My dad came home wasted

The fact that he was able to drive home drunk without being caught shows that our police is crap or your father is an excellent driver but an average driver when drunk you should either be proud or disappointed, may be both. Proud at his mad driving skills but disappointed he risked his and potentially others lives.

I'm afraid I have to agree with this. I know you (OP) must feel shocked and betrayed, which is natural, precisely because you look up to your father as a strong character. However, even the most stoic and well intentioned individual can be subject to pressures they just can't suppress.

I think it's likely that something has been building up for a while that you don't know about. It could be a big thing, but it could equally be just a lot of small things you would think trivial. He could be depressed (perhaps a fact he will never accept), or he could be dissatisfied with his job or some other aspect of his life. It sounds like he's supporting your whole family, which is a big responsibility. Unfortunately, it's usually the people who try their best to get things right who fall the hardest when things do go wrong that they can't control.

I understand that men of a certain generation or culture simply don't talk about these things. I couldn't imagine ever bringing 'feelings' up with my father, and it's possible you will never know what the problem is. However, I think it's very important that you give him some allowance. Something has triggered this, and it's 100% not acceptable to drink drive (anyone who says it is, even once, should think about what would have happened if he had hit a three year old on the way home), but people do make mistakes, and they do sometimes need help rather than anger, no matter who they are.

Please try to hear him out, and perhaps read between the lines. This didn't come from nowhere. Your father is clearly a good family man, and that won't have changed overnight, but there is something going on that he feels like he is facing alone, even if he refuses to admit it.

Or maybe he met up with some old mates and wanted a drink?

Or maybe he met up with some old mates and wanted a drink?


Posted from TSR Mobile

Not sure if this is a troll. How can the OP be so self centred.

He's probably lost his job, perhapse on verge of divorce, maybe even attempted suicide but you don't give a damn do you ? who's gunna pay your uni fees !

What a self centred little brat

4. it's not about the money, it about what it represents. That our loving father doesn't really give a **** about us

Not sure if this is a troll. How can the OP be so self centred.

He's probably lost his job, perhapse on verge of divorce, maybe even attempted suicide but you don't give a damn do you ? who's gunna pay your uni fees !

ok I'll just keep repeating myself then.
1. I know my parents had a rough patch a year ago or so but have seemed verz happy in last couple of months and my dad was even more cheerful than usual
2. He didn't lose his job. Actually it was going well and he was successful in something he worked for for a couple weeks. Would've thought it was a celebratory drink if it wasn't so out of character
3. I know for a fact he wouldn't kill himself
4. it's not about the money, it about what it represents. That our loving father doesn't really give a **** about us

He doesn't give a **** about you because he had a drink? Woah the fun police right here. He needs a drink with a child like you. Maybe he wants to let loose, maybe he went out for a drink with work colleagues, maybe he met up with a few mates or maybe he wanted to escape your nagging.

My parents drink, go on all girls/all guys holidays (and come back with no voice and a bad hangover), go to concerts, go on nights out (and get back at 2am) but you know what I say good for them because they are working their arses of and I'm happy they have such a good social life and are enjoying the one life they get. They haven't neglected me as a child? They've shown me too live my life.

How about you stop being so selfish.


Posted from TSR Mobile

Honestly, it sounds like you're determined to hold on to your anger. The purpose of ranting online is to vent and have support. Granted, you have gotten some stupid responses but you have also gotten some sensible ones (and yes I am the same anon on pg 3) but it would appear that you are hell bent on condemning your father and holding on to your anger with the sole excuse that he is a family man and therefore not allowed to make mistakes. Your anger on its own makes your attitude towards your father totally selfish. If he has to always be on top of his game and love you all constantly, who loves him back? You have repeated yourself over and over again about how angry you feel that he got drunk. Now let go of your anger, stop making excuses for yourself or insist on running him down and go show your father some love and concern. I know you are not 12 but the way you call everyone names suggest you have some anger issues to deal with and some growing up to do.

easy with the judging and assumptions buddy. He doesn't give a **** about us because he risked his life drunk driving. I thought I made that clear.
I know how he got drunk. He'd been drinking glass after glass from 1pm to evening. Who decides to "let loose" at 1pm?
No one f*cking nags him, but I guess you know better what happens in my family than me, thanks for that mate.
Well good for you champ, my parents aren't like that. I guess yours are just superior.

I guess I haven't been clear. He's the kind of guy who would've destroy me verbally and virtually disown me if I got drunk at 16. He was so strongly against it and determined to make me never get drunk (didn't work, surprise surprise). Actually we had a family dinner with a friend who showed up drunk once and my dad expressed his utter disgust.
And now he does the same thing. he just betrayed his principles (not saying they were right, but he lost credibility) and presented himself as a hypocrite when whole my life I've thought of him as the exact opposite. Man of principles and conviction and iron will. Now if he told me when I was 16 it's not a catastrophe to get drunk I wouldn't be nearly as upset. I just feel betrayed,plain and simple.

One glass can lead to two, two to three and so on if you start drinking at lunch time. Doesn't mean its intentionally to get drunk? Before he knew it he could have been really drunk, he wasn't drinking every drink like 'must drink drive and kill myself to get at my children because I don't love them' glug glug glug

And he does give a ****? that's why he financially supports you and your siblings, that's why he feeds you, has provided love and support your entire life, provides you with a home, will always welcome you back etc. If he didn't give a **** he would just get up and leave, he would make you pay for everything yourself, he would spend all his money on himself, he would kick you out of the house. Don't be so spoilt as to think your parents life centres around you 24/7. He's human for Christ sake, he's allowed to make a mistake.

Do you actually live in the real world like the rest of us?


Posted from TSR Mobile

Except he's not a 16 year old getting drunk... He's an adult. And he got drunk once. Give the guy some room the breath please.


Posted from TSR Mobile

I guess I haven't been clear. He's the kind of guy who would've destroy me verbally and virtually disown me if I got drunk at 16. He was so strongly against it and determined to make me never get drunk (didn't work, surprise surprise). Actually we had a family dinner with a friend who showed up drunk once and my dad expressed his utter disgust.
And now he does the same thing. he just betrayed his principles (not saying they were right, but he lost credibility) and presented himself as a hypocrite when whole my life I've thought of him as the exact opposite. Man of principles and conviction and iron will. Now if he told me when I was 16 it's not a catastrophe to get drunk I wouldn't be nearly as upset. I just feel betrayed,plain and simple.