Could Women Cope With The Amount Of Sexual Rejection Men Cope With ?

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Feminism in western countries are always ****ing ridiculous... Women just want more rights and power over men...
I'm glad that some people on TSR have some sense and question feminism instead of just following the crowd like sheep...

baaa?

Reply 101

435540

Original post by Eveiebaby

now as I enter my 30s, I'm subconciously looking for someone who will make a good long term partner and father.

translation: ive hit the wall and am now looking for my beta bucks.

Reply 102

435540

Original post by Daenerys...

A big reason for why mean get rejected more is because they don't pursue girls that are appropriate for their position, that is, they go for girls that are out of their league. If more men dated girls that were of a similar attractiveness men would report fewer rejections.

I've rejected countless boys/men over the years and it was only because they were less attractive than I or less financially stable.

women are only attracted to men who are better than them. or as you put it out of their own league. if a woman is a 7 she'll expect to date a guy who's a 9.

women perceive their SMV to be far higher than it actually is.

Reply 103

tamerlame

"THe noThe thing with a shotgun approach is that it quickly becomes apparent to the person being approached that they aren't being appreciated as an individual. Knowing that you're being approached for a "result" rather than because someone actually sees something unique about you as a person can make you feel inconsequential... just a number. Noone wants to feel like that."
approuch "
This reply lacks empathy for men and is just female rationalization for their passive privilege If you don't approach women you ever get laid or get a relationship. Your waffle about treating people like individual's is pure rambling justification, for treating men like crap. How do you treat someone as an individual? is a woman who approaches a man for causal sex not treating him like an individual? What are the rules?

If finally got laid when I played the numbers game before that I got time wasted, and friend zoned.

Sexual harassment laws are completely subjective, yet women play it passive and expect men to make the first move. quite disgusting and slopsitic behaviour

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 104

Eveiebaby

Original post by don100

So you boyfriend is 'chill' and you are still not happy ?

I would love these arrogant independent western women to go to Ghana and try giving men the disrespect that they give men over in the UK.

They'd be taken outside and taken care of.

I am happy actually..

So you're legitimizing domestic abuse are you? To keep women in their place, god forsake a woman having her own opinions and taking responsibility for her own happiness.

Reply 105

Eveiebaby

Original post by Dr Pesto

Not if the person approaching is good enough at it.

Most people aren't good at it though are they? Let's be real.
If I find the guy intriguing enough, I'll approach him anyway. I have nothing against approaching, just indiscriminate approaching.

Reply 106

Andy98

Original post by don100

Dude, seriously just because women are allowed their own brain over here doesn't mean they're disrespecting men. In fact it means we can usually talk to them rationally and decide stuff together

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 107

Eveiebaby

Original post by Mike9910

This is a strange sentiment to hold, given men are made distinctive by their testosterone, just like women are made distinctive by their estrogen.

I don't think you will find many men who don't like estrogen driven behavior (and most importantly physical traits), given that's what we are programmed to find attractive.

Then again, you do seem very insecure about your relationships with men (re: your concerns about men cheating on you). I've read less attractive women tend to go for less masculine men in order to reduce their chances of being cheated on.Attractive women, on the whole, tend to go for masculine men.

Women also tend to prefer masculine men when they're at their most fertile.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4261489.stm

"Most women like a feminised face, but those who rated themselves attractive went for the classic masculine face.Feminine faces tend to be linked with stability and caring, scientists said."

My point is that there is a much wider spread of what makes men attractive to women. Our attraction is a lot more layered and complex and less dependent on physical features. You can speak in averages as much as you like, but women aren't even attracted to the same physical traits.

Being an attractive woman does not seem to offer protection against being cheated on if she is subconsciously picking men who have problems with monogamy. Conventionally attractive women are much more likely to date men from a range of physical types as opposed to conventionally attractive men. I've certainly had boyfriends who are completely different visually, but I'm not particularly attracted to really laddish/blokey men. I rate self control, reserve and ability to emotionally connect as most suitable partner traits and I tend to shut down/creeped out guys who direct lustful behavior towards me too early. Because that is not based on meaningful evaluation of the person in front of you, I prefer the sort of layered attraction that is enhanced by experience of knowing someone's character.

I think that it's somewhat dangerous territory to allege that the woman is at fault if their partner cheats (or vice versa). You have to have the maturity to take responsibility for your own behavior or leave the relationship.

