Hey, I'm so glad we come across as a nice caring environment
I have anxiety and needed quite a lot of support and counselling during my undergraduate degree. I really felt sick and ill about starting my PGCE because of how intense it is supposed to be and I wasn't sure I was ready. I am also a perfectionist (and a Virgo but I don't follow all that stuff!) so knew I may be disheartened on the PGCE. So allow me to share my experiences...
The anxiety has not been easy to manage over the course of the year. It seemed like every single day presented a new challenge that I had to conquer in terms of my anxiety, and every single time I got an inch close to running away and literally walking out of school and quitting. Yet I never did. And each time that I stuck there and did whatever it was, I became stronger. Sorry this may end up being a cheesy paragraph, but I undoubtedly believe that the PGCE has helped my anxiety and my confidence issues. It is still there, but I feel like I have a strength in my head now that can help me against it. It is hard to explain.
But, I guess what I'm trying to say is that sure, it is easy to say wait until you get your anxiety sorted out, but I don't think anxiety really gets sorted out? If you know what I mean. Certainly I don't think mine will ever go away with any amount of meds or counselling. I think it is better to just face things head on and try them. I was always prepared to drop out if it became too much - it was always an option. I am glad that I did it. I did have a lot of counselling during my first placement and it without a doubt got me through it. I don't believe I'd have made it through without them. They were amazing. I've not had much success from counselling in the past but I hated my first placement school and saw my uni counsellor and he was just so supportive and helpful. So don't be afraid to ask for help in that regard.
In terms of the PGCE intensity, I did find it hard but I didn't find it as hard as people made out. I'd seen quite a few people go through the PGCE before me and they all looked so fried and upset, coming home crying all the time, it's enough to make you run away! The last couple of months are the hardest, but I feel I made them harder on myself as I became lazy so wasn't doing anything in advance anymore!
Advice on how to manage anxiety/pressure during the PGCE:
- Try very hard to stay up to date. Don't leave things until last minute. Getting your stuff planned a week in advance helps loads, and I was good with this until Easter when I did nothing all holiday :P
- DO NOT compare yourself to others!!! I can't stress this enough. There will be people who make out as if they are God's gift to teaching when remember...you haven't seen them teach! Plus everyone has such different experiences between schools. You just can't compare. It's pointless.
- However...do share tips/resources! Don't be afraid to ask your fellow course mates for advice. We shared a lot and I gained things from that. It's not a sign of weakness.
- The same goes for asking for help from uni/school. You should, in theory, have a supportive mentor and uni tutor. They should support you. I was generally unimpressed with the support from university so I relied on my school who were excellent. Don't feel needy.
- Don't panic about observations. I made myself unnecessarily ill over these. They are watching the pupils more than YOU! And even if they go terribly (I had one which was a disaster), most of the time it does not matter. It is not the end of the world. Observers want to give you helpful feedback and for the most part they are understanding of issues.
- Have fun!! Seriously, on my first placement I was so serious about everything - my planning and my targets, etc, that I feel I forgot that I am teaching 11-16 year olds (and even younger for you) and that these lessons need to be fun, for them and for me. By the end of my second placement my lessons were enjoyable for myself and the pupils. I think it is something that comes naturally with time. It is about learning that you don't always have to stick to your lesson plan to a T. It is learning to adapt from it and be more casual.
I don't really know if anything there works. I'm pretty bored so went on a bit of a rant but maybe you've fished something out. My advice would be not to wait a year. I'd face this PGCE head on. Trust me, if I can do it, you can!! I am a mess! Mental health does not determine how you will deal with the PGCE. I've seen people who seem strong as nails crack from the pressure and drop out. Go for it. Just remember to seek support and ask for help when needed.
Good luck whatever you do.
EDIT: Holy crap didn't realise how long this was. Apologies
. I should sleep...