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19 female and still a virgin

Is it weird being a virgin at 19? I guess i just think it's weird because most of my friends besides one are no longer virgins. In fact today my friend who is 20 told me she lost hers yesterday.
I have never had a real relationship, but i have found guys attractive and even talked to some who treated me like a normal person. I'm not religious but i'm painfully shy and have virtually no confidence although i fake this in front of people. I hate the idea of dating sites because of the horror stories and the experiences my mom has had. I want to meet someone and i do want to have sex eventually but with someone i have strong feelings for. This has not happened yet. I'm shy suffer with some depression and my anxiety levels are high sometimes. I'm also a little jealous of my friends. People always tell me how pretty and how much of a nice person i am so why do i feel like a freak? I was just wondering if anyone feels the same or has felt the same so i at least don't feel like a complete idiot

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oh my..
I understand this must be quite frustrating for you. I can't even fathom the pain you're going through right now.
Original post by thegeorgiawade
Is it weird being a virgin at 19? I guess i just think it's weird because most of my friends besides one are no longer virgins. In fact today my friend who is 20 told me she lost hers yesterday.
I have never had a real relationship, but i have found guys attractive and even talked to some who treated me like a normal person. I'm not religious but i'm painfully shy and have virtually no confidence although i fake this in front of people. I hate the idea of dating sites because of the horror stories and the experiences my mom has had. I want to meet someone and i do want to have sex eventually but with someone i have strong feelings for. This has not happened yet. I'm shy suffer with some depression and my anxiety levels are high sometimes. I'm also a little jealous of my friends. People always tell me how pretty and how much of a nice person i am so why do i feel like a freak? I was just wondering if anyone feels the same or has felt the same so i at least don't feel like a complete idiot


you shouldnt feel like that, you should have more confidence in yourself and your looks, the right man will come along and if your pretty he will come along quicker and it doesn't matter if your a virgin
nothing wrong with that at all
Original post by missaxo
nothing wrong with that at all


Thank you I am thrilled for my friends I just wish my time would come soon. They always feel awkward when i mention this to them.
Original post by Gladiator12345
you shouldnt feel like that, you should have more confidence in yourself and your looks, the right man will come along and if your pretty he will come along quicker and it doesn't matter if your a virgin


Thank you that's very reassuring and kind of you. I know i'm not ugly although there are things i wish i could change. I think some guys think i'm too hard to get it's not that at all, it's just i'm shy and even saying a simple hello takes a lot of guts for me online or in person even though i do mask these feelings quite well. I just hate feeling so weird about this. My friend who is the shyest person i know (shyer than me) managed to do it.
Original post by thegeorgiawade
Thank you that's very reassuring and kind of you. I know i'm not ugly although there are things i wish i could change. I think some guys think i'm too hard to get it's not that at all, it's just i'm shy and even saying a simple hello takes a lot of guts for me online or in person even though i do mask these feelings quite well. I just hate feeling so weird about this. My friend who is the shyest person i know (shyer than me) managed to do it.


yeah it will happen don't worry about it, last year I was afraid of going up to girls in my new sixth form but within weeks I gained confidence and feel no shyness whatsoever the more time you spend with them the more confident you'll get
Well you need to remember that everyone loses it at their own pace, if your friends have lost it earlier then that's fine.
Having sex isn't a competition, do what is right for you. If you don't like being a virgin, then pursue a relationship and stop putting yourself down. It's not hard to find a boyfriend, but it is hard to find a boyfriend that will treat you right.
Why's everyone in a race to lose it? God damn...

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Original post by Lil3utterfly
Well you need to remember that everyone loses it at their own pace, if your friends have lost it earlier then that's fine.
Having sex isn't a competition, do what is right for you. If you don't like being a virgin, then pursue a relationship and stop putting yourself down. It's not hard to find a boyfriend, but it is hard to find a boyfriend that will treat you right.


Yeah I know that. I get plenty of offers but they are usually the guys who want a quick something and will move onto the next. I'm happy for my friends I just feel like they make me feel bad without even knowing it. I'd love to be happy and I know it will happen soon it's just a question of when.
Original post by donutellme
Why's everyone in a race to lose it? God damn...

Posted from TSR Mobile


I'm not in a race, I just feel like there's something I'm doing wrong. I talk to people but it never gets to the part where I ask someone out as my confidence is so low.
Original post by Gladiator12345
yeah it will happen don't worry about it, last year I was afraid of going up to girls in my new sixth form but within weeks I gained confidence and feel no shyness whatsoever the more time you spend with them the more confident you'll get


I will be starting university in October so hopefully i will meet guys then. When i was in college for the last 2 years there were a few guys i liked but they never looked at me in that way and wanted me to be just their friend.
Original post by BlindingLight
I understand this must be quite frustrating for you. I can't even fathom the pain you're going through right now.


