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Of Mice and Men GCSE Candy Essay Question - PLEASE MARK/GRADE

So I have my of mice and men English Lit GCSE Exam on Monday and I was wondering if someone could mark this practice essay I did and tell me what grade I would get. Thank you:smile:

It is in the spoiler below by the way. Thank you :smile:

Spoiler

Reply 1
Please help as I have the exam on Monday and would really appreciate the feedback :smile:
Reply 2
really good, I would give this about a 17 :smile:
This is prettyy good!!
However i noticed that you used the phrase "1930s America" too many times. I'd suggest substituting that phrase with something like "at that time".
Not all instances where you've used it though,substitute like just a couple


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Guys i need serious help with OMAM and romeo and juliet we literally got told last minute we all had to sit the exam on monday and we done no revision what so ever in school. The teacher goes you can get a G grade and its fine but i want atleast C if its possible. Aaarrrrghhhh im so mad at themm, like why tell us last minute😡


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Reply 5
Original post by O.Adams
really good, I would give this about a 17 :smile:


Thank you very much, have you got any advice on how I could bring it up to an A* since that is my predicted grade :smile:
Reply 6
Original post by Strangerdanger
This is prettyy good!!
However i noticed that you used the phrase "1930s America" too many times. I'd suggest substituting that phrase with something like "at that time".
Not all instances where you've used it though,substitute like just a couple


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Thank you, yes I see what you mean now, I will start doing that now :smile: what grade would you have given this?
Hmm... 16-17 probably but if you go over it once more, I reckon you could get atleast a 19


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Btw I started a revision thread for igcse english lit
Im doing mice and men and inspector calls
Care to join ?
Heres the link if you're interested
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3328657


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It's very good, if you were doing a summary of Candy. Sadly, you would get very little marks on this despite the good choice of quotations, the reason behind this is because you're not analysing the context, methods, character or techniques in enough detail. You do not need to tell the story from Candy's point of view, so try starting your main points "Steinbeck uses the ...... to portray Candy as ......". You mustn't waste your time doing an introduction or conclusion, these gain 0 marks, despite whatever content is in the paragraphs.
Having said that, the paragraphs starting "In Part Three we see..." and "The shooting of Candy's dog..." are much better, they include contextual knowledge, and show his importance as the personification of the older male members of society.
Finally, remember, Candy is a character, so refer to him as one every so often, perhaps saying "Steinbeck's character Candy..."
Good luck in the exam on Monday.
Mr Porter-Brooks
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 10
Original post by JJ.Porter-Brooks
It's very good, if you were doing a summary of Candy. Sadly, you would get very little marks on this despite the good choice of quotations, the reason behind this is because you're not analysing the context, methods, character or techniques in enough detail. You do not need to tell the story from Candy's point of view, so try starting your main points "Steinbeck uses the ...... to portray Candy as ......". You mustn't waste your time doing an introduction or conclusion, these gain 0 marks, despite whatever content is in the paragraphs.
Having said that, the paragraphs starting "In Part Three we see..." and "The shooting of Candy's dog..." are much better, they include contextual knowledge, and show his importance as the personification of the older male members of society.
Finally, remember, Candy is a character, so refer to him as one every so often, perhaps saying "Steinbeck's character Candy..."
Good luck in the exam on Monday.
Mr Porter-Brooks


First of all thank you so much for such a detailed response! And yes I do try to analyse in detail but it is sometimes hard when under a 40 minute time limit but I hope I am improving. I agree and felt that the two paragraphs starting 'In Part Three we see...' and 'The shooting of Candy's dog' were my strongest.
Thank you again for your excellent advice, and I shall try to do like you said and include more of how Steinbeck portrays the characters and what deeper contextual meaning this could have.
I hope I can take your comments on board and hopefully do well in my exam.
Thank you!
Reply 11
Original post by Strangerdanger
Hmm... 16-17 probably but if you go over it once more, I reckon you could get atleast a 19


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Okay thank you, how do you recommend that I improve it to get a 19 or 20 since my predicted grade is an A* and I'd like to meet this! :smile:
Maybe use stronger vocab and express your opinions and views more?



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This is a very detailed and well structured essay! I would personally give you 18,just try and add some more quotes into your essay,and you'll be well on your way to achieve your A*
Reply 14
Original post by English beast
This is a very detailed and well structured essay! I would personally give you 18,just try and add some more quotes into your essay,and you'll be well on your way to achieve your A*


Thank you so much, I have just finished rereading the book and I have been picking out key quotes as I went along so hopefully I should be able to include many more! :smile:
Original post by aneesha_brat
Guys i need serious help with OMAM and romeo and juliet we literally got told last minute we all had to sit the exam on monday and we done no revision what so ever in school. The teacher goes you can get a G grade and its fine but i want atleast C if its possible. Aaarrrrghhhh im so mad at themm, like why tell us last minute😡


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That sucks. I haven't done romeo and juliet since year 9 so i'm no help there. For OMAM there are youtube videos by mrbruff that you can watch as they explain a lot. The main theme are the American Dream, loneliness, violence and really you just need contextual knowledge as to what life was like for people in 1930's America which you can find online. Just link your points to what life was like then and it should go okay. good luck :smile:

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