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She had a valid point, but she took it way too far. Very unprofessional.

If she wanted to share the message on Twitter 'to see how many other women have had similar experiences' as she stated, then she should have redacted his name.

Firms will be wary of instructing her in future. She's made herself look like a loose cannon.
Original post by SmallTownGirl

Oh no, you'll have to learn to treat women like human beings.


I can understand this, but 'human being' is a pretty key term. Men have been chancing it with women since the dawn of time with varying degrees of success. If they didn't, you and I wouldn't be here.

LinkedIn isn't an appropriate place to be doing this, though, and in this particular case the guy clearly knew it.
Original post by TurboCretin



Firms will be wary of instructing her in future. She's made herself look like a loose cannon.


She is building a profile with "right on" firms to do high profile human rights work whilst probably looking for a Parliamentary seat.

She isn't going to be doing routine immigration appeals, let alone RTA cases in Coventry County Court.

The real question is if she is seen as "pushy" in the sisterhood. That is hard to say, but I think she looks more "glammed up" than say Helena Kennedy would have done at her age and I don't know how that will go down privately amongst the Spare Rib reading classes.
Original post by Underscore__
Lol so if you want a work colleague to say something good to you you have to invite them to say specifically what you want to hear?


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Unless it is a formal meeting with management and involves appropriateness or cleanliness, I dont want to hear anything about my appearance, looks or body at all from anyone
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by kunoichi
Unless it is a formal meeting with management and involves appropriateness or cleanliness, I dont want to hear anything about my appearance, looks or body at all from anyone


So if you weren't in a formal meeting and a supervisor told you that you were dressed inappropriately you think that's inappropriate?

Kim Kardashian loves people talking about her body and how amazing it is. Any normal person would have no issue with compliments


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If she were a little fatter she could throw fat-shaming in there with her "misogyny! sexism! objectification!" comments. "Oh help me, I've been called stunning, somebody get the smelling salts and fainting couch" :rolleyes: I'm not sure how such a simpering mess copes in everyday life. I can certainly imagine the types of arguments she uses as a barrister though.
Original post by Underscore__
So if you weren't in a formal meeting and a supervisor told you that you were dressed inappropriately you think that's inappropriate?

Kim Kardashian loves people talking about her body and how amazing it is. Any normal person would have no issue with compliments


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In the world of work (at least in bigger companies, smaller companies are often a bit more informal) your manager needs to take you aside privately, normally with another person as witness to discuss any clothing/appearance issues with you - this is what i meant by meeting.The other person is there as witness to check nothing inappropriate is said.

If you are using Kim Kardishan as an example of a normal person, then I think you need to rethink your argument. Her whole job is about being sexy, if I am at work in a lab, I want to be discussing my results, I dont want to hear a word about how nice or otherwise I look.
Original post by kunoichi
In the world of work (at least in bigger companies, smaller companies are often a bit more informal) your manager needs to take you aside privately, normally with another person as witness to discuss any clothing/appearance issues with you - this is what i meant by meeting.The other person is there as witness to check nothing inappropriate is said.

If you are using Kim Kardishan as an example of a normal person, then I think you need to rethink your argument. Her whole job is about being sexy, if I am at work in a lab, I want to be discussing my results, I dont want to hear a word about how nice or otherwise I look.


It's also not uncommon for someone who's more senior to just have a quick word, it saves a lot more time.

I'm not saying she's normal but you seem equally abnormal, just on the opposite end of the scale.

Working in a lab is somewhat different, you're not dressing up on clothes you think are nice and putting make up on your face to make yourself look nice.


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Original post by SmallTownGirl
If the first thing you comment on in a profession setting (which Linked In is) is someone's appearance then you are not valuing that person's achievements and abilities.



No, again, that's not how it works. If the first thing you comment on is appearance it does not mean you don't value their abilities and achievements. It just means you think they look good. There is nothing more and nothing less. Do you expect the person to congratulate her on her achievements straight away? The first thing you see when you look at a person is a their appearance, not their achievements. Colleagues don't see your GCSEs on your face when you walk in on your first day.
Original post by kunoichi
In the world of work (at least in bigger companies, smaller companies are often a bit more informal) your manager needs to take you aside privately, normally with another person as witness to discuss any clothing/appearance issues with you - this is what i meant by meeting.The other person is there as witness to check nothing inappropriate is said.

If you are using Kim Kardishan as an example of a normal person, then I think you need to rethink your argument. Her whole job is about being sexy, if I am at work in a lab, I want to be discussing my results, I dont want to hear a word about how nice or otherwise I look.


No offence, but you sound like a prude.
Original post by VotreAltesse
No offence, but you sound like a prude.


In the workplace I like to keep things professional.
Original post by Underscore__
It's also not uncommon for someone who's more senior to just have a quick word, it saves a lot more time.

I'm not saying she's normal but you seem equally abnormal, just on the opposite end of the scale.

Working in a lab is somewhat different, you're not dressing up on clothes you think are nice and putting make up on your face to make yourself look nice.


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And they will have that word privately, not in front of the staff body.

In most jobs, (including working in a lab) you have to retain a sense of cleanliness and look decent. A biologist would lose as much respect as if they went in to work after rolling in the gutter and rubbing mud over themselves than if they went in looking like a stripper.

You up your chances of being hired/promoted and treated better in almost any job if you have a decent appearance. For a woman that generally includes make up, even if its just a 'bare face' look that evens up skintone and brightens the eyes.

I'm not saying women have to wear make up but a lot of us get told we look ill or tired if we dare to go to work without it one day. It isnt really professional to look tired or ill :P
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by kunoichi
In the workplace I like to keep things professional.


Well you're a professional prude.
Original post by kunoichi
And they will have that word privately, not in front of the staff body.


But that's not a formal meeting like you originally said.

Original post by kunoichi
In most jobs, (including working in a lab) you have to retain a sense of cleanliness and look decent. A biologist would lose as much respect as if they went in to work after rolling in the gutter and rubbing mud over themselves than if they went in looking like a stripper.


You have to look presentable but you wouldn't be expected to dress up as much as if you were front of house for international law firm.

Original post by kunoichi
You up your chances of being hired/promoted and treated better in almost any job if you have a decent appearance. For a woman that generally includes make up, even if its just a 'bare face' look that evens up skintone and brightens the eyes.

I'm not saying women have to wear make up but a lot of us get told we look ill or tired if we dare to go to work without it one day. It isnt really professional to look tired or ill :P


I'm not sure that's really true, yes you have to look presentable but that's simply part of professional conduct. There's a difference between looking presentable and looking nice and in my experience (of working at law firms specifically) the women wear very expensive clothes in an attempt to look more than just presentable.


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Original post by VotreAltesse
Well you're a professional prude.


Excellent. I'll put it on my resumè
Original post by Underscore__
But that's not a formal meeting like you originally said.



You have to look presentable but you wouldn't be expected to dress up as much as if you were front of house for international law firm.



I'm not sure that's really true, yes you have to look presentable but that's simply part of professional conduct. There's a difference between looking presentable and looking nice and in my experience (of working at law firms specifically) the women wear very expensive clothes in an attempt to look more than just presentable.


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There are varying degrees to each job obviously, you still can't look like a tramp.

No offence but because you are a guy chances are you don't understand the ins and outs of female fashion. If you work in a law office it's likely you earn a lot of money so can afford very nice clothes. It doesn't mean you want to be taken any less professionally.
Also women can be competitive so if one looks amazing the others will normally follow suit.
Original post by kunoichi
There are varying degrees to each job obviously, you still can't look like a tramp.

No offence but because you are a guy chances are you don't understand the ins and outs of female fashion. If you work in a law office it's likely you earn a lot of money so can afford very nice clothes. It doesn't mean you want to be taken any less professionally.
Also women can be competitive so if one looks amazing the others will normally follow suit.


So if you're trying to compete and someone says 'you look great today' surely that lets you know you're doing well? My point all along has been that if you make an effort to look nice and someone compliments you on it, in a way that isn't crude or vulgar, then it makes no sense to respond badly


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Original post by Underscore__
So if you're trying to compete and someone says 'you look great today' surely that lets you know you're doing well? My point all along has been that if you make an effort to look nice and someone compliments you on it, in a way that isn't crude or vulgar, then it makes no sense to respond badly


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It doesnt really work like that and anyway I'm sure no matter how nice they dress, they would still like and prefer to be given respect for their profession not their appearance.

On a site based around work though as the thread is about, I do not feel that such comments are appropriate.
If you know mary from the office really well and know she would take it well, then fine. If it is someone you dont know well or at all, then keep quiet and keep the conversation away from appearance and what you find attractive.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by kunoichi
Excellent. I'll put it on my resumè


Nothing to be proud of.

And it's spelt "Résumé" ... You make me crease.
Original post by kunoichi
It doesnt really work like that and anyway I'm sure no matter how nice they dress, they would still like and prefer to be given respect for their profession not their appearance.


But there's no reason to say that you can't think someone looks good as well as respect their ability to do their job. If you make an effort to look nice you can't criticise someone for telling you that you look nice.

Original post by kunoichi
On a site based around work though as the thread is about, I do not feel that such comments are appropriate.
If you know mary from the office really well and know she would take it well, then fine. If it is someone you dont know well or at all, then keep quiet and keep the conversation away from appearance and what you find attractive.


I have already said that I would agree his comments were somewhat inappropriate but to call him sexist is ridiculous. She obviously thought she looked good in that picture and I think had the guy been young and good looking she'd have reacted very differently


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