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21yr with a 14yr old girl. Wrong?

Found out that my 14 yr old sister was sneaking out early morn to meet her bf. He's a 21 yr old guy who is my friend's brother. I know him, he's a natural flirt with most females. Just got shocked when this relationship was found out as they were doing a lot of sneaking around and the age gap concerns us.

Obv my fam is not happy. I feel kind of sickened by it. But are we just over reacting? What are your thoughts?

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Reply 1
No not at all over-reacting. I am more concerned by the fact that the guy isn't the sincere type.
Reply 2
No you aren't over reacting, she's barely teenager who's in a relationship with an adult.
I wouldn't say that you were over reacting. That is a very big age gap, Id be concerned with whether they are doing stuff she wont be ready for, not with a guy that age. I wouldn't be comfortable with it at all.
Yeah, it is a bit seedy but I'd imagine this is just a phase she's going through. As long as she's looked out for it will probably pass soon :smile: xx
I don't like the sound of it. The sound of a 14 y/o girl and a 21 y/o guy makes me think of them in potentially unfair ways, but still concerns me.

A 14 year old girl will want to be with him because "He's so mature, he's older! He's got a job, most guys my own age can't even grow facial hair #immature."
A 21 year old guy will want to be with her because "I'm horny and she wants to seem like a grown up, so she'll do it."

Do you or your mother know who he is if you know his age? If so I'd recommend a serious confrontation. Not necessarily to break them up, but rather make sure he's keeping it in his pants under threat of castration.
Original post by Anonymous
Found out that my 14 yr old sister was sneaking out early morn to meet her bf. He's a 21 yr old guy who is my friend's brother. I know him, he's a natural flirt with most females. Just got shocked when this relationship was found out as they were doing a lot of sneaking around and the age gap concerns us.

Obv my fam is not happy. I feel kind of sickened by it. But are we just over reacting? What are your thoughts?


From a legal perspective it'd be statuatory rape if anything sexual occurred but everyone has their own opinion.

Personally, as the guy is around my age, I could never find a 14 year old attractive or think of one in that way. I just cant really comprehend how he can think of someone so much younger than him in a way that would lead to a relationship. Obviously if the age gap was between a 21 y/o and a 28 y/o it'd be different, your sister is essentially a child. I think at 21 and 14 the priorities are different for people whichever way you look at it and it boils down to whether you and your family believe your sister is old enough to make her own choices when it comes to understanding the age gap, people's perceptions and everything else that this kicks up.
He is going to take advantage of her sooner or later. You should seriously step-up
What sort of 21 year old would go out with a 14 year old!?!

Jesus, that is weird.
He's a dirty pervy sicko, that must be placed on the sex offenders list.
That's a very big age gap - especially as she's only 14. It's a big difference in age and maturity, even if she's very mature for her age, and you have to wonder why a 21 year old feels the need to go out with someone who's barely even a teenager.
Reply 11
This cannot at all be a serious relationship! What kind of man finds a hormonal preteen attractive sexually or romantically. He has some problems.
Reply 12
Not the age gap that's the problem but that guy is a predator he should sit down and have a chat with Chris Hansen lol.
Huh well some girls look older for their age I suppose...
Yes it is wrong. Nothing more about it
Reply 15
The age gap is fine. I mean, there's nothing wrong with dating a person 7 years younger than you IF you are both adults. Like, a 23yrs old girl with a 30yrs old guy is fine.
But she's still a child. It's not correct, and I think you should talk with your friend's brother about it. It can be harmful for both, him and your sister (he may be perceived as pedophile and she may be used by him and will be reluctant to get into relationship again).
Do your best to end it for the sake of both of them
That is creepy :lolwut:
No you're not overreacting AT ALL! In fact it's illegal if they're having a sexual relationship. You and your family need to have stern words with both of them and make it clear that of they don't stop you're going to have to report it to the police.

It's completely inappropriate, she's not even doing her GCSE's yet.
Original post by Phoebe Buffay
Huh well some girls look older for their age I suppose...


May look a year or 2 older... sure...
16 and 21 is still a bit weird...

guy 21 year old with 14 year old child is full blown weird


Reply 19
Original post by Nottie
The age gap is fine. I mean, there's nothing wrong with dating a person 7 years younger than you IF you are both adults. Like, a 23yrs old girl with a 30yrs old guy is fine.
But she's still a child. It's not correct, and I think you should talk with your friend's brother about it. It can be harmful for both, him and your sister (he may be perceived as pedophile and she may be used by him and will be reluctant to get into relationship again).
Do your best to end it for the sake of both of them

Most 14 year olds are developed a pedophile means they have not reached the stage of puberty. Predator is the right word to use.

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