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Going through my folders and weeping softly at how much I still have to do.

Still embarrassed about the sobbing too.

Original post by Airfairy
I got a job interview today for BTEC Business Studies, and I've never studied business in my life. I'm a little confused! I applied for A-Level Economics and they rang me, said they want to shortlist but wanted to warn me it is now BTEC Business. I just said yes without thinking but I am majorly confused why they would shortlist me for something I have zero experience in!

I mean, I am an adaptable person, but this seems a stretch...


There might be quite a bit of crossover. Business is my second subject - I've just sort of absorbed it all.
Original post by ParadoxSocks
Going through my folders and weeping softly at how much I still have to do.Still embarrassed about the sobbing too.


Don't worry, I am the biggest pgce cry baby of them all. I cried loads last week in front of my ITTC about a difficult class.

I have also nearly cried in front of classes a few times when things have been awful. It's a very emotional job and the exhaustion doesn't help - it makes me really wobbly.
(edited 8 years ago)
Had my first at school cry today. I know it's a rite of passage.

I was crying so much I couldn't teach my lesson because I couldn't stop. Had to tell the other trainee to let my mentor know I needed to be on my own.

It's all because of one stupid class that have made me feel like total crap. I hate them so much.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 6183
Original post by Airfairy
Had my first at school cry today. I know it's a rite of passage.

I was crying so much I couldn't teach my lesson because I couldn't stop. Had to tell the other trainee to let my mentor know I needed to be on my own.

It's all because of one stupid class that have made me feel like total crap. I hate them so much.

Posted from TSR Mobile


What happened? My mentor told me children cannot only bully other children but they can bully the teacher too if they find something to target.
Reply 6184
Original post by Carnationlilyrose
Very well put. When you are actually doing the job, you will be appalled that the very people who tell you to be encouraging to the kids can be like Hitler to the staff. They are often the same ones who will spend an entire INSET day exhorting you to use some exciting and innovative teaching methodology by the method of standing there and lecturing you.


I have seen this myself - one of the girls on my course has several young kids and as well as being a full time mother and wife she's training to become a teacher, her mentor expects lesson plans to be in a week before they're due then sends them back correcting her mistakes for her to send back and this cycle continues at least 3-4 times. The girl in question sat on her chair once (in the staff room) and she EXPLODED! How dare she sit on my chair! 'MY' chair, then she says you're not allowed to take equipment home because I don't trust you. Like we've paid 9K in fees to steal stuff - seriously?

This is the worst case of 'mentor' I have ever seen, makes my bad experiences seem okay, but poor girl she's got through it and the end is near.

We name these people TORMENTORS! (pun intended) Seriously hope they see the error of their ways, though I never wish bad upon anyone some people need it to be slapped in their face.
Original post by Sam89
What happened? My mentor told me children cannot only bully other children but they can bully the teacher too if they find something to target.


I just can't control them at all and they feed on it. My mentor has given me tips but nothing is working. Worse still, I was on track for a 1 but my mentor said I can't get a 1 if I can't control this class.

My behaviour management is normally based on my strong relationship with the pupils, which is said to be one of my strengths. But I hate this class and they hate me, so I can't build up a relationship with a class so unlikable, meaning I've lost my key strength here.

It sounds pathetic to cry over a class. I just feel they are holding me back and making me realise how crap I am.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Airfairy
I just can't control them at all and they feed on it. My mentor has given me tips but nothing is working. Worse still, I was on track for a 1 but my mentor said I can't get a 1 if I can't control this class.

My behaviour management is normally based on my strong relationship with the pupils, which is said to be one of my strengths. But I hate this class and they hate me, so I can't build up a relationship with a class so unlikable, meaning I've lost my key strength here.

It sounds pathetic to cry over a class. I just feel they are holding me back and making me realise how crap I am.

