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The friendzone doesn't exist

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Yeah exactly is so simple but people dont understand. A relationship only works if you like her and she likes you simple. Nothing you can say or do can change that !
It exists, the problems is them morons who start complaining about being put it in it. No one is ever obligated to go out with you, but you can do certain things that can improve your chances.
I agree. The "friendzone" seems to just be a phrase/concept that protects the male's ego insteaad of the reality that it is a REJECTION. They just are too full of themself to understand that someone finds them not attractive or actually unattractive
Original post by twodaysgone
This is another reason why even an attractive guy shouldn't become close friends with an attractive girl in that case. Because once he wants to realise those intentions, you're pretty much rejecting him and the emotional attachment will feel almost like a breakup for him.

If you get on well, adding sex to the friendship (inside of a relationship) shouldn't alter that connection.


That's assuming the guy will always want to get with the girl. He usually doesn't outright ask her out, prolonging the brutal process.

Come on, being a friend and a partner are different things. Friendship doesn't imply attraction. In fact, you're using the bitter friendzone guy logic there- if she's my friend, she should want to be my girlfriend!
Original post by Mankytoes
It is overused, but girls do sometimes say "I do like him, but I wouldn't want to risk our friendship". That is a thing that happens. It's not illogical, if she really enjoys the friendship, a failed relationship would probably end that. Just be honest with women. If you want to be her sexual partner, flirt, don't act like a platonic friend, then turn around and say "omg why is she treating me like a platonic friend!?".


Hey man, I think I am in that situation.
When some girls say 'lets just be friends' they dont actaully want to be your friend, they just ignore you after.
But what do you do when the girl, she flirts with you, touches you a lot, gets jealous of other girls.
Original post by freedom
Hey man, I think I am in that situation.
When some girls say 'lets just be friends' they dont actaully want to be your friend, they just ignore you after.
But what do you do when the girl, she flirts with you, touches you a lot, gets jealous of other girls.


You mean the same girl who has said "lets just be friends"? Then she's clearly playing games. Probably best to just ignore her. If she doesn't get back in touch, she was just trying to get your attention. If she does, she likes you and is trying to get you to chase her.
Original post by twodaysgone
The friendzone simply put: is someone not finding you attractive.

It may be your looks or an aspect of your personality but for whatever reason that person can't see themselves with you in a sexual sense.

By saying 'let's just be friends' they're being weak instead of saying 'No, I just don't find you attractive'. It's not because you were too friendly...

...if you're attractive and you're friendly and take your time to make a move then a girl will want you.

...if you're unattractive (to her) and you're friendly and take your time to move then it's 'let's just be friends'.


yeah, there's such a thing as "not finding somebody attractive" - it's called "just being friends" - aka, you're in the friendzone. you don't like the word "friendzone"? that seems like that's all you're saying - you want people to stop using that word or something? why? what's so offensive about the concept of a "friendzone"? it all stems from the fact that guys and girls who don't find each other ugly (either from both sides, or just one) can't "just be friends" - that's why the "friend zone" is so negative. the only time when a guy and a girl can be just friends is if they both find each other unattractive at the same time which isn't going to happen all the time
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Multitalented me
It exists, the problems is them morons who start complaining about being put it in it. No one is ever obligated to go out with you, but you can do certain things that can improve your chances.


...so your point is that people aren't allowed to complain when things don't turn out the way they want them to...?
Original post by twodaysgone

I think it's impossible for guys and girls to be close friends because it seems guys will always want more at some point.

What if he's gay. Or if she is. Or if they both are?😁😳😂🔫
Girls cant be honest and say I'm not attracted to you because a Lot of guys take rejection so freakin personally and act like its the end of the world.
Original post by Mankytoes
You mean the same girl who has said "lets just be friends"? Then she's clearly playing games. Probably best to just ignore her. If she doesn't get back in touch, she was just trying to get your attention. If she does, she likes you and is trying to get you to chase her.

Well I don't message her, she will text me, call me.
If ignore her messages she will text 'FINE THEN'
I have seen her looking at me at uni and looking quickly down in a shy way.

Well when she said lets be friends. I said lets go on a date. That's why she said it
It does exist. I've known girls who've been on dates with guys exempt, they didn't realise it was a date. The boy in question is not in the right area in their mind for them to see them in a sexual light.