It is frustrating but at the same time I don't want to rush into it. It doesn't help being extremely anxious and always thinking the worst about yourself.
Original post by thegeorgiawade
Is it weird being a virgin at 19? I guess i just think it's weird because most of my friends besides one are no longer virgins. In fact today my friend who is 20 told me she lost hers yesterday.
I have never had a real relationship, but i have found guys attractive and even talked to some who treated me like a normal person. I'm not religious but i'm painfully shy and have virtually no confidence although i fake this in front of people. I hate the idea of dating sites because of the horror stories and the experiences my mom has had. I want to meet someone and i do want to have sex eventually but with someone i have strong feelings for. This has not happened yet. I'm shy suffer with some depression and my anxiety levels are high sometimes. I'm also a little jealous of my friends. People always tell me how pretty and how much of a nice person i am so why do i feel like a freak? I was just wondering if anyone feels the same or has felt the same so i at least don't feel like a complete idiot


From a guy perspective I have no problem with hooking up with a virgin girl, it's not much of an issue.
Original post by The two eds
From a guy perspective I have no problem with hooking up with a virgin girl, it's not much of an issue.


Yes i've been told that before and it's good to know when i do finally decide the time is right. My mom and dad have always told me to respect my self and I'm proud that I have it's just waiting for that special person now. Thank you!
Original post by thegeorgiawade
Is it weird being a virgin at 19? I guess i just think it's weird because most of my friends besides one are no longer virgins. In fact today my friend who is 20 told me she lost hers yesterday.
I have never had a real relationship, but i have found guys attractive and even talked to some who treated me like a normal person. I'm not religious but i'm painfully shy and have virtually no confidence although i fake this in front of people. I hate the idea of dating sites because of the horror stories and the experiences my mom has had. I want to meet someone and i do want to have sex eventually but with someone i have strong feelings for. This has not happened yet. I'm shy suffer with some depression and my anxiety levels are high sometimes. I'm also a little jealous of my friends. People always tell me how pretty and how much of a nice person i am so why do i feel like a freak? I was just wondering if anyone feels the same or has felt the same so i at least don't feel like a complete idiot


Like.... what?

Why is it a bad thing that you haven't lost your virginity. This thread is a mess, I can't even deal with it tbh...
Original post by thegeorgiawade
Is it weird being a virgin at 19? I guess i just think it's weird because most of my friends besides one are no longer virgins. In fact today my friend who is 20 told me she lost hers yesterday.
I have never had a real relationship, but i have found guys attractive and even talked to some who treated me like a normal person. I'm not religious but i'm painfully shy and have virtually no confidence although i fake this in front of people. I hate the idea of dating sites because of the horror stories and the experiences my mom has had. I want to meet someone and i do want to have sex eventually but with someone i have strong feelings for. This has not happened yet. I'm shy suffer with some depression and my anxiety levels are high sometimes. I'm also a little jealous of my friends. People always tell me how pretty and how much of a nice person i am so why do i feel like a freak? I was just wondering if anyone feels the same or has felt the same so i at least don't feel like a complete idiot


I do feel similar to yourself a little miss, I'm 22 and still a virgin myself. Like yourself I'll most likely wait until I'm ready, so please don't let anyone pressure you into it. I'm sure you're stunning and may get offered such activity regularly in the future, and when you stumble across the right guy\girl they'll ease all that anxiety you feel about it :smile: I wouldn't pretend to know how depression feels, but I deal with PTSD from a motorbike crash last year during which I experienced the few minutes between my heart stopping and my brain shutting down. The memory of such haunts me, but I'll get over it. I guess what I mean is, although you may feel alone, please know that I'm here if you ever wanna chew the fat with someone who's in a similar position :smile:
Original post by thegeorgiawade
I'm not in a race, I just feel like there's something I'm doing wrong. I talk to people but it never gets to the part where I ask someone out as my confidence is so low.


I think it's natural to feel like that, but it's just the comparison with peers that makes you think this way. I'm a guy and I was a virgin until 20, despite having done a few other things. I consider myself attractive but, like you, quite shy and at the time a little uncomfortable with having sex with just anyone for the first time (that certainly changed afterwards..!). There is no reason to let it affect your confidence because it has nothing to do with how attractive you are, in fact sometimes good looks & shyness is a particularly bad combination because people can think you are out of their league or a little cold.

If you can become happy and confident with the person you are then it will never get in the way of anything. I have anxiety, occasional depression and I am certainly shy, but accepting this as part of you and embracing it means that people would see someone who is happy within themselves and even turn it into a positive (e.g. seeing the shyness as simply you being measured and considerate). I don't think I would have been able to cope with the high level job that I currently have otherwise. Good luck!
Original post by Ridingmyego
I do feel similar to yourself a little miss, I'm 22 and still a virgin myself. Like yourself I'll most likely wait until I'm ready, so please don't let anyone pressure you into it. I'm sure you're stunning and may get offered such activity regularly in the future, and when you stumble across the right guy\girl they'll ease all that anxiety you feel about it :smile: I wouldn't pretend to know how depression feels, but I deal with PTSD from a motorbike crash last year during which I experienced the few minutes between my heart stopping and my brain shutting down. The memory of such haunts me, but I'll get over it. I guess what I mean is, although you may feel alone, please know that I'm here if you ever wanna chew the fat with someone who's in a similar position :smile:


Thank you ever so much and I'm so sorry about your accident that must have been horrible for you! I can't even imagine how that feels I just hope you are OK. I will be waiting until the right person comes along I guess i'm just tired of this being such a taboo subject my friends often brag about what they do and I have to make an excuse and walk away. I know it's natural, it just feels weird talking about it knowing I have never been there with anyone! I'm sure you have had a similiar experience to me! I almost ended my life 4 years ago due to my depression and anxiety because i was badly bullied and it's only now I'm beginning to accept myself for who I am :smile:

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