I absolutely despise myself and nothing makes it better. I can get temporary relief through getting drunk and sometimes other things like music etc but the self hatred always comes back to ruin my day and on an average day will just be constantly there in the back of my mind. I hate myself for being lazy, fat, ugly, scared for no reason, scarred, avoiding others, being generally annoying. the list goes on. I always thought it was valid and now I have my first boyf and he tells me i'm great and it doesn't make me happy because I feel like he's lying to me but why would he bother with me if he did hate me, so why do I hate me?
I feel like it's just a teen thing but it's affecting my daily life. i'm overeating and undersleeping and self harming