Boys don't put people in those separate zones. We interact with friends and potential lovers the same when it comes to an opportunity for sexual relations; ie the criteria remains based on hot good a face, tits, arse they have. The relationship type we have with women is not directly related to how attractive we find them.
Original post by salsasauce
I agree. The "friendzone" seems to just be a phrase/concept that protects the male's ego insteaad of the reality that it is a REJECTION. They just are too full of themself to understand that someone finds them not attractive or actually unattractive


Actually it's not a coping mechanism. The friendzonme for a guy is much worse than rejection in a more impersonal sense. You are not just a male she's not into, you're equivalent to one of the girls.
Original post by banterboy
Actually it's not a coping mechanism. The friendzonme for a guy is much worse than rejection in a more impersonal sense. You are not just a male she's not into, you're equivalent to one of the girls.


And being the equivalent to one of the girls is so awful
Original post by Mankytoes
It is overused, but girls do sometimes say "I do like him, but I wouldn't want to risk our friendship". That is a thing that happens. It's not illogical, if she really enjoys the friendship, a failed relationship would probably end that. Just be honest with women. If you want to be her sexual partner, flirt, don't act like a platonic friend, then turn around and say "omg why is she treating me like a platonic friend!?".


That's just girls being polite.

"I do like you, but I wouldn't want to risk our friendship" is code for "date you? **** no. I'd rather pluck out my own eyes with a spoon".
Original post by Mankytoes
Yeah, but you might feel he is attractive, but the relationship is high risk. If he's a guy you've just met, **** it, no risk. If he's your friend, you're risking losing him.

You might not do it personally, but it still exists. It's just got a bad rep from loser guys who think they're entitled to sex if they're nice to a girl. It doesn't change the fact that you should be open with your intentions.


This makes no sense. If you both find each other attractive and you're already friends with him, then the chances of a successful relationship are extremely high, lets say its 50% likely to last at least a year.

The positive of finding a successful relationship that lasts a year or more massively outweighs the negative of losing a friend, and if the chances of each are equal, then the rational course of action is to go for it. Friends are ten a penny. Long term relationships are not.
Original post by salsasauce
And being the equivalent to one of the girls is so awful


For a man who wants to be respected as a sexual being and not a castrated pool of resources, yes.
Original post by twodaysgone
The friendzone simply put: is someone not finding you attractive.

It may be your looks or an aspect of your personality but for whatever reason that person can't see themselves with you in a sexual sense.

By saying 'let's just be friends' they're being weak instead of saying 'No, I just don't find you attractive'. It's not because you were too friendly...

...if you're attractive and you're friendly and take your time to make a move then a girl will want you.

...if you're unattractive (to her) and you're friendly and take your time to move then it's 'let's just be friends'.


So if I am friends with a girl who is extremely attractive. However I myself am just being myself and ain't being a doormat/ trying to get her, also assuming I am probably just average looking. Wtf do i do
I dont find my hair attractive so its now in my friendzone
Original post by freedom
Well I don't message her, she will text me, call me.
If ignore her messages she will text 'FINE THEN'
I have seen her looking at me at uni and looking quickly down in a shy way.

Well when she said lets be friends. I said lets go on a date. That's why she said it


Oh I don't know, she's just an attention seeker probably, just ditch her. You've asked her out, she's said no, don't chase.

Original post by cole-slaw
That's just girls being polite.

"I do like you, but I wouldn't want to risk our friendship" is code for "date you? **** no. I'd rather pluck out my own eyes with a spoon".


It might be sometimes, but there's still a complication of feelings involved. Girls really worry about this stuff. I stand by my main point here- make your intentions clear.

Original post by cole-slaw
This makes no sense. If you both find each other attractive and you're already friends with him, then the chances of a successful relationship are extremely high, lets say its 50% likely to last at least a year.

The positive of finding a successful relationship that lasts a year or more massively outweighs the negative of losing a friend, and if the chances of each are equal, then the rational course of action is to go for it. Friends are ten a penny. Long term relationships are not.


See that's successful to you, but a lot of girls a relationship is a failure unless it ends with marriage and babies.

Again, that's how you feel, a lot of people feel their close friends are extremely valuable.

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