Should I leave university?

I have Asperger's, and have a lot of trouble with anxiety and adjusting to change. I've just started university, and I can't stand the thought of being here for another three years. I know a lot of autistic people live at home and go to university, but none of the ones near where I live do my course. I miss my family, and I have trouble making friends, so I'm afraid that I'll be isolated. If I still feel like this after a couple of months, what should I do? Should I just keep going, or should I leave?

Reply 1

Mee00

Keep going!! I have autism too 😀😀 itll get better with time i start university next week but im living at home my uni is far like an hour away if you feel like you cant cope live from home and commute itll be easier and youll be happier x

Reply 2

Mee00

Feel free to PM me if you want to domeone to talk to thatll understand 😊

Reply 3

Mee00

Youve worked hard to get to get to university you can do it 😁😘

Reply 4

AzimH

Original post by Cbarretthome

Stay strong OP and don't give up yet, you got this! Don't be shy and try to start a convo with people. Join clubs and societies which you think you would like. Try to find some common ground. It's natural to worry remember that, so don't quit. Good luck! :smile:

Reply 5

chickenonsteroids

Have you spoken to your university's disability service? They might be able to give some more specific advice. They'll probably want you to stay on but they could make the decision easier and invite you to meet people and make social life easier.

Reply 6

Cbarretthome

Original post by chickenonsteroids

I've spoken to them at previous open days, and I have an appointment to speak with a mentor.

Reply 7

Airmed

Original post by Cbarretthome

Don't leave, give it a chance! I have mh issues, and when I arrived at uni this week, I thought I would be begging to go home by the next day, but no. :smile:

Do things with your hall mates, even if it's mundane grocery shopping, and please don't isolate yourself.

Reply 8

chickenonsteroids

Original post by Cbarretthome

I've spoken to them at previous open days, and I have an appointment to speak with a mentor.

Glad you have an appointment planned. Be as open about your worries as you need to. They're there to help their students (I didn't think I'd ever write a sentence with all three variants of 'there' by accident... this is a big moment for me.)

Reply 9

DarkMagic

What do you think of your course?
If you like it, it may be worth sticking it out (or maybe see if you can do it somewhere else). Change can be hard but you should become more used to it over the 3 years and may make more friends when that happens. I wouldn't base the decision to leave based on friendships though, there's no guarantee they'd last after uni even if you had loads.

Reply 10

thisistheend

Original post by Cbarretthome

You have trouble making friends? Is it because you're not pretty?

I'd have thought a pretty but autistic girl with no social skills (hence no womanly bull****) would be pretty popular.

Reply 11

Cbarretthome

Original post by DarkMagic

I'm doing classics, and I enjoy a lot of it, but I took a gap year, and I'm worried that I will have forgotten some of the language. A lot of universities don't do classics, which limits my options quite a lot. The closest one to where I live which does is about an hour and a half away.

Reply 12

Tiger Rag

As well as the disability support team, you will also have a personal tutor. You can also talk to them if you have a problem. Your lecturers will also be aware of your difficulties.

Reply 13

kahinalouise

I can understand exactly where you are coming from. :smile:

I have Aspergers, I took a gap year and just moved up to uni. I moved from London to Carlisle and it is so different and my first thought was what have I done.

I spent the weekend just exploring finding where everything was, it helped a little making it less unknown.
I'm going to join societies and try to do stuff with other people, I know I'm going to hate it but in the long run it could help so much. You just have to go for it I guess.

Feel free to pm me any time.

Reply 14

Plagioclase

Original post by Cbarretthome

I've spoken to them at previous open days, and I have an appointment to speak with a mentor.

I really suggest you stay in very frequent contact with them. I've been in close contact with my University's disabilities department for quite a while now which is why I'm not as terrified about the transition to University in a few weeks as I otherwise would be (to be honest, there's no way I'd have been able to do it without their help).

Reply 15

Cbarretthome

Thank you so much to everyone for their advice. I feel a lot better about university now, and hopefully it will stay that way.

Reply 16

Jenx301

Check out societies at your uni too as my university has a society specifically for people with autism/aspergers/social anxiety type conditions x

Reply 17

Cbarretthome

One more question, I've only met three of my flatmates, but two are international students and the other one is in her second year. They all seem nice, but I'm worried about finding people to live with in the second year. Also, the other two people who haven't arrived yet are both girls as well, and as I have been going to all girls schools for eight years now, I would prefer a mixed gender flat. Should I change accommodation?