Please be honest: would you date a girl who has had one night stands?

No I don't want one and he would probably run a mile from me anyway so I suppose this is a bit of a filter in some ways. It's funny you mention it and this is going to sound crazy for a while I was attracted in some strange way to very sexist guys because I knew they would chastise me and hate me for what I did. I've thought about it and I think maybe it was because I knew these guys would be emotionally unavailable for me as I felt I deserved rejection of the worst kind i.e. been called a wh**e, good for nothing etc. I know I'm weird I'm just being honest!

True strictly speaking I have only had sex with one. Some see the rest as fooling around and forget about it but my guilt won't let me let it go.

Though just to be clear, I'm not into the extreme BDSM stuff like forced-bi, whipping and chastity, that stuff is crazy.

Good! :-)

Yes you DO need to forgive yourself. Because you didn't do anything wrong! Sex is a perfectly normal human desire. Yes it is more fulfilling with someone you love, but it is not the big deal you seem to feel it to have had some meaningless rolls in the hay...

You say you are quite religious. Is a part of this a sense that sex outside marriage is somehow sinful?

The other thing is that the fact that the men so wanted you shows that you are very attractive. And it is clear from how you write that you are an interesting, intelligent person capable of self awareness and of love. Who has good values, decent values.

Here's some more advice. Build up your self esteem of course, and make yourself in a position, confidence wise to attract the right guy. It is 90% confidence.

But when you think you may have found it still don't talk about your sexual history too early. Make sure you can trust him before you share.

Another thought. If you think about it a man who loves you and whom you love has more cause to be jealous of someone you were in love with rather than just slept with.

You kept your love for him alone. Of course a lot of guys have to put up with previous lovers not just partners!

We can cope with whatever it is, for the right girl.. :-)

I definitely wouldn't but I am only 19 though. At age 25+ a lot of single people will have had them and if anyone says they haven't, I would straight up think they are lieing.

Yeah I was basically taught that anything other than unprotected missionary sex for procreation purposes within marriage was acceptable - so no manual, oral, anal etc they were even funny about kissing. And of course no porn or masturbation! My sex education consisted of being shown slide shows of pictures aborted babies and high-def shots of STDs. It certainly kept my legs closed for a long time!

Thank you it gives me hope that attraction/relationships are 90% confidence as that is something I can work on I'm sure I will get there in time!

Yeah true there's no chance of me running off with exes that I'm still in love with! And I've sewn my wild oats, absolutely hated it so there's probably a lesser chance of me wandering astray.

1) I also value honesty in a relationship but I see no need to discuss past partners. What does it achieve? I've never had that conversation except when initiated by girls who are insecure about it, which in itself puts me off more than their sexual history would.

Well you are going to be amazed how great sex can be with someone you love. You are just going to have the most wonderful time, something to look forward to.

(Maybe you will have to work on those deep seated associations of sex and guilt before though? Something to think about. There is nothing wrong with sex and why would God not want you to have pleasure??)

No masturbation? You poor thing, no wonder you got frustrated.

That's true. I don't know what is most common, but I don't think it's normal to give all the details. When me and my girlfriend were drunk not long after we started going out, she asked me for my sexual history (which wasn't much, three girls, but she was a virgin). The next day she said she really regretted it. There's no need for details.

No.

Sure okay. Can you explain a bit as to why you feel this way please?

Yes, so long as the one before I come along is her last.

No.

I'm sure it's pretty common to have the conversation, and to go into detail. But that's because most people are insecure about it.

Yeah exactly I even feel guilty when I masturbate. I didn't start until I was like 21 and I do it maybe only once every 2 months as I end up in tears after orgasming. I definitely have something deep rooted might even be worth seeking some therapy related to that. Got to get my relationship with my own body sorted before I can realistically have one with someone else!

If someone didn't date you because you'd gone wild in the past they aren't worth it, you were SINGLE
Being I'm a relationship is different, I'm serious don't worry honey I had a somewhat similar situation to you and im not even in my 20s if anyone were to judge me I'd tell them to F off they aren't worth it

When you're single you can do that and people should not not date you because of it xx

Posted from TSR Mobile