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struggling to tell my family that i no longer want to wear hijab.. please help x

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(edited 8 years ago)

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Wear it because you want to.
Wear it because it's your religion.
Wear it because you're a Muslim.
DO NOT wear it out of fear and to make others happy.
To be honest religious families wouldn't take it very well xD just keep it on, it saves the drama trust me. Plus when you have a bad hair day your hijab can hide it :wink:
if that was me I'd just keep it on to avoid drama.
it is your choice, if you don't want to wear it then don't wear it but you'll have to get used to the negativity from you parents.
(edited 8 years ago)
How old are you? :smile:
Are you able to put into words why you don't want to wear it anymore?
How long have you been wearing it?
Sorry for all the questions but it's easier to give advice knowing the answers
Reply 4
Original post by noticemesenpai
To be honest religious families wouldn't take it very well xD just keep it on, it saves the drama trust me. Plus when you have a bad hair day your hijab can hide it :wink:
if that was me I'd just keep it on to avoid drama.


yeah but it's easier said than done.. i'm wearing hijab for the wrong reasons. i've worn it since i was so young, and i've never really experienced life without it. my family think this is a stupid reason to take it off though
Original post by booyahkasha
yeah but it's easier said than done.. i'm wearing hijab for the wrong reasons. i've worn it since i was so young, and i've never really experienced life without it. my family think this is a stupid reason to take it off though


Is there a family member that's understanding? My sister is very religious and strict but my muns understanding and listens
Reply 6
Original post by Hevachan
How old are you? :smile:
Are you able to put into words why you don't want to wear it anymore?
How long have you been wearing it?
Sorry for all the questions but it's easier to give advice knowing the answers


i'm 20, i've been wearing it since i was about 8 years old.
i just feel like i never wore it for the right reasons, i only wore it because my friends and family members did. i've been thinking of taking it off for a while, but never had the guts to tell my family. and now i really want to take it off before going back to uni just for a fresh start
Reply 7
First you need to tell us why you dont want to wear it anymore

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 8
Original post by noticemesenpai
Is there a family member that's understanding? My sister is very religious and strict but my muns understanding and listens


yeah my eldest sister and youngest sister are understanding, but no-one supports my decision to take it off.
my mum is very upset and she gets angry with me because she cares and is worried im up to no good
Original post by booyahkasha
my family are very religious, i told them last month that i no longer want to wear hijab but they didn't take it very well.

i don't want to disappoint my parents, but i honestly do not want to wear hijab anymore. i'm depressed.
my family jump to conclusions, and they think i want to take off my hijab because i want to impress guys -.- my sister questioned whether i'm a muslim anymore..

i love my family, but they just don't understand that this decision is between me and my lord.

can someone please give me some advice?
should i just carry on wearing it to make my life easier?

thank you! x


So sad that the term religious means narrow-mindedness in the Relationships and Advice sub-forums. :frown:

Original post by Hevachan
How old are you? :smile:
Are you able to put into words why you don't want to wear it anymore?
How long have you been wearing it?
Sorry for all the questions but it's easier to give advice knowing the answers

That is irrelevant. She just does not want. She does not need to justify it.
Original post by ahad ahad
First you need to tell us why you dont want to wear it anymore

Posted from TSR Mobile


because ive never experienced life without it. i only wore it because my sisters and friends did
Original post by booyahkasha
yeah my eldest sister and youngest sister are understanding, but no-one supports my decision to take it off.
my mum is very upset and she gets angry with me because she cares and is worried im up to no good


I wear a hijab, during secondary school I wanted to take it off my family were angry. I realised the whole meaning of the hijab, to hide your beauty and stuff. Why do you want to take it off? Like why does it feel like your wearing it for the wrong reasons? To be honest I'm glad that I kept my hijab on but thats my personal experience.

