Basically got my best mate his gf... now he's gone walkabout.

When you raise your standards in life, some rise to meet them and others lag behind. It's life dude, you don't have to cut him out but don't be too surprised if you have to let him slip away.

Long story short my best mate has lacked in confidence for many years. He has wanted a good looking gf for years and has had bad relationships. He has also wanted to work in a corporate setting for many years now but has had a hard time breaking into the industry he wants to go into.

Recently I broke into the industry he wants to go into. I am working in London quite a lot these days but I have not been able to get him to come out when I am available, he always makes some excuse such as flu , having to see his gf for something etc etc. I.e. I think he is taking the piss a bit.

How did I basically get him his gf? I introduced her to him, I guided him through how not to **** it up like he usually does. I spoke well of him to her. I got out of their way to make it look normal.

I just think I have been too nice to the guy. I gave him free legal advice that saved him in his startup (I am a law grad), made sure that he had all the relevant contracts created because I anticipated legal disputes with his business partner. When he had the legal disputes I made sure he came out unscathed and that he took the whole business.

Now when I want to go out for a drink he is suddenly going walkabout? It has happened many times now, it was the same when I had won him the legal dispute. It's ok because I have other people to socialise with but its just bloody annoying.


Serious question, is now a good time to play it nice to him but really make a conscious decision to cut him out? Usually when I get pissed off with he makes some big extravagant apology but I don't think this guy is reliable anymore.

It's nice that that you are a good guy and were a good friend to him but you have made the mistake of thinking because you do good you will receive good in return, does not always work like that. At least it's not so bad it could be worse just learn from this , keep a bit of distance and move on.

My brother listen to this song

Used to sit in library at finals time listening to this. Kendrick imparting words of wisdom.

Most people do not trust me in my life even when I try to be a genuinely good person, I think it may be because of my credentials or the way I come across. But who knows man?

Long story short my best mate has lacked in confidence for many years. He has wanted a good looking gf for years and has had bad relationships. He has also wanted to work in a corporate setting for many years now but has had a hard time breaking into the industry he wants to go into.

Recently I broke into the industry he wants to go into. I am working in London quite a lot these days but I have not been able to get him to come out when I am available, he always makes some excuse such as flu , having to see his gf for something etc etc. I.e. I think he is taking the piss a bit.

How did I basically get him his gf? I introduced her to him, I guided him through how not to **** it up like he usually does. I spoke well of him to her. I got out of their way to make it look normal.

I just think I have been too nice to the guy. I gave him free legal advice that saved him in his startup (I am a law grad), made sure that he had all the relevant contracts created because I anticipated legal disputes with his business partner. When he had the legal disputes I made sure he came out unscathed and that he took the whole business.

Now when I want to go out for a drink he is suddenly going walkabout? It has happened many times now, it was the same when I had won him the legal dispute. It's ok because I have other people to socialise with but its just bloody annoying.


Serious question, is now a good time to play it nice to him but really make a conscious decision to cut him out? Usually when I get pissed off with he makes some big extravagant apology but I don't think this guy is reliable anymore.

Long story short my best mate has lacked in confidence for many years. He has wanted a good looking gf for years and has had bad relationships. He has also wanted to work in a corporate setting for many years now but has had a hard time breaking into the industry he wants to go into.

Recently I broke into the industry he wants to go into. I am working in London quite a lot these days but I have not been able to get him to come out when I am available, he always makes some excuse such as flu , having to see his gf for something etc etc. I.e. I think he is taking the piss a bit.

How did I basically get him his gf? I introduced her to him, I guided him through how not to **** it up like he usually does. I spoke well of him to her. I got out of their way to make it look normal.

I just think I have been too nice to the guy. I gave him free legal advice that saved him in his startup (I am a law grad), made sure that he had all the relevant contracts created because I anticipated legal disputes with his business partner. When he had the legal disputes I made sure he came out unscathed and that he took the whole business.

Now when I want to go out for a drink he is suddenly going walkabout? It has happened many times now, it was the same when I had won him the legal dispute. It's ok because I have other people to socialise with but its just bloody annoying.


Serious question, is now a good time to play it nice to him but really make a conscious decision to cut him out? Usually when I get pissed off with he makes some big extravagant apology but I don't think this guy is reliable anymore.

You introduced them he doesn't ****ing owe you for the whole relationship. Why don't you focus on your own life now? Clearly he doesn't want to be around you much, that's why he makes excuses - take the hint. Peiole grow and move on.

Nah, I also walked him through how not to **** it up because he didn't even feel confident enough to ask her out.

I also gave him free legal advice when his business partner would have eaten up his whole business.

Fine, I will take the hint. But really, I think in the future when he inevitably needs someone to babysit him again, he will be found wanting. But such are people these days, they expect something for nothing. No loyalty, no respect, everything is transitory. I helped him not because I had to, but because I am not a prick, but I get thrown back in my face all of this attitude?

I could treat him like the others in corporate life now, i.e. a fake friend, because essentially that is what it boils down to.

@AvaAdore where did he bring up the fact you're an addict? I can't see it, and I don't see him being whiny and vicious either, he did a lot for this guy under the illusion that they were mates and now the guy can't spare a second for him, anyone'd be p*ssed I reckon.

@OP you sound like an awesome friend, he has clearly let you down. Agree with the other poster, don't bother cutting him out, just let him slip away and don't let him come crawling back when he needs you - he isn't there for you now. Btw, what is it that you do/where are you working?

@AvaAdore where did he bring up the fact you used to be an addict? I can't see it, and I don't see him being whiny and vicious either, he did a lot for this guy under the illusion that they were mates and now the guy can't spare a second for him, anyone'd be p*ssed I reckon.

@OP you sound like an awesome friend, he has clearly let you down. Agree with the other poster, don't bother cutting him out, just let him slip away and don't let him come crawling back when he needs you - he isn't there for you now. Btw, what is it that you do/where are you working?