The Student Room Group

I feel inferior to couples

Hello everyone. This isn't a nice confession to make and jealousy is an ugly thing, but it has been praying on my mind a lot. I feel really beneath people who are coupled up. I'm 26 and have never had a boyfriend though I have dated one guy before for a few months who never made it official and soon hopped onto the next girl. I feel like a failure when it comes to relationships and feel that especially at my age that I do not have a normal life given my lack of relationship experience it's really getting me down. I thought when I was younger I would be married by now but I've yet to have my first boyfriend! Mean while my friends are on boyfriend number 4 or 5 and settling down to living with and getting engaged to partners and I have yet to even hold guy's hand.

I feel down about this pretty much everyday. One of my biggest wishes in life is to start a family but it's dawning on me that this may never happen for me because I can't even so much as get a boyfriend and I feel absolutely devastated, and even sometimes that I can't go on. I get so sad when I see couples and young families together. I don't want to be bitter and resentful but I can't ignore my yearning any more. I feel that those who are loved, cherished, appreciated and made to feel beautiful by their partner are so much better and more worthy than me.


Do you have any advice for me to stop me from feeling like this? Thank you!
Ask people out yourself. You're not as old as you think :smile:
Well I suppose numerically an individual is always inferior to a couple.

I'm 24 and single, I've never had a real romantic relationship. In my case I always felt that my confidence didn't grow at the same rate as other people. Now I feel confident enough to be in a relationship but too inexperienced to be any good at it. All we can do is throw ourselves into the bear pit and hope we don't get mauled.
I'm 24 and I've never had a boyfriend or even been on a date/held hands with a guy etc. I know exactly how you feel. I get so frustrated sometimes because it feels like it will NEVER happen and I feel so hopeless. People say it will but I don't believe it sometimes. Please PM me. I'd love to talk more about this. xx
Reply 4
Original post by sparklenshine
I'm 24 and I've never had a boyfriend or even been on a date/held hands with a guy etc. I know exactly how you feel. I get so frustrated sometimes because it feels like it will NEVER happen and I feel so hopeless. People say it will but I don't believe it sometimes. Please PM me. I'd love to talk more about this. xx


I had been single pretty much my entire life until a year ago. When the right guy comes along you'll be glad that he's your first and everything you share with him. The wait is frustrating, I'll give you that but you want to be with someone who you actually want to be with and care about rather than holding hands with someone just for the 'experience'
It's never too late, just remember that. Even when you're old and grey, it won't be too late. Tbh, with the way most guys are at a young age, I don't think you've missed out on much. You'll find the right person when the time comes, and in the meantime, focus on your career, your friends, etc. Don't compare yourself to other people, that'll only get you down, there's a right time for everything. If you ask me, it's better to meet someone once and have him be the right guy, than to date tons of guys to eventually find the right one. x
Original post by bluemax
I had been single pretty much my entire life until a year ago. When the right guy comes along you'll be glad that he's your first and everything you share with him. The wait is frustrating, I'll give you that but you want to be with someone who you actually want to be with and care about rather than holding hands with someone just for the 'experience'


thanks! i hope i find someone though :frown: x
Reply 7
Original post by sparklenshine
thanks! i hope i find someone though :frown: x



You can PM if you would like to talk as friends
Reply 8
Original post by sparklenshine
I'm 24 and I've never had a boyfriend or even been on a date/held hands with a guy etc. I know exactly how you feel. I get so frustrated sometimes because it feels like it will NEVER happen and I feel so hopeless. People say it will but I don't believe it sometimes. Please PM me. I'd love to talk more about this. xx



Hi hun I tried to PM you but your inbox is full at the moment! I would love to chat too! xx
Reply 9
Original post by Mashallah
Become a rapist

Tldr btw


In that case you should have read the bold text :s-smilie:
Original post by BookBird
It's never too late, just remember that. Even when you're old and grey, it won't be too late. Tbh, with the way most guys are at a young age, I don't think you've missed out on much. You'll find the right person when the time comes, and in the meantime, focus on your career, your friends, etc. Don't compare yourself to other people, that'll only get you down, there's a right time for everything. If you ask me, it's better to meet someone once and have him be the right guy, than to date tons of guys to eventually find the right one. x


The comparison is the bit I find very hard, especially when it is not always me doing the comparing. My cousins love to pester me as to why I don't have a boyfriend yet they have been driving me crazy for years and insinuating that something is wrong with me. Thank you your advice I'm trying hard to focus on other things but honestly feel there is a gap in my heart!
Original post by BefuddledPenguin
Well I suppose numerically an individual is always inferior to a couple.

I'm 24 and single, I've never had a real romantic relationship. In my case I always felt that my confidence didn't grow at the same rate as other people. Now I feel confident enough to be in a relationship but too inexperienced to be any good at it. All we can do is throw ourselves into the bear pit and hope we don't get mauled.


Me too I'm scared of being able to handle things with my lack of experience! Yes we have to take the risk or we will never know!
Reply 12
26 its not old but you should get out more if you already don't. You should make the first move in some cases.
Are you shy?
Original post by FlyingNinja1
Are you shy?


Yes I'm very shy! Any advice for me?
Original post by gaar321
26 its not old but you should get out more if you already don't. You should make the first move in some cases.


The thought of making the first move is terrifying :frown: But it beats being alone forever :smile:

Do you have any practical advise as to how to go about this?
Reply 16
Original post by Anonymous
The thought of making the first move is terrifying :frown: But it beats being alone forever :smile:

Do you have any practical advise as to how to go about this?

if a guy is sat next to you in a club say and is flirting blah blah run your hand from is knee to the inner thigh obviously don't grab is knackers. This will provide a strong hint if he doesn't accept that he is faggot move on. If your in a super market say, be suggestive by going up to a guy in the super market while browsing and ask something like do you know where I can find so and so items and divert the conversation by saying I like eating this type of food when I am out etc... Hopefully this will get him thinking subconsciously e.g
going out, food, if he finds you attractive he might just ask you to go out for food. Suggesting this is making him think subconsciously about it.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by gaar321
if a guy is sat next to you in a club say and is flirting blah blah run your hand from is knee to the inner thigh obviously don't grab is knackers. This will provide a strong hint if he doesn't accept that he is faggot move on. If your in a super market say, be suggestive by going up to a guy in the super market while browsing and ask something like do you know where I can find so and so items and divert the conversation by saying I like eating this type of food when I am out etc... Hopefully this will get him thinking subconsciously e.g
going out, food, if he finds you attractive he might just ask you to go out for food. Suggesting this is making him think subconsciously about it.


I don't like clubbing I'm a bit old for that to be honest and most of the guys are not looking for something meaningful but wow there's no way I'd touch a strangers leg :eek: or any other physical contact for that matter. I tend to go restaurants and coffee shops or even nice bars/pubs in the early evening on a weekday as I don't drink but I leave before it gets late and is no longer my kind of scene.
The supermarket thing could be a good idea though.. Thanks it's going to take massive guts though I'm nervous already :colondollar:
Original post by Anonymous
Hi hun I tried to PM you but your inbox is full at the moment! I would love to chat too! xx


Sorry! I think you can PM me now :smile:
Don't feel like that. There are many good things about being single, don't settle for someone just so you can say you're in a relationship.

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