Reply 108

Eveiebaby

Original post by Mequa

.........

If you approach a woman from a place of authenticity, it should be reasonably apparent whether you are connecting because the communication needs to be two way. I don't see why people ask for a number/date if they are not picking up enthusiasm or interest from the other person. I think developing this skill is very helpful for guys (and women alike) because then you can minimize and calculate your risk. You ask for the date because there is a mutual connection existing, not because you are trying to impress someone, or you are trying to win someone over. That's already the wrong dynamic.

The types of girls who you mention as not knowing what they want are specifically a problem in very young girls. Extrapolating this to all women is just plain inaccurate.
I know what I want and that hasn't changed in 5+ years. You need a certain self awareness for that, so it's a case of maturity.

Reply 109

Mike9910

Original post by Eveiebaby

Most people aren't good at it though are they? Let's be real.
If I find the guy intriguing enough, I'll approach him anyway. I have nothing against approaching, just indiscriminate approaching.

Indiscriminate approaching doesn't even exist. Men only approach the women they're attracted to. It doesn't make sense that a man would risk rejection approaching a woman he was not attracted to, even if the goal was solely to get another notch on the bedpost.

You can assume if a man does approach you he is attracted to you. Now does that make you special he chose you out of all the other girls he could have approached? Probably not. Men find a good portion of the young, female population attractive, at least for short term relationships.

And how are you going to find a man intriguing (enough to approach) if you've never spoken to him before? Unless "intriguing" is a misnomer for "good looking". You shallow girl, you. :wink:

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 110

Eveiebaby

Original post by resentment.

translation: ive hit the wall and am now looking for my beta bucks.

I'm not that bothered about wealth but I'm not going to put up with someone who's going to leech off me either. I believe men shouldn't put up with leeching too in return for good looking women if they don't want to perpetuate hypergamous behavior.

I've also had this mentality since around 23/24. I don't think it's anything to do with hitting a wall, it's just that it's a far better indicator of the most respectful interest if someone has a long term approach with me. That can only be determined by their attitudes and behaviours around me.

Reply 111

Mike9910

Original post by Eveiebaby

The types of girls who you mention as not knowing what they want are specifically a problem in very young girls. Extrapolating this to all women is just plain inaccurate.
I know what I want and that hasn't changed in 5+ years. You need a certain self awareness for that, so it's a case of maturity.

Women know what they want - even the young ones do. They just don't voice their preferences in case they seem shallow.

It's a gender driven bias I suppose: men are taught to be upfront, women are taught to be less outspoken.

And besides, it's quickly apparent there's a huge disconnect between what people say they like and what their behavior suggests. It's very easy to say things on the internet when you don't have to follow through in real life.

I remember reading this girl's posts on a popular social networking forum yesterday: the topic of discussion was dating and this girl talked about how she liked nerds, and how personality mattered more than looks and how she didn't care about height etc. Then when I clicked on her profile her boyfriend was this hulking 6'2" jock with an arrogant smirk. A few posts back she had stated all her boyfriends had been tall. Really? :confused:

Many women also have taken sociology courses at uni, or high school, and have become obsessed with unpacking social norms, on things like beauty ideals and gender norms, to an unhelpful degree. Just because something is not fair, such as judging someone on their looks, doesn't mean such discrimination doesn't exist. You should analyze the world based on how it exists: the questions as to why things are the way they are, or what things should be like are of little concern to the average person.

Saying looks don't matter because you would prefer a world where looks don't matter is asinine. Many women however try to indulge in this way of thinking.

The result: the statements made by women are often (re: always) confusing and misleading.

It's far more productive to watch what women do and make your judgments of them from that. I would recommend never listening to what women say when it comes to matters of attraction and dating - no offense ladies - but it's true you rarely tell us the truth.

The same advice applies to women I guess. But men are much more easier to interpret since we have less complex concerns when choosing partners.

Reply 112

cole-slaw

Original post by resentment.

strong name to post content ratio

Reply 113

cole-slaw

Original post by Mike9910

Indiscriminate approaching doesn't even exist. Men only approach the women they're attracted to.you.

Mate, you're weird. I approach people all the time. Male, female, young, old, whatever. Its friendly and sociable to chat to people.

If you only approach people specifically because you want to **** them, then I think you have some kind of personality disorder.

