The Student Room Group

Single and Lonely

Okay, first, I can't believe I'm actually posting this but I really don't know what to do :redface:

I'm female, and I turn 18 next week, and I've never been in a relationship. I've always told myself that there's time for that later, and I don't want to be tied down, but honestly, it's starting to get a little lonely.

I had a small crush on a guy over the summer and thought I'd get to know him a bit better once school started. But I saw him with his girlfriend and was utterly devastated, and more than that, lonely.

I try to find flaws myself to fix but I don't know where to start.
I've been told that I'm quite attractive and won't have any problems getting guys but this is so untrue.

:frown:

What do I do? I can be outgoing and sociable when I want, and I have a huge number of interests. Why is it so difficult for me?

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Reply 1
Have you tried online dating? OR looking on forums etc related to your interests?

Just sitting around and waiting to be asked out won't get you anywhere.

I feel your pain about seeing someone you have feelings for with someone else, it does suck but there isn't anything you can do about it.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Okay, first, I can't believe I'm actually posting this but I really don't know what to do :redface:

I'm female, and I turn 18 next week, and I've never been in a relationship. I've always told myself that there's time for that later, and I don't want to be tied down, but honestly, it's starting to get a little lonely.

I had a small crush on a guy over the summer and thought I'd get to know him a bit better once school started. But I saw him with his girlfriend and was utterly devastated, and more than that, lonely.

I try to find flaws myself to fix but I don't know where to start.
I've been told that I'm quite attractive and won't have any problems getting guys but this is so untrue.

:frown:

What do I do? I can be outgoing and sociable when I want, and I have a huge number of interests. Why is it so difficult for me?


I'm often told the same (Vice-versa when it comes to boys/girls). I guess I just don't have the confidence really...
Reply 3
Original post by dhr90
Have you tried online dating? OR looking on forums etc related to your interests?

Just sitting around and waiting to be asked out won't get you anywhere.

I feel your pain about seeing someone you have feelings for with someone else, it does suck but there isn't anything you can do about it.


I haven't really :redface: I thought you have to be 18 for those?

I agree with you there, but I might just wait for uni to see what happens
It is clear your problem is that you have only had a crush on one person so you haven't wanted to get into a relationship with anyone else. Despite the interest from a number of people. Why are you lonely? Do you not have a very good relationship with your family or something?

Also I am looking for a girlfriend. Are you an Anglican by any chance?
Reply 5
Original post by Alexion
I'm often told the same (Vice-versa when it comes to boys/girls). I guess I just don't have the confidence really...


:hugs:

The weird thing is that I did build up some confidence over the past two years or so, but it's all coming toppling down recently :redface:
Reply 6
Original post by william walker
It is clear your problem is that you have only had a crush on one person so you haven't wanted to get into a relationship with anyone else. Despite the interest from a number of people. Why are you lonely? Do you not have a very good relationship with your family or something?

Also I am looking for a girlfriend. Are you an Anglican by any chance?


I've had crushes on more than one person tbh. Another problem is that I get literally no interest from others.
I do have a good relationship with my family, and some very close friends. I should've said 'romantically lonely' :redface:

No, sorry :frown:
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
I haven't really :redface: I thought you have to be 18 for those?

I agree with you there, but I might just wait for uni to see what happens


You'd be amazed how many people on them have lied to either go on them or just to make themselves younger. Only a week to wait to try them if you want to be truthful though. But the forums etc are unlike to have age limits (unless they're related sex/BDSM etc), a car forum for instance would be fine to join as an under 18 year old.

I ended a relationship not long after it started because it wouldn't have worked long distance when at uni. Some people can make long distance work, or go to the same or nearby uni with their partner. A year is a long time to wait if you're feeling like this now.

I wouldn't deny yourself the chance of happiness now, just to wait for uni when things might change.

Have you joined any clubs or groups related to your interests? Either at school/college or just those open to all in your local area?
Wouldn't try online dating if I were you, just bring yourself to places where you are free to talk about yourself
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
:hugs:

The weird thing is that I did build up some confidence over the past two years or so, but it's all coming toppling down recently :redface:


I guess there's two different types. Today, I'm able to comfortably talk to every single person in the Sixth Form at my school, which is a serious achievement for me, as before GCSEs I definitely had social problems, finding it difficult to communicate with anyone other than my two or three friends.

Over time, I got much more confident with talking to everyone, and I'm happy to say that I'm a sociable person now (although I still enjoy time in front of my computer as much as being out with friends).

But I still struggle when it comes to the idea of a relationship... I don't really know why, I guess I'm just not ready inside :frown:
Think about your guy friends, if there are any that interest you then talk to them, spend time with them, etc. If there aren't any then make some new friends.
Original post by dhr90
You'd be amazed how many people on them have lied to either go on them or just to make themselves younger. Only a week to wait to try them if you want to be truthful though. But the forums etc are unlike to have age limits (unless they're related sex/BDSM etc), a car forum for instance would be fine to join as an under 18 year old.

I ended a relationship not long after it started because it wouldn't have worked long distance when at uni. Some people can make long distance work, or go to the same or nearby uni with their partner. A year is a long time to wait if you're feeling like this now.

I wouldn't deny yourself the chance of happiness now, just to wait for uni when things might change.

Have you joined any clubs or groups related to your interests? Either at school/college or just those open to all in your local area?

I'll have a light look around I think

There's not many clubs and groups around, but I will have a root around.
But you have made me realise that getting into a relationship right now is probably not the best idea :redface: Especially if I'm planning to move out for uni

Thanks though

Original post by shawn_o1
Wouldn't try online dating if I were you, just bring yourself to places where you are free to talk about yourself


I'm quite wary about online dating tbh. I'll see what I can do
Original post by Alexion
I guess there's two different types. Today, I'm able to comfortably talk to every single person in the Sixth Form at my school, which is a serious achievement for me, as before GCSEs I definitely had social problems, finding it difficult to communicate with anyone other than my two or three friends.Over time, I got much more confident with talking to everyone, and I'm happy to say that I'm a sociable person now (although I still enjoy time in front of my computer as much as being out with friends).But I still struggle when it comes to the idea of a relationship... I don't really know why, I guess I'm just not ready inside :frown:
You've kind of described how I feel :frown: But it's just getting lonely.
Original post by SeanFM
Think about your guy friends, if there are any that interest you then talk to them, spend time with them, etc. If there aren't any then make some new friends.
There are some, but they're all crushing on other girls. It's just my luck :sad:
Original post by Anonymous
You've kind of described how I feel :frown: But it's just getting lonely.


PM me if you wanna talk some more :console:
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous
I'll have a light look around I think

There's not many clubs and groups around, but I will have a root around.
But you have made me realise that getting into a relationship right now is probably not the best idea :redface: Especially if I'm planning to move out for uni

Thanks though



I'm quite wary about online dating tbh. I'll see what I can do


There might be more than you think once you have had a good search. Certainly the case for my town.

Whilst I did that, I regretted it at the time as we continued to be friends and my feelings for her got stronger. As it happened I dodged a bullet as she was a bit of a psychopath. But that being single stuff really sucked.

I wouldn't deny yourself now if you find someone, given you don't know which uni you'll go to, if you'll go there etc. You might not even be happy at uni and move back home.

I'm the same as you. I had a few apps, but deleted them in the end due to trust issues (I really sell myself in threads like this :lol:).
Original post by Anonymous
Why is it so difficult for me?


It sounds like you dont have (or dont know how to create) an "in". Examples of "in's" are like: one of your female friends has a boyfriend who has a single friend so "we should hook up" kind of thing, or a rebounding guy whos just broken up with someone or a "cover" that's when two ppl agree to say to everyone that they are a couple but are not really they're just pretending. This last example can go either way, either you really do become a couple or you dont.

Get a group of 3 girls and go out somewhere with/or to meet a group of 3 guys.
*Life hacking*
In the same boat, I honestly don't think I know another single person. Everyone I know is all loved up.
Original post by Anonymous
You've kind of described how I feel :frown: But it's just getting lonely. There are some, but they're all crushing on other girls. It's just my luck :sad:


If you're really lonely and you can look past them initially crushing on someone else (who knows, maybe people don't dare to crush on you because they assume you're taken or they have no chance) and you show those guys some interest, maybe they'll turn their attention to you. Otherwise, make friends or wait it out till uni.
Reply 18
try tinder its different to most dating sites/apps
You'll attract all kinds when you get to uni and you'll miss your current predicament :wink:

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