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Am i going over the top not wanting to catch this off my bf?

My boyfriend gets cold sores and doesnt seem to bother about me catching them. Ive never had one in my life but he had one a few months ago and got annoyed before sex as i told him not to kiss, expecially down below. He told me it couldnt spread like that and when i argued it could he told me whoever said that needs an education. Lol. He started kissing my cheeks and i didnt like that he did it but i felt i was going over the top.

That was months ago. We were in the gym today and he kisses me on the lips. I then noticed that he had a fades red patch in the lower corner of his lips/mouth below the lower lip which looked just like a cold sore. It was too late though i had already kissed him, whether he forgot or just didnt bother telling me i dont know.

He said months ago that he will try not to give it me if hd can help it but that with being partners we should more or less share what each other has. He said he could understand if it was hiv but ge said i shouldnt be having hang ups about a cold sore.


Is it highly ive caught it off him and am i going over the top? Ive always been like this about health like i try to avpid getting colds etc.
Reply 1
Avatar for Zarek
Zarek
21
I'm with you it's only common courtesy that he trys to avoid passing this on. I would ban oral sex and kissing during an outbreak too.

This said this virus is really common, not always spread if your immune system is up to the job and not the end of the world.
If you've always been someone who goes out of their way to avoid colds, flu etc then he should really respect that.

If it's something that only happens to him every few months then I'm sure he can have periods where he doessn't kiss you.

The whole 'we're partners so we should share everything' is kind of weird in this context, and there's something I don't like about him saying that but I can't tell what it is.
Reply 3
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by SeanFM
If you've always been someone who goes out of their way to avoid colds, flu etc then he should really respect that.

If it's something that only happens to him every few months then I'm sure he can have periods where he doessn't kiss you.

The whole 'we're partners so we should share everything' is kind of weird in this context, and there's something I don't like about him saying that but I can't tell what it is.


It just really annoys me i cant help thinking ive got the virus now (if i didnt before) all because he kissed me yesterday. Not so much eorried about s coldsore but the principle of it like he dorsnt care. Im not even that keen on kissing anyway he knows that I go along with it for his sake.
Original post by Anonymous
It just really annoys me i cant help thinking ive got the virus now (if i didnt before) all because he kissed me yesterday. Not so much eorried about s coldsore but the principle of it like he dorsnt care. Im not even that keen on kissing anyway he knows that I go along with it for his sake.


I totally get how you feel. I would be annoyed too.

I think I would confront him and say 'knowingly infecting me with coldsores is one thing, but the fact that I asked you not to kiss me when you're like that and you forgot or didn't care really gets to me. Please don't do it again.'

But also, be careful as to whether it was really what was left of a coldsore, I mean it could be acne... you might already what a cold sore looks like when it's fading, if not it might be worth looking up just to make sure.
Reply 5
Avatar for Andy98
Andy98
20
What even are cold sores? If they're what I'm thinking of:
1: how the hell can you get it in summer?
2: didn't think if was contagious

Isn't it the one where your lips dry up in the cold?

Posted from TSR Mobile
He's not respecting your right to make decisions about your own health. He may see herpes as something that is not a big deal but you obviously don't and he should respect that.
Reply 7
Avatar for Josb
Josb
6
Original post by Andy98
What even are cold sores? If they're what I'm thinking of:
1: how the hell can you get it in summer?
2: didn't think if was contagious

Isn't it the one where your lips dry up in the cold?

Posted from TSR Mobile


It's herpes:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/da/Herpes%28PHIL_1573_lores%29.jpg

And it's contagious.
Reply 8
Avatar for Josb
Josb
6
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend gets cold sores and doesnt seem to bother about me catching them. Ive never had one in my life but he had one a few months ago and got annoyed before sex as i told him not to kiss, expecially down below. He told me it couldnt spread like that and when i argued it could he told me whoever said that needs an education. Lol. He started kissing my cheeks and i didnt like that he did it but i felt i was going over the top.

That was months ago. We were in the gym today and he kisses me on the lips. I then noticed that he had a fades red patch in the lower corner of his lips/mouth below the lower lip which looked just like a cold sore. It was too late though i had already kissed him, whether he forgot or just didnt bother telling me i dont know.

He said months ago that he will try not to give it me if hd can help it but that with being partners we should more or less share what each other has. He said he could understand if it was hiv but ge said i shouldnt be having hang ups about a cold sore.


Is it highly ive caught it off him and am i going over the top? Ive always been like this about health like i try to avpid getting colds etc.


You're on your right.
Original post by Andy98
What even are cold sores? If they're what I'm thinking of:
1: how the hell can you get it in summer?
2: didn't think if was contagious

Isn't it the one where your lips dry up in the cold?

Posted from TSR Mobile


They're not weather related (well "proper" ones), it's caused by the Herpes virus albeit not by the one classed as an STD most of the time. People who tend to get cold sores will always get them, as the virus stays dormant and from time to time you'll get a cold sore(s). It is very infectious so OP has a point.
Reply 10
Avatar for Andy98
Andy98
20
Original post by Josb


Original post by joey11223
They're not weather related (well "proper" ones), it's caused by the Herpes virus albeit not by the one classed as an STD most of the time. People who tend to get cold sores will always get them, as the virus stays dormant and from time to time you'll get a cold sore(s). It is very infectious so OP has a point.


Thanks guys, definitely not what I was thinking of:eek:

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Josb
You're on your right.


Is it me or does that sentence not make sense? :s-smilie:
Reply 12
Avatar for Josb
Josb
6
Original post by tootles44
Is it me or does that sentence not make sense? :s-smilie:


Yeah :biggrin:
I just wanted to say that I'm on OP's side.
I've been getting cold sores since I was little and I would NEVER, EVER try to kiss my partner when I have one let alone get pissy if he understandably doesn't want to catch it. The whole "let's share viruses" thing is creepy too imo.
Original post by Alba2013
I've been getting cold sores since I was little and I would NEVER, EVER try to kiss my partner when I have one let alone get pissy if he understandably doesn't want to catch it. The whole "let's share viruses" thing is creepy too imo.


I wouldnt either, do u think ive probably caught it now the kiss lasted about 5 seconds anc then i noticed it in the corner of his mouth.
what an *******, you can't get rid of the virus once you have it, why on earth would he want to infect you knowingly? it's literally a case of not kissing him, it's not like you're saying no sex at all (which would be fine too!)
Original post by Anonymous
I wouldnt either, do u think ive probably caught it now the kiss lasted about 5 seconds anc then i noticed it in the corner of his mouth.


I don't know to be honest, I've had it since forever, and so has my sister. I have no idea how you get it, sorry.

Not the end of the world if you have it though, I get a cold sore every 1 or 2 years, it's just a bit uncomfortable and you look like a leper for a few days but I'd still be so pissed if I didn't have it and someone passed it on to me.
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend gets cold sores and doesnt seem to bother about me catching them. Ive never had one in my life but he had one a few months ago and got annoyed before sex as i told him not to kiss, expecially down below. He told me it couldnt spread like that and when i argued it could he told me whoever said that needs an education. Lol. He started kissing my cheeks and i didnt like that he did it but i felt i was going over the top.

That was months ago. We were in the gym today and he kisses me on the lips. I then noticed that he had a fades red patch in the lower corner of his lips/mouth below the lower lip which looked just like a cold sore. It was too late though i had already kissed him, whether he forgot or just didnt bother telling me i dont know.

He said months ago that he will try not to give it me if hd can help it but that with being partners we should more or less share what each other has. He said he could understand if it was hiv but ge said i shouldnt be having hang ups about a cold sore.


Is it highly ive caught it off him and am i going over the top? Ive always been like this about health like i try to avpid getting colds etc.


I know someone who was kissed by their gran as a new born baby and caught cold sores off her, she hasn't stopped getting them since. They can look really really bad and come up when you're stressed. You are not going over the top, its herpes
He clearly knows that you are concerned for your health and don't like it so he should respect that. Also, the idea of sharing everything is just very odd considering the situation.

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