Stop saying "men" when what you mean is "I".

Reply 114

Mike9910

Original post by Eveiebaby

I'm not that bothered about wealth but I'm not going to put up with someone who's going to leech off me either.

So you're bothered about wealth?

For instance if you came from an upper class background you would require a wealthy boyfriend if he was not to rely on you when it came to doing activities together.

Of course it would be possible to date a man below your social class, but if the gap is too wide it would be impractical. For instance if you wanted to go on holiday, a working class man might not be able to take time off work to go with you, and certainly the choices available that you could
both afford would be limited.

Now I can't think of many areas of a relationship that are not impacted by the balance of financial power between a couple. It would be crazy not to choose a partner who has a similar social class to you if you wanted an equitable relationship, which you seem to do.

Original post by Eveiebaby

I believe men shouldn't put up with leeching too in return for good looking women if they don't want to perpetuate hypergamous behavior.

Yes but men actually seek these kinds of relationships, after all: the primary purpose of men earning money, beyond subsistence amounts, is to attract a mate. I doubt men would voluntarily be doing 60hour weeks in a sterile, dreary office otherwise. We are happy to trade money for looks in a relationship.

There's nothing wrong with hypergamy either. It seems natural: it's a very good survival strategy for women.

Reply 115

Mike9910

Original post by cole-slaw

I approach people all the time with platonic intentions.

But we're flowing off topic here. If you want to talk about my non-sexual experiences and behaviors feel free to make a topic in the appropriate sub forum and rope me in.

This is a sub forum to talk about dating. My comments should be viewed in this context and not extrapolated. IE if I'm talking about approaches I make then I'm referring to people I have sexual intentions with.

And besides, I don't know who you're replying to, because I never said anything about my own dating life here that would allow you to make assumptions about my personality or mental health.

Reply 116

lsmithers

Men were mere eager to partake in the experiment because they see being a woman as easy. I find it questionable to label the women who refused to partake 'feminists'. The issue of men taking charge in romantic situations in linked to the general power imbalance in society. Feminists want more balance (in that power is organised in a way that both parties find comfortable for them individually) in romantic situations so an actual feminist would have taken on the experiment. But perhaps some further food for thought: could men cope with being disallowed their own bodily autonomy, being called easy if they say yes or a prude if they say no?

Reply 117

Mike9910

Original post by Eveiebaby

Well averages are very important - we can't hope to know intimately everybody we meet, so we have to create averages to help us navigate the world. And yes we use these averages as a lens to see the world through, even if you don't think you do.

From what i've read (and I won't go to the trouble of linking studies, Google if you wish to do your own research), women actually like very similar things in men. Sure women mark men on a wider set of traits, but these attractive traits are ubiquitous in all women's check list of desirable features (EG height, education, money, good looks, social status). The diversity we see in women's preferences are mostly things of peripheral concern, eg. a man's hair color, or the fact he's a vegetarian.

A man who is tall, good looking, educated and wealthy would probably have the same level of general appeal as a beautiful woman would.

As for your second paragraph I mostly agree with you. Given women find attractive a wide set of traits it's easier for them to make compromises. For instance, they can date a rich man who is not good looking and still be happy. Men since they prioritize beauty can't do the same as there's no compensatory value a woman can offer with her other traits.

Reply 118

cole-slaw

Men only approach the women they're attracted to

Original post by Mike9910

I approach people all the time with platonic intentions.

The only way that this is not a logical contradiction is if you are not a man. Is that what you are saying?

Reply 119

Mike9910

Original post by cole-slaw

The only way that this is not a logical contradiction is if you are not a man. Is that what you are saying?

You took two quotes out of context and tried to mash them together to mean something. I'm not sure what you wanted that something to mean.

It sounds like you wanted to make a statement and you don't really need my input.

I'll answer your question anyway to help settle your confusions: I am a man.

As I said this is a dating sub forum so anything I say here would have that implied context.This should help you translate my sentences:

However since you've failed to join the dots I'll do it for you

Men only approach the women they're attracted to [when they're looking for someone to form a relationship with]

What we have here is a situation where the logic wires in your brain have short circuited. There was no logical contradiction in my posts except for the one you confected.

I hope your confusion has now abated. Feel free to ask me more questions if you want me to clarify further points you don't understand. I'm always here to help, mate.

yo

(edited 9 years ago)