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Am I doing this right? 8 mark qu

This is a practice 8-mark question I have taken from the Understanding Prose past paper, animal farm. (January 2013).

I seem to get no advice from my English teacher, so I am posting my answer on here and I hope someone can give me advice, even if they are a fellow student. What mark would you give this?

Here is my response.

From the extract it is clear that the character Mr Jones is presented as a rather depressed individual. Jones ‘had been a capable farmer’ but recently he had ‘fallen on evil days’. Jones is supposedly down because of ‘losing money on a lawsuit’, and has taken up ‘drinking more than what’s good for him’ in order to try and take away the effect of his ‘disheartening’ losses. The fact that he is so hard up may have a possible link to the ‘underfed’ animals and the ‘maltreating’ of them.

Furthermore, from the extract it is also clear that the character Mr Jones is presented as a lazy individual who cannot be bothered to work and make back his lost money. Jones would ‘lounge whole days at a time‘, where he would spend his time ‘reading the newspapers, drinking.’ The fact that he is so hard up you’d think he’d be working as hard as possible, however by presenting him as a drinker who ignores his duties to the farm we see him as a lacking figure.

Finally, from the extract it is also clear that the character Mr Jones is presented as an irresponsible figure, who clearly is not responsible enough to look after the animals. Mr Jones gets ‘so drunk… that he did not come home until midday on Sunday’. This shows just how irresponsible he is in ignoring his duties just to drink. The animals are shown in the extract as ‘underfed’ and malnourished’, and these highlight the irresponsible abuse from Mr Jones, who obviously cares more for himself than his animals.

ANY ADVICE IS GOOD ADVICE!!!!
Reply 1
Avatar for Olmeister
Olmeister
OP
12
???
Original post by Olmeister
???


Erm you need to have more close analysis. I'm not sure on what the question is but for example when you give the first quotation you need to analysis and explain it. Also does the first quotation link to the point you made of him being depressed? I don't quite think it does.. Perhaps a more suitable quote would have fitted.

From the extract it is clear that the character Mr Jones is presented as a rather depressed individual. This is shown as Jones ‘had been a capable farmer’. The use of the phrase 'capable' implies that he did not try his hardest as a farmer but his work was decent enough. But now he is far from capable and is below that, with his farming skills not being adequate enough.

^^ Something like this perhaps?? It's bar far not the greatest example but something I managed to quickly write without reading the book. I'm not sure either if it makes sense.
Reply 3
Avatar for Olmeister
Olmeister
OP
12
Original post by Samistrawberry
Erm you need to have more close analysis. I'm not sure on what the question is but for example when you give the first quotation you need to analysis and explain it. Also does the first quotation link to the point you made of him being depressed? I don't quite think it does.. Perhaps a more suitable quote would have fitted.

From the extract it is clear that the character Mr Jones is presented as a rather depressed individual. This is shown as Jones ‘had been a capable farmer’. The use of the phrase 'capable' implies that he did not try his hardest as a farmer but his work was decent enough. But now he is far from capable and is below that, with his farming skills not being adequate enough.

^^ Something like this perhaps?? It's bar far not the greatest example but something I managed to quickly write without reading the book. I'm not sure either if it makes sense.


Yes I see your point, however I was told that in the first question there's no need for any analysi
Original post by Olmeister
Yes I see your point, however I was told that in the first question there's no need for any analysi


Ahh, I see. Well sorry I can't be of any help then. I've never done these type of questions before.
Reply 5
Avatar for Olmeister
Olmeister
OP
12
Original post by Samistrawberry
Ahh, I see. Well sorry I can't be of any help then. I've never done these type of questions before.

Don't say that! You've given me things to consider. My teacher said that I needed more perceptive comments. Like your example, but looking at connotation rather than meaning..

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