The Student Room Group

If a person in a relationship has an affair with a single person

do you believe that the single person is also in the wrong?

Why / why not?

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Reply 1
why would you do that in the first place tbh?
Original post by Scenekid
why would you do that in the first place tbh?


That's not what the question is asking.
And, for clarification, I am not doing anything.
Reply 3
Original post by iammeyouareyou
That's not what the question is asking.
And, for clarification, I am not doing anything.


yeah i know, i meant why would anyone do that, i never said you did
both fgts
Original post by Scenekid
yeah i know, i meant why would anyone do that, i never said you did


Many people have affairs. I know a woman who has been with her partner for around 8 years. She admitted that he already had a girlfriend when the pair of them initially got together. She said that she did not feel guilty as there were no children involved and she was not the one who was cheating.
Both are in the wrong. However, ultimately the person in the relationship is the most to blame. You are not responsible for anyone else's moral compass- having said that, still makes you a nasty piece of work if you sleep with someone you know to be in a relationship.
Unless the single person is unaware that the cheater is in a relationship, they are both to blame and equally ****ed.
Both as bad as each other if the single person knows, imo.
Probably biased because I was a mistress for 2 years before becoming the girlfriend (inb4 'if he cheated with you he'll cheat on you and you'll deserve it etc') but I think the person in a relationship is the one who's really morally in the wrong. Sure it's not great to be sleeping with someone who's with someone else (although emotionally I'd say the heartache and associated general misery the other woman goes through makes her the one who probably suffers the most out of the three), but you're not the one who has commitments to be upholding.
Depends if the person who is single knows about the other person being in a relationship or not.. if he/she does then they're both in the wrong..
Reply 11
I think it is the person in the relationship that takes most of the responsibility for the skulduggery. This said mate poaching, particularly if you know the person you're doing it to, is not particularly honourable.
Nothing wrong at all.
Don't think the single person is in the wrong unless he's friends with the cheater's partner. I mean, if it wasn't you they'd probably cheat with someone else anyway.
Yes they are in the wrong. Don't be a home wrecker.
Depends.

A. Did this single person know the person in a relationship was in a relationship?
B. Was said person unhappy in his/her relationship?
C. Who came onto who?

So many questions...
Morally, they're both in the wrong, but the person with someone else is more immoral, in my opinion, since he/she's the one actually doing the cheating :smile: xx
The single person is not to blame. If someone is in a relationship, they should be the person to say no - the single person has no responsibility towards the other person's partner (unless they're friends). You can't force someone to cheat and it's entirely your fault if you do.
Reply 18
Original post by Anonymous
Probably biased because I was a mistress for 2 years before becoming the girlfriend (inb4 'if he cheated with you he'll cheat on you and you'll deserve it etc') but I think the person in a relationship is the one who's really morally in the wrong. Sure it's not great to be sleeping with someone who's with someone else (although emotionally I'd say the heartache and associated general misery the other woman goes through makes her the one who probably suffers the most out of the three), but you're not the one who has commitments to be upholding.


I guess my question would be: what's so wrong with your self esteem that you were willing to let someone keep you on the side while they were going home to someone else for two years? Also, how can you trust them when you know they can sustain a lie to someone so close to them for such a long time?

Oh and to answer the question, both are in the wrong if the outsider is aware that the other is in a couple. But I'd place more blame on the cheat.
(edited 8 years ago)
The single person is just as much to blame if they know that the person is in a relationship. There's just no need for cheating and I love how cheaters on this website always post annonymously. p****es.

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