is fine. You didnt say lie but it seemed like you were implying it was fine to lie about your past to a partner as well. Which I just wanted to point out I find really wrong.
thats great but people in adult relationships don't ask for a complete sexual history, or list of previous employment. You accept your partner for who they are with you and realise that everyone has a past.
Original post by Anonymous
thats great but people in adult relationships don't ask for a complete sexual history, or list of previous employment. You accept your partner for who they are with you and realise that everyone has a past.
Its not true that everyone has a past there are plenty of people who dont and plenty who wait until marriage! It's also not true that in every single adult relationship in the world people dont concern themselves with a prospective partners past. Personally I would want a complete sexual history and I'd be prepared to give my complete sexual history also. If someone I would potentially be in a relationship with straight up told me that they dont want to discuss their previous relationships then that's their right to keep it to themselves, and personally I wouldnt want to form a relationship with them but look for someone else in that case. If someone would lie then I would feel really abused by that person because I'd trust that I'm being honest with them and they are with me.
I think anonymous #3 is correct.. If you are in a relationship with someone you either accept their past or you should t be with them..
everyone has a past and people change and should never be judged on the past.
but the original question was not about he past or future, it was a question about feelings now...
everyone has digressed from the actual question...
everyone has a past and people change and should never be judged on the past.
but the original question was not about he past or future, it was a question about feelings now...
everyone has digressed from the actual question...
No offence, but can I be frank with you. If you care about your emotional health, do not do this. I am being very serious...For the fact that you have even asked this question tells me that you do currently associate sex with your emotions. This is normal for you so doing the opposite can be unhealthy as you'd be repressing your emotions.
There's a reason why people who do these kinds of jobs deal with depression, study shows that these women and men later on deal with psychological problems because of the mentally, challenging aspects to these jobs.
There are other jobs to do out there; sleeping around with different men also increases your chances of getting STI's. Yes, there are condoms etc to use but what happens if something goes wrong, if one breaks, even if you were on birth control it doesn't mean that you are fully protected from diseases. I'd be weary because unless you know these men and their sexual histories, you'd be in a risky situation. How do you know that your physical safety is in good hands, there are many reports of prostitutes being murdered by lunatics. Any way, in my opinion, if any guy/girl could hire someone to sleep with them for the night...it says a lot about their sexual history.
Please be smart about this, the money is easy to make but the after-math is extremely difficult to deal with which often leads to emotionally broken people. It's not worth it; my aunt who is a social worker deals with many people whose families are destroyed and affected because a member entered prostitution. An example, recently she has been trying to stop this cycle from continuing in one family. A girl of 13 entered prostitution because it was something her sister who is currently 19 did to become 'rich'. This shows that your decisions impact others. It's sad. Please remember that you only have one body...there are other options.
There's a reason why people who do these kinds of jobs deal with depression, study shows that these women and men later on deal with psychological problems because of the mentally, challenging aspects to these jobs.
There are other jobs to do out there; sleeping around with different men also increases your chances of getting STI's. Yes, there are condoms etc to use but what happens if something goes wrong, if one breaks, even if you were on birth control it doesn't mean that you are fully protected from diseases. I'd be weary because unless you know these men and their sexual histories, you'd be in a risky situation. How do you know that your physical safety is in good hands, there are many reports of prostitutes being murdered by lunatics. Any way, in my opinion, if any guy/girl could hire someone to sleep with them for the night...it says a lot about their sexual history.
Please be smart about this, the money is easy to make but the after-math is extremely difficult to deal with which often leads to emotionally broken people. It's not worth it; my aunt who is a social worker deals with many people whose families are destroyed and affected because a member entered prostitution. An example, recently she has been trying to stop this cycle from continuing in one family. A girl of 13 entered prostitution because it was something her sister who is currently 19 did to become 'rich'. This shows that your decisions impact others. It's sad. Please remember that you only have one body...there are other options.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by wsxcde
so no one is a virgin. People judge their prospective partners on all sorts of things, and different things depending on what they want from a partner. People are allowed to have their own wants and needs, we're all different and can be looking for different things. If someone wants a partner who has no past then that's their right to want that. Judging someone as unsuitable as a partner for you based on their past is fine, but judging someone in a malicious way for their past over letting everyone live their own lives how they want is bad.
How do you mean no one is a virgin???
Original post by Anonymous
I'm thinking of going into sex work part time (just about 8 -10 clients) a week outside of my usual job.
Any tips on how to detatch myself emotionally during sex ? Thank you
Any tips on how to detatch myself emotionally during sex ? Thank you
That's a hard one ( pun intended )
Try thinking about the money or focus on the physical nature of it. Personally I don't think you can force.
Original post by wsxcde
It was response to people saying "everyone has a past", like "so according to you no one is a virgin.."
Oh ok, I see.
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