Posted from TSR Mobile


I could have written this post, and I'm an NQT! Today I cried at lunch because of my y9's who I hate. They hate me. Like you, my strength during my PGCE and this year was creating a strong relationship with my classes. I don't have one inch of a relationship with this class and today was 1 hour of pure hell with them. No constructive advice but I do feel your pain! xx
I have two weeks to go and its going to be a hard slog of two weeks, i feel like theres so much to do still!!!
Original post by Sam89
I have seen this myself - one of the girls on my course has several young kids and as well as being a full time mother and wife she's training to become a teacher, her mentor expects lesson plans to be in a week before they're due then sends them back correcting her mistakes for her to send back and this cycle continues at least 3-4 times. The girl in question sat on her chair once (in the staff room) and she EXPLODED! How dare she sit on my chair! 'MY' chair, then she says you're not allowed to take equipment home because I don't trust you. Like we've paid 9K in fees to steal stuff - seriously?

This is the worst case of 'mentor' I have ever seen, makes my bad experiences seem okay, but poor girl she's got through it and the end is near.

We name these people TORMENTORS! (pun intended) Seriously hope they see the error of their ways, though I never wish bad upon anyone some people need it to be slapped in their face.


I feel very sad that this has been your experience. In my years as a mentor, I really hope I never forgot how it felt to be a trainee. It has to be said that the choice of subject mentor is not always the most suitable one to do the job but often the one with a short timetable or the loudest voice or some other factor. It's a difficult job to do well, and I gave it up when I felt I wasn't doing it well enough. There's no excuse for being anything other than totally supportive. It's a hard enough profession once you've qualified, so making people's life hell before they enter it smacks of lashing out at someone as a form of displacement activity. I know for sure that if I was starting out again now, I wouldn't get through the PGCE and I don't think I'd actually want to.
Original post by outlaw-torn
I could have written this post, and I'm an NQT! Today I cried at lunch because of my y9's who I hate. They hate me. Like you, my strength during my PGCE and this year was creating a strong relationship with my classes. I don't have one inch of a relationship with this class and today was 1 hour of pure hell with them. No constructive advice but I do feel your pain! xx


Well it's nice to know I'm not alone, but I'm sorry you're feeling the same. It's not a nice feeling. When you are in that lesson there's a trademark feeling you get when you know it's going badly and it's awful. You just want to crawl into a hole and not come out - but no, you've got to endure that awful feeling for the whole lesson.
I need advice on this though. What do I do?

I have a class on year 8s who aren't naughty, but there is CONSTANT background chatter and I can't get them to shut up. The problem is there are too many who are doing this to use my usual methods. My mentor told me that writing names on the board and pinpointing them won't work because it is about 80% of the class who are talking. I can't keep them all in either because that punishes the 20%. Whenever I get them quiet it literally is noisy again after seconds. Nothing I say or do will get them to be quiet. What do I do?

I saw my mentor teach them for one lesson today and they were fine for her yet she does nothing different. I am convinced I just don't have chemistry with this class and that the lack of relationship means I'm never going to be able to control them. Is this true?

I've tried everything my mentor has said but it is hard to do on a class wide basis. She tells me to state the obvious - "you're talking over me", but I can't say that to the whole class because it means nothing. It is good for just one but not all. Then things like moving around the class when trying to get them quiet because they need a physical presence - made no difference. Competition with points on desks today - made no difference.
It is difficult but it really is about building an ethos of mutual respect which is really hard for a student teacher to achieve, especially if it has gone on for a wee while. Rewarding good behaviour does work but it can take time to establish. Is your mentor in when you teach to observe and give feedback as that would be most useful really?

Are you really clear and pointed with your learning intentions and success criteria so they know exactly what they are learning and if they are succeeding as that is really useful too as it can motivate them? Make sure it is something achievable within the one lesson are are active and interesting. For example I wanted a class to hold a debate so I mocked up a newspaper article saying that they were going to use wave power on the coast at the beach and the beach would be closed all summer. They were livid and really motivated. I did tell them before at the end of the lesson , after pointing out how they had been really successful, that I had made it up!

