The Student Room Group

Is your heart in your vagina?

If you haven't heard the expression, it basically applies to girls who will have casual sex with someone and fall for them instantly.
I've had very good sexual partners and not felt a thing for them at all afterwards, and very bad ones where I have become so infatuated with them I've lost sleep. And vice versa, so I don't think it is the skill that does it.
So basically, (girls) do you fall for guys you've slept with easily? Or do you keep sex and love separate?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
What a gross expression

it depends on the person, if I'm gonna like them I'll like them regardless of whether we've had sex
Reply 2
Lol what the hell.

I've only slept with one man who I was in love with.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 3
Are you sure you haven't made this saying up?

I mean what in the nine-hells is the male equivalent? Although I suppose that explains the throbbing...
Reply 4
I believe the closest male expression is along the lines of 'thinking with your dick'
*Never heard of the expression

Many girls, but certainly not all, have sex because the are hoping for the bond that, in the best case scenario, occurs in a sexual relationship. I don't have many friends who hook up for the sake of hooking up. But, I have many friends who will have sex with a guy if they think there is 'more to it'. Even if they are kidding themselves they are hoping a relationship develops. You read it here all the time. So, yes, to some extent the 'saying' is true.

The guy expression is true to, btw!! ;-) (kidding)
Reply 6
Original post by A5ko
Are you sure you haven't made this saying up?

I mean what in the nine-hells is the male equivalent? Although I suppose that explains the throbbing...


It's a real saying, Google confirms this :smile:
Reply 7
I've heard of this expression from grey's anatomy. I like to think that my heart is where it should be. I am able to separate feelings from sex but, like everyone, I had a few slip ups and became 'infatuated'


Posted from TSR Mobile
my heart is in your vagina, so yes :smile:
hmm.. I'd definitely have to say that I'd have to at least like the person in some way before sleeping with them. Like, I've never had a one night stand with someone I've just met - I've only slept with people I have previously talked to and deemed nice enough to have sex with me. That being said, there are people I've slept with who I have felt no romantic connection with afterwards, and others who I have wanted to date and one who I even fell in love with (but that was after months of regular sex with said person). I can't really say what it is that makes one person different to the other.. sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesnt!
Reply 10
Original post by ansz28
I've heard of this expression from grey's anatomy. I like to think that my heart is where it should be. I am able to separate feelings from sex but, like everyone, I had a few slip ups and became 'infatuated'


Posted from TSR Mobile


I know the feeling. How did the infatuation turn out? Did it turn into a relationship?

Original post by Zeldaintheflesh
hmm.. I'd definitely have to say that I'd have to at least like the person in some way before sleeping with them. Like, I've never had a one night stand with someone I've just met - I've only slept with people I have previously talked to and deemed nice enough to have sex with me. That being said, there are people I've slept with who I have felt no romantic connection with afterwards, and others who I have wanted to date and one who I even fell in love with (but that was after months of regular sex with said person). I can't really say what it is that makes one person different to the other.. sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesnt!


This is interesting. Did things work out between you and the guy you fell inlove with?
I think that it must be the spark that makes them different. Ive had sex with guys I find incredibly attractive and thought I really liked them, and felt absolutely nothing for them. Then Ive only gone as far as kissing a guy and been genuinely left speechless.
Original post by grapes12
This is interesting. Did things work out between you and the guy you fell inlove with?
I think that it must be the spark that makes them different. Ive had sex with guys I find incredibly attractive and thought I really liked them, and felt absolutely nothing for them. Then Ive only gone as far as kissing a guy and been genuinely left speechless.


No, it didn't. He said he wasn't looking for a relationship but "if i wanted a girlfriend then you would be exactly what i was looking for". I just find it so weird how sometimes you can separate yourself from it and other times you cant...
Yeah, I can relate to the kissing thing as well.. it's strange how things work!
Reply 12
Original post by Zeldaintheflesh
No, it didn't. He said he wasn't looking for a relationship but "if i wanted a girlfriend then you would be exactly what i was looking for". I just find it so weird how sometimes you can separate yourself from it and other times you cant...
Yeah, I can relate to the kissing thing as well.. it's strange how things work!


That's really sad :frown: I'm sorry it didn't work out
I know what you mean, maybe it is the frame of mind we are in when we enter the relationship or sexual encounter?
aka friends with benefits gone wrong?
Original post by grapes12
If you haven't heard the expression, it basically applies to girls who will have casual sex with someone and fall for them instantly.
I've had very good sexual partners and not felt a thing for them at all afterwards, and very bad ones where I have become so infatuated with them I've lost sleep. And vice versa, so I don't think it is the skill that does it.
So basically, (girls) do you fall for guys you've slept with easily? Or do you keep sex and love separate?

You...really need to take some classes in psychology. Not because you're crazy :nah: but because all your answers for female sexology are there :yy:

I can tell you a little bit. Everyone is different, yes, but our functions are all the same. Sex drive naturally empowers people to look for partners, and then:

"Dr. Fisher: Having sex can trigger love—probably because after orgasm, there’s a peak in dopamine activity. So watch out if you casually bed down with someone—you might unintentionally fall for them."

:yy: Idk anyone who doesn't know this but I felt posting a quote from a professional would suffice.
I actually vaguely know what you're talking about.