Well she is your mother at the end of the day, you do what feels right. You'll have to accept the negativity you'll face because your family took it in a negative way.
Reply 12
Salaam hun,

No one can force you to wear the hijab. Wearing the hijab can be challenging and on some days you will feel as if its a battle between wearing one and not. You have come so far and deciding to take it will not be likened by Allah, but Allah knows your struggle and so it is a test to see if you will take it off. Maybe try wearing your hijab in a different style that may make you feel a bit more comfortable but still covering the hair. And maybe try finding out why muslims wear hijab in the first place; that may help you decide to leave it on.

May Allah guide you and all of us x
Tell them it's your choice and then let them deal with it.
The decision is entirely upto you but I just wanted to remind you that this life is just a test for us and what we do with it will show on the day of judgement. You will either get the reward of Jannah or the punishment of Jahanam. But as its been said before, wearing it for reasons such as your family is not right. Even though hijab is mandatoy for mature women, it should only be worn out of love for Allah (swt). May Allah (swt) make it easy for you :smile:
OP you don't have to justify your decisions to anyone but yourself.

It is YOUR life, so don't live it for anyone else.

Original post by samboosa0
The decision is entirely upto you but I just wanted to remind you that this life is just a test for us and what we do with it will show on the day of judgement. You will either get the reward of Jannah or the punishment of Jahanam. But as its been said before, wearing it for reasons such as your family is not right. Even though hijab is mandatoy for mature women, it should only be worn out of love for Allah (swt). May Allah (swt) make it easy for you :smile:

Citations needed...
Original post by Juichiro


That is irrelevant. She just does not want. She does not need to justify it.


it is relevant because her parents are going to ask that question first. Being able to explain why she doesn't want to wear it will help her with making her parents understand and not over react
Original post by Law-Hopeful
OP you don't have to justify your decisions to anyone but yourself.

It is YOUR life, so don't live it for anyone else.


Citations needed...


why are citations needed? Those are my own words :/
Original post by booyahkasha
my family are very religious, i told them last month that i no longer want to wear hijab but they didn't take it very well.

i don't want to disappoint my parents, but i honestly do not want to wear hijab anymore. i'm depressed.
my family jump to conclusions, and they think i want to take off my hijab because i want to impress guys -.- my sister questioned whether i'm a muslim anymore..

i love my family, but they just don't understand that this decision is between me and my lord.

can someone please give me some advice?
should i just carry on wearing it to make my life easier?

thank you! x

Asalamu alaykum sister,
I think first you should research why the hijab is so important. You are right it is between you and your Lord, and I understand your curiosity of how life will be without hijab. Although hijab is obligatory just like prayer, would you stop prayer just to see how life is without prayer? I wouldn't condone you sinning like this, but I think you should think about whether it will help you.

In this day and age wearing hijab is practically a test. Pass this test sister. Remember hijab isn't just covering of the head, it's modesty in general. Hijab is about clothing and attitude as well.

Although I'll leave you with this. I fear that taking your hijab off may cause you to lose hijab in other places and lose interest in deen. On the other hand keeping it on for the pleasure of others may cause you to hate it. So if worst comes to worst take it off, and keep hijab in every other place that it's needed, tell your parents you want to understand what is important about it first and then you will make a decision; and do exactly that. May Allah increase our knowledge and guide us all to the straight path, Ameen.

Note: I know there is only a small chance what I said above could happen, but shaytaan works like this. He starts of small and gets bigger, next it could be your prayer he attacks. Sometimes we don't even know our own intentions clearly. May Allah purify our intentions and make this easy upon you, Ameen ya rabbal alameen.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by booyahkasha
i'm 20, i've been wearing it since i was about 8 years old.
i just feel like i never wore it for the right reasons, i only wore it because my friends and family members did. i've been thinking of taking it off for a while, but never had the guts to tell my family. and now i really want to take it off before going back to uni just for a fresh start


I See :smile: well when you go to university you may meet a lot of people who will wear hijabs, but also people who may challenge the way you think about it. You should definitely make the decision for yourself though. Will you be living at university? If so you could not wear it and your parents wouldn't know. That way you can see how you feel without it and whether that's what you want :smile:

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