Would you date a guy who will graduate at 26...am I selfish?

Girls, I require your aid...especially if you are from a Middles Eastern (more specifically Turkish/Muslim) background.

Due to health (mental reasons) I messed up my degree BADLY and withdrew from my University after my second year. Now at the tender age of 23 I will begin my degree at a top London University but will graduate when I am 26.

Here is my problem...I am running out of time!
More and more of my friends in Germany are getting engaged...some have already married. I thought 28 is an idea/normal age to get married but this is apparently late; especially in the culture of the girl I am interested in (her name is Aylin ). I should also highlight that I am Muslim (don’t practice); but not from the same ethnic background (sub-Saharan African descent).

I have everything planned out! I will secure a place at an investment bank (I have good connections because of friends henceforth securing interviews shouldn’t be an issue) in my second year summer internship, marry her immediately (same summer), have a child, work in the UK for five years to make as much money as possible and move back to Germany.

At this moment in time she lives in Germany and is single. We are very much in contact; I will be seeing her in September...would it be selfish to start a relationship if she were to say yes?

Would it be selfish of me to make a long distance relationship with her for THREE YEARS, marry her when she is 26 (is this old for Turkish women?) and ask her to live in the UK for FIVE years?

I couldn’t offer her much for the next three years but once I am done; I could promise her a lot! I really like her and would do anything for her. The primary reason I would move back to Germany after working five years in England is so that she could be near her family.

Should I just accept that I am a failure and let go?
I only want to make her happy...

I can definitely see your struggle. I'm from a Middle Eastern background, in London the Middle Eastern men are getting married between the ages of 27-32 so if anything, you're probably still kind of young That's not selfish at all, if she wants to wait and live with you then you shouldn't worry. 3 years is a long time and problems could arise so there is a risk that your relationship wouldn't work but you never know.

It doesn't matter if that age is too old for Turkish women, as long as you're happy with it that's all that matters. The problem with us Middle Eastern people is that we conform to the 'expectations' set by our community too much. We forget that in the end, it's not the people's decision that matters in our life but it's actually our own. Your life has nothing to do with your community, they're not living it, you are! So don't think about whether or not your community would be accepting of things.

You're not a failure, if men who are 60 and have 10 kids are getting married then you should be fine. Good luck

Wow. My first piece of advice is scrap all the plans. It's good to have an idea of what you want to do, but you can't plan every detail, or at least you shouldn't, because if some of it doesn't work out you will only be disappointed.

Secondly, do you know if this girl wants a relationship with you? If she does, and she's okay with the long distance, go for it! If not, again it seems like you will be disappointed. Of course, if it doesn't work out with her you are still young and as the saying goes: there are plenty more fish in the sea.

As for graduating at 26, I certainly hope it's not too old, as I won't even be starting my degree until I'm 27! That means I won't graduate until I'm at least 30! I don't consider it to be a problem though, as I've done a lot with my life. Qualifications are a very small part of who you are, and any girl who would refuse to date you because you don't have a degree isn't worth being with anyway.

I agree! Go for your degree if it's what you want.

I'm a girl but dropped out of uni due to depression before 3rd year and am reapplying to start at 23 and finish at 26. I dont think its too old

Wow. My first piece of advice is scrap all the plans. It's good to have an idea of what you want to do, but you can't plan every detail, or at least you shouldn't, because if some of it doesn't work out you will only be disappointed.

Secondly, do you know if this girl wants a relationship with you? If she does, and she's okay with the long distance, go for it! If not, again it seems like you will be disappointed. Of course, if it doesn't work out with her you are still young and as the saying goes: there are plenty more fish in the sea.

As for graduating at 26, I certainly hope it's not too old, as I won't even be starting my degree until I'm 27! That means I won't graduate until I'm at least 30! I don't consider it to be a problem though, as I've done a lot with my life. Qualifications are a very small part of who you are, and any girl who would refuse to date you because you don't have a degree isn't worth being with anyway.

Too old to be graduating. That's what the majority of people on this thread think but don't have the courage to say.

Too old to be graduating. That's what the majority of people on this thread think but don't have the courage to say.

But is it better than to not graduate at all? He did specify that it is a top London university and I read mention of an internship.

Too old to be graduating. That's what the majority of people on this thread think but don't have the courage to say.

The user you quoted seems like a troll. Or if not one of the usual TSR "knows it all at 18 despite never having lived away from my parents" gang.

26 is not old at all. It's quite common in several European countries (or even America, actually, due to people often having to pay for college there and needing to save) to go a bit later. Certainly considered more than normal in your 20s.

The user you quoted seems like a troll. Or if not one of the usual TSR "knows it all at 18 despite never having lived away from my parents" gang.

Yeah good work anon trying to belittle me because of my beliefs. At least I have the courage to show my face as well as speak the truth. If my advice was so bad I would not be sitting here with 6 rep bars.