I can normally just have sex and forget about it (I'm not a slut I swear, I just am not wanting a relationship right now, I'm 18 and have only slept with like 5 guys total).

However I went on holiday and slept with a guy from uni, having never spoken to each other before, I don't know how it happened it was the weirdest thing, I do not even remember going to his room we were so black out drunk, our roommates were sleeping together so I guess it just sort of was somewhere for me to stay. All I remember is waking up the next morning naked in bed cuddled up with him, and now I can't stop thinking about him. I wouldn't say I was "infatuated with him" just intrigued?
Original post by grapes12
If you haven't heard the expression, it basically applies to girls who will have casual sex with someone and fall for them instantly.
I've had very good sexual partners and not felt a thing for them at all afterwards, and very bad ones where I have become so infatuated with them I've lost sleep. And vice versa, so I don't think it is the skill that does it.
So basically, (girls) do you fall for guys you've slept with easily? Or do you keep sex and love separate?


Well, personally, after i slept with my ex feelings were deeper, and not just because he toke my virginity but because it made me feel like we made a big jump and I did become attached.. we went out and were together 3 years.. now broken up. Im still the same, sex is for relationships, dont offer it to everyone. But some girls and guys can have sex and not feel a thing for the other person. lucky them.. its a personal thing i guess
Reply 17
Original post by thecatwithnohat
aka friends with benefits gone wrong?


Yeah I guess you could compare it to that

Original post by Feline_Nymphet
You...really need to take some classes in psychology. Not because you're crazy :nah: but because all your answers for female sexology are there :yy:

I can tell you a little bit. Everyone is different, yes, but our functions are all the same. Sex drive naturally empowers people to look for partners, and then:

"Dr. Fisher: Having sex can trigger love—probably because after orgasm, there’s a peak in dopamine activity. So watch out if you casually bed down with someone—you might unintentionally fall for them."

:yy: Idk anyone who doesn't know this but I felt posting a quote from a professional would suffice.


Cant tell if the first bit is a compliment or not haha! That quote literally explains the expression so much, but the thing is, why doesn't it happen with every sexual partner?

Original post by Anonymous
I actually vaguely know what you're talking about.

I can normally just have sex and forget about it (I'm not a slut I swear, I just am not wanting a relationship right now, I'm 18 and have only slept with like 5 guys total).

However I went on holiday and slept with a guy from uni, having never spoken to each other before, I don't know how it happened it was the weirdest thing, I do not even remember going to his room we were so black out drunk, our roommates were sleeping together so I guess it just sort of was somewhere for me to stay. All I remember is waking up the next morning naked in bed cuddled up with him, and now I can't stop thinking about him. I wouldn't say I was "infatuated with him" just intrigued?


There are people who have slept with triple the amount that you have that are younger than you. Having sex does not make you a slut, I think the word slut is just nonsense. Who cares if someone has sex?
That's kind of weird, you don't even remember anything about this boy and yet you've taken a great interest in him. Perhaps it is because you do not remember anything? Did you keep in contact?

Original post by Answer101
Well, personally, after i slept with my ex feelings were deeper, and not just because he toke my virginity but because it made me feel like we made a big jump and I did become attached.. we went out and were together 3 years.. now broken up. Im still the same, sex is for relationships, dont offer it to everyone. But some girls and guys can have sex and not feel a thing for the other person. lucky them.. its a personal thing i guess


You're an example of what this expression applies to I'd say. Its not a bad thing at all, it shows you're more serious and in some aspects mature. I wouldnt say not catching feelings is lucky, it can wear you out sometimes and all you want to do is just feel something.
I have an emotional attachment to the guy who took my virginity too, it is a big jump and it requires a large amount of trust to be able to give something up like that.
Sorry to hear that you broke up though. Was he your only sexual partner? I'm interested to know how your emotions would have played out with others.
Original post by grapes12
Yeah I guess you could compare it to that



Cant tell if the first bit is a compliment or not haha! That quote literally explains the expression so much, but the thing is, why doesn't it happen with every sexual partner?



There are people who have slept with triple the amount that you have that are younger than you. Having sex does not make you a slut, I think the word slut is just nonsense. Who cares if someone has sex?
That's kind of weird, you don't even remember anything about this boy and yet you've taken a great interest in him. Perhaps it is because you do not remember anything? Did you keep in contact?



You're an example of what this expression applies to I'd say. Its not a bad thing at all, it shows you're more serious and in some aspects mature. I wouldnt say not catching feelings is lucky, it can wear you out sometimes and all you want to do is just feel something.
I have an emotional attachment to the guy who took my virginity too, it is a big jump and it requires a large amount of trust to be able to give something up like that.
Sorry to hear that you broke up though. Was he your only sexual partner? I'm interested to know how your emotions would have played out with others.


I do think so! And no, I haven't slept with anybody else, just doesn't feel right to sleep with another person yet. Well although it is hard breaking up I guess there all experiences! Sex to me is for a relationship, not something I give out.
Reply 19
Original post by Answer101
I do think so! And no, I haven't slept with anybody else, just doesn't feel right to sleep with another person yet. Well although it is hard breaking up I guess there all experiences! Sex to me is for a relationship, not something I give out.


Maybe in future youll find that you can have causal sex without feelings becoming entwined. It happens. But as he was your first and only, and over a long period of time too, I can only imagine that the break up hurt! Definitely experiences though, you can learn from them.

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending