How do I break up with him? What do I do?

I've been dating a guy for 1 year and 8 months but I've reached a point where I want to move on. I love my boyfriend but I think he's over obsessive, very annoying, too dependent on me and unfortunately that's not what I want. He lives in a different city so I go down there every weekend but in getting sick of it AND I'm getting bored. He had a bit of autism, ