Mental Health Support Society XVI

Most of the time I feel as if I'm mentally stable and somewhat happy, but I'm so susceptible to these moments where my thoughts turn really cloudy and dark, and there's nothing I can do but wait it out. For instance after most of the exams I've had that haven't gone as planned, I've thought about every question I didn't answer or answer properly, thought about how much it's gonna bring down my grade and push me further from my dream Uni. I need AAB and sometimes it feels like I'll be lucky to get BBC. Then I start to wonder why I even bothered being ambitious in the first place, then I start to conclude that I'm actually pretty stupid and useless, that I should have done more but I spent too much time fooling around, other people have done well so why can't I, etc. Long story short my thoughts spiral with such unrelenting force it seems very difficult for my positive self to get a word in edgeways. Luckily I'm too much of a pussy to go through and act on the suicidal thoughts that I have during these periods but I don't know if it'll always be this way. This habit I feel is seriously impacting my ability to live a high-quality life and achieve what I want, as deep down I don't have a lot of self-belief as it keeps getting shattered.
Sorry if that was convoluted as hell I seriously never vent I don't know how

What have I told you peeps about arguing with TLG? :fuhrer:



Of course you deserve our love, otherwise I wouldn't say it, would I?

Not sure I've seen you around before (apologies if I have - memory of a goldfish!), so and welcome to MHSS!

Though sorry to hear you are suffering so much. Do you have any kinda diagnosis? It sounds like you could benefit from cognitive behavioural therapy - is that something you could bring up with your doctor?

Btw, some excellent unis out there accept BBC, so even if that *is* what you get, it ain't over!

Nah, I'm new haha!

I tried to go to a doctor about 18 months ago before I started my A-Levels. I just became disenchanted with the whole thing to be honest. I had to wait about a month just for help to even be arranged, even then it was over the phone and I felt like the woman who was talking to me over the phone was trying to lecture me a bit on how I should be feeling. She didn't seem to get that I knew my negative thoughts made no sense but they still persisted. I feel like that might have as much to do with my inability to express this to her at the time but it wasn't a good experience, and with the way the NHS and just about every service in the UK has gone to the dogs, I'll either be drowned in pills or just not get the attention I need. I feel like I can and should deal with this holistically.

Coventry is my insurance and they want BBB, I'm sure I'll get in with BBC but it's not the dream haha. I'm sure I'll still love it in Coventry but I just want to get into Sheffield so much.

Sorry

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I want to watch this show but everything is upsetting me just now. I don't want to spoil it for anybody so mild OITNB spoilers in the tag:

Sadly it's very easy to become disenchanted with the NHS Though the fact that it is **** is kinda all the more reason to re-engage with it, so that should you ever have a major meltdown or anything *touches wood* , you're already in the system.

Have you looked at a website called MoodGym? It's kinda like online CBT that you do at your own pace. It's no substitute for therapist-led help, but if you're dead set against meds (which I can kinda understand, but sometimes meds can be a lifesaver and you should seriously consider them if they might offer some respite. Though I think you might benefit more from therapy, but I'm no doctor), then it can be a way forward towards understanding your thoughts and where they come from and why

But what will they do even if that does happen? I don't feel like I've even come close to a "meltdown" before but someone I know is currently quite seriously ill with schizophrenia... People just don't give a damn.

That's the key really, I think this MoodGym could potentially help, I can go through it at my own pace and access it as and when I need it, I don't trust confiding in people, even people who are paid to be confided in, as a solution. I'm a bit disengaged with others on an emotional level.

Seeing Garek in Star Trek talk himself down from a panic attack in the ep 'By Infernos Light' was inspiring. You know panic attacks are hellish when they can even break down a strong willed Cardassian!
"Control yourself, you're stronger than this"

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So is this meant to be a chat soc or somewhere where people ask for help on mental illnesses?

So is this meant to be a chat soc or somewhere where people ask for help on mental illnesses?

It's both! Sorry, I meant to get round to your post but got distracted. Patience is a virtue, though

I guess you can't 100% tell that someone has depression, the way you can tell that someone 100% has cancer or gall bladder stones or diabetes. But if it talks like a duck and acts like a duck, one can probably safely assume that it's a duck! So if someone exhibits enough symptoms and is deemed to be suffering from depression by a qualified, knowledgeable doctor, I'd say it's safe to assume they are depressed

Going to bed soon, so I will say goodnight, peeps xxx

bit of both really
a safe haven if you wanted to discuss mental health issues

Ah, thanks for the help. How would you get someone diagnosed if they refuse to go to the gp?