Hope this helps...


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Airfairy
I need advice on this though. What do I do?

I have a class on year 8s who aren't naughty, but there is CONSTANT background chatter and I can't get them to shut up. The problem is there are too many who are doing this to use my usual methods. My mentor told me that writing names on the board and pinpointing them won't work because it is about 80% of the class who are talking. I can't keep them all in either because that punishes the 20%. Whenever I get them quiet it literally is noisy again after seconds. Nothing I say or do will get them to be quiet. What do I do?

I saw my mentor teach them for one lesson today and they were fine for her yet she does nothing different. I am convinced I just don't have chemistry with this class and that the lack of relationship means I'm never going to be able to control them. Is this true?

I've tried everything my mentor has said but it is hard to do on a class wide basis. She tells me to state the obvious - "you're talking over me", but I can't say that to the whole class because it means nothing. It is good for just one but not all. Then things like moving around the class when trying to get them quiet because they need a physical presence - made no difference. Competition with points on desks today - made no difference.


It really is difficult to get a handle on them when they're not really 'yours' and they know it. There will always be classes you just don't click with, and you will spend all your time hating them just as much as they hate you.

With low level background chatter with one of my classes. I took about 30 minutes of a lesson once and lectured them on their poor manners and lack of respect. They don't like being told they are 'bad people'. I explained the implications of their noise and the impact this has on other people and that their downright selfishness is not appropriate for the classroom. Rather than being angry with them, a hurt/ disappointed approach worked better for me. I then implemented an "I will warn the entire class 3 times about noise levels, on the third warning you work in silence" plan.

Or you do a 10 min plenary in which they right down the classroom rules they think should be implemented. They hand this in, you sift through and come up with 5 basic rules from what they have written. You start afresh next lesson and punish them by their own rules.

Other than that, put a stopwatch on the board and press start every time they start talking and inform them that that is time they owe you.

Or pit them against each other for a reward of leaving the classroom first (works well before lunch or end of day). I do girls vs boys. Naming names and liberally adding points to the other side gets mine pretty angry with each other.

Or a simple, "the next person to interrupt me comes back at lunchtime".

Or you put them in silence for an entire lesson and give them nothing but boring crap to do and tell them you won't be teaching them properly until you think you can trust them enough. That their behaviour has FORCED you to do this to them. Anybody speaks and the sanction is applied immediately. (Mentor might not like this idea lol) This one really worked for the class I mentioned above, with permission from my hod. Now I need only say "oh, perhaps we need some silence for the next task?" and they shut up quick.

Or you kill them with kindness. You thank those who are doing as you have asked. You shower them with praise and ignore the rest. You have the list of activities for the lesson on the board as they enter with some nice "work with a person of your choice" for a 10 min task or a wandering around scavenger hunt and take away their privilege of doing this if they can't be respectful enough to listen to your instructions. Some of mine respond well to being given that bit of extra freedom, (even though I'm hesitant to give it to them because they're too noisy) and they then respond well to the next task.

And a final thing I'm guilty of (having lots of year 9 in the final period of the day) is giving them a good 5 minutes to get in and get their stuff out and say everything that needs to be said before I ask for quiet. Don't try and get them to be quiet before they're all sat down with their stuff out.


Depends on your kids and school overall, really. I don't think I work in a particularly 'good' nor 'bad' school, but they certainly understand the value of respect and don't want to be told that they are disrespectful. It has taken me months and months to be satisfied with the relationship I have with some of my classes. Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't get there with them.
Original post by Airfairy
I need advice on this though. What do I do?I have a class on year 8s who aren't naughty, but there is CONSTANT background chatter and I can't get them to shut up. The problem is there are too many who are doing this to use my usual methods. My mentor told me that writing names on the board and pinpointing them won't work because it is about 80% of the class who are talking. I can't keep them all in either because that punishes the 20%. Whenever I get them quiet it literally is noisy again after seconds. Nothing I say or do will get them to be quiet. What do I do?I saw my mentor teach them for one lesson today and they were fine for her yet she does nothing different. I am convinced I just don't have chemistry with this class and that the lack of relationship means I'm never going to be able to control them. Is this true?I've tried everything my mentor has said but it is hard to do on a class wide basis. She tells me to state the obvious - "you're talking over me", but I can't say that to the whole class because it means nothing. It is good for just one but not all. Then things like moving around the class when trying to get them quiet because they need a physical presence - made no difference. Competition with points on desks today - made no difference.


I really can relate to this. I have a similar dilemma. They're year 8s and they just don't respect me. With their usual teacher they are a nice group, but as soon as I am left alone they just don't shut up. I can't get anything done and I always struggle to plan because I feel I can't control them enough to do the things I want with them. It sounds awful to say 'we hate each other' but that is how it really feels to me. When I leave I will be glad not to see them ever again. I'm less intimidated by my year 10s than this class.
Original post by Grant2007
It is difficult but it really is about building an ethos of mutual respect which is really hard for a student teacher to achieve, especially if it has gone on for a wee while. Rewarding good behaviour does work but it can take time to establish. Is your mentor in when you teach to observe and give feedback as that would be most useful really?

Are you really clear and pointed with your learning intentions and success criteria so they know exactly what they are learning and if they are succeeding as that is really useful too as it can motivate them? Make sure it is something achievable within the one lesson are are active and interesting. For example I wanted a class to hold a debate so I mocked up a newspaper article saying that they were going to use wave power on the coast at the beach and the beach would be closed all summer. They were livid and really motivated. I did tell them before at the end of the lesson , after pointing out how they had been really successful, that I had made it up!

Hope this helps...


Posted from TSR Mobile

Thanks for this. Yes she observes and gives useful advice but I think she just doesn't realise that if I copy her tactics they aren't necessarily going to work because the kids know I'm new.

I do know what you mean by learning objectives. They are bottom set, and they are often clueless and it can be hard to tell them what we are doing and explain it when they won't even listen. I think they lack confidence so get distracted easily because they don't believe they can do the work. Perhaps a lesson aimed at building confidence would work well first.

And yes, topical lessons that get them motivated are useful. They are an opinionated bunch. Sadly the current unit doesn't lend itself well to that...

Original post by rachel.h
It really is difficult to get a handle on them when they're not really 'yours' and they know it. There will always be classes you just don't click with, and you will spend all your time hating them just as much as they hate you.

With low level background chatter with one of my classes. I took about 30 minutes of a lesson once and lectured them on their poor manners and lack of respect. They don't like being told they are 'bad people'. I explained the implications of their noise and the impact this has on other people and that their downright selfishness is not appropriate for the classroom. Rather than being angry with them, a hurt/ disappointed approach worked better for me. I then implemented an "I will warn the entire class 3 times about noise levels, on the third warning you work in silence" plan.

Or you do a 10 min plenary in which they right down the classroom rules they think should be implemented. They hand this in, you sift through and come up with 5 basic rules from what they have written. You start afresh next lesson and punish them by their own rules.

Other than that, put a stopwatch on the board and press start every time they start talking and inform them that that is time they owe you.

Or pit them against each other for a reward of leaving the classroom first (works well before lunch or end of day). I do girls vs boys. Naming names and liberally adding points to the other side gets mine pretty angry with each other.

Or a simple, "the next person to interrupt me comes back at lunchtime".

Or you put them in silence for an entire lesson and give them nothing but boring crap to do and tell them you won't be teaching them properly until you think you can trust them enough. That their behaviour has FORCED you to do this to them. Anybody speaks and the sanction is applied immediately. (Mentor might not like this idea lol) This one really worked for the class I mentioned above, with permission from my hod. Now I need only say "oh, perhaps we need some silence for the next task?" and they shut up quick.

Or you kill them with kindness. You thank those who are doing as you have asked. You shower them with praise and ignore the rest. You have the list of activities for the lesson on the board as they enter with some nice "work with a person of your choice" for a 10 min task or a wandering around scavenger hunt and take away their privilege of doing this if they can't be respectful enough to listen to your instructions. Some of mine respond well to being given that bit of extra freedom, (even though I'm hesitant to give it to them because they're too noisy) and they then respond well to the next task.

And a final thing I'm guilty of (having lots of year 9 in the final period of the day) is giving them a good 5 minutes to get in and get their stuff out and say everything that needs to be said before I ask for quiet. Don't try and get them to be quiet before they're all sat down with their stuff out.


Depends on your kids and school overall, really. I don't think I work in a particularly 'good' nor 'bad' school, but they certainly understand the value of respect and don't want to be told that they are disrespectful. It has taken me months and months to be satisfied with the relationship I have with some of my classes. Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't get there with them.

Wow thanks for all this advice. Much appreciated!

With the lecture you gave your class, I did that to them earlier in the week and got told it was a bad move because they don't care if they are rude or disrespectful. My mentor wrote on my notes 'so what?', which is quite accurate for this class because they couldn't care less. They know they are disrespectful and rude and pointing it out sadly makes no difference. I wish I had kids who did care about that!

I love the stopwatch thing, I've used it in the past and forgot about it to be honest. The absolute pain is that I mostly have them at the end of the day and I'm not allowed to keep them back at all because of buses :angry: . I think telling them to come back at break the next day won't work. Most won't turn up and then I'll have to push it further for something that didn't need to go that far, if that makes sense. So that is really irritating. I do have a couple of lunch time lessons I can make use of that with though.

Competitions are something I need to put some thought into more. The class is 80% boys and obviously they love a bit of competition. It is finding something effective because I have tried a couple and it hasn't influenced them as much as I'd like. I give sweets out at the end for the table that got the most points and they get really annoyed then that they didn't get sweets, but they still don't try harder to actually get them!

Thanks for all your pointers though. I am definitely going to try and adapt some for my class. I need to start thinking creatively.

Original post by bonniex123
I really can relate to this. I have a similar dilemma. They're year 8s and they just don't respect me. With their usual teacher they are a nice group, but as soon as I am left alone they just don't shut up. I can't get anything done and I always struggle to plan because I feel I can't control them enough to do the things I want with them. It sounds awful to say 'we hate each other' but that is how it really feels to me. When I leave I will be glad not to see them ever again. I'm less intimidated by my year 10s than this class.

Again, it is nice to know I am not alone. I feel the same about my year 10s. They are hard work but I feel like I can talk to them like adults more. These year 8s are just stupid and it's like talking to a brick wall.

Am I right in saying you're a trainee too? Has your mentor commented on your year 8 class?
Original post by Airfairy

Wow thanks for all this advice. Much appreciated!

With the lecture you gave your class, I did that to them earlier in the week and got told it was a bad move because they don't care if they are rude or disrespectful. My mentor wrote on my notes 'so what?', which is quite accurate for this class because they couldn't care less. They know they are disrespectful and rude and pointing it out sadly makes no difference. I wish I had kids who did care about that!

I love the stopwatch thing, I've used it in the past and forgot about it to be honest. The absolute pain is that I mostly have them at the end of the day and I'm not allowed to keep them back at all because of buses :angry: . I think telling them to come back at break the next day won't work. Most won't turn up and then I'll have to push it further for something that didn't need to go that far, if that makes sense. So that is really irritating. I do have a couple of lunch time lessons I can make use of that with though.

Competitions are something I need to put some thought into more. The class is 80% boys and obviously they love a bit of competition. It is finding something effective because I have tried a couple and it hasn't influenced them as much as I'd like. I give sweets out at the end for the table that got the most points and they get really annoyed then that they didn't get sweets, but they still don't try harder to actually get them!

Thanks for all your pointers though. I am definitely going to try and adapt some for my class. I need to start thinking creatively.



You're welcome :smile: The only true advice one can give on behaviour management is that you just gotta keep ploughing on. As for the competition, getting the ringleaders involved first is the key to cracking them. Get them into it and the sheepy ones should follow. And if you have them at the end of the day like I do, maybe the winners can leave first. Then the second team/ third etc. The losers have to put all the chairs up, or collect dictionaries in or something.

Literally any time you have them just before lunch, you have them over a barrel. Put their name on the board and then just keep adding minutes. The minutes go too many for lunchtime detention, fine.... they've earned an after school.

Like I say, I'm still going... Teenagers are like unexploded bombs. You never know what they'll do next.
Original post by rachel.h
You're welcome :smile: The only true advice one can give on behaviour management is that you just gotta keep ploughing on. As for the competition, getting the ringleaders involved first is the key to cracking them. Get them into it and the sheepy ones should follow. And if you have them at the end of the day like I do, maybe the winners can leave first. Then the second team/ third etc. The losers have to put all the chairs up, or collect dictionaries in or something.

Literally any time you have them just before lunch, you have them over a barrel. Put their name on the board and then just keep adding minutes. The minutes go too many for lunchtime detention, fine.... they've earned an after school.

Like I say, I'm still going... Teenagers are like unexploded bombs. You never know what they'll do next.

Yeah, I know what you mean. What is really annoying with this class is that they are on a carousel, so I have them for three weeks and then get a new class and never see them again. So it sometimes feels that as soon as I start to get a grip on them I lose them and get a new class!

One thing I forgot to mention actually is that my mentor has told me that I need to pick one pupil, take them outside and completely let loose on them, just loud enough so the class can hear so it establishes my authority. But I've been totally honest with her and told her I don't think I can do that. I am just not comfortable with one to one screaming with kids. Not yet anyway. And if that makes the difference between a grade 1 or 2 for me then so be it.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Airfairy
Yeah, I know what you mean. What is really annoying with this class is that they are on a carousel, so I have them for three weeks and then get a new class and never see them again. So it sometimes feels that as soon as I start to get a grip on them I lose them and get a new class!

One thing I forgot to mention actually is that my mentor has told me that I need to pick one pupil, take them outside and completely let loose on them, just loud enough so the class can hear so it establishes my authority. But I've been totally honest with her and told her I don't think I can do that. I am just not comfortable with one to one screaming with kids. Not yet anyway. And if that makes the difference between a grade 1 or 2 for me then so be it.


Yup, making an example of one of them works too. I'd do it in the classroom, but that's me. And I'd have to be sure it was a kid who wouldn't want to show off and walk out. Plus, you can absolutely blast some kids and they'll just stare back blankly because it's what they're used to. That sounds vile, but it is an unfortunate reality.

Your call. Make sure every lesson starts afresh and you aren't expecting (even though you are) any background chatter. You could also get involved in the conversation as they get their stuff out , so their attention is on you as you end the conversation and start the lesson. I have some year 8 lads I've gotten on side that way.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Maybe ask to try a stand alone lesson to grab their interest...? A building confidence lesson might work too. Don't give up, you are nearly there... Once you have your own classes it is totally different.


Posted from TSR Mobile
I had a bad group at to establish my authority i said i was fed up with the behaviour of this class so they were now on a short leash. They had 2 warnings and then they would get a half hour after school detention. Their name went up on the board for the first warning, got a tick for the second and a line through it when they got the detention. I made a show of waving the printed out sheets at them to show i was prepared to write them up there and then.
the first lesson there were 3 detentions and 2 close calls, 2nd lesson 1 detention and 2 close calls...now, they enter in total silence and i usually just have to issue a single warning to the worst characters. They had a relapse the other week with 2 detentions and one of those continued to push me so i just relocated them to the head of department, they quickly remembered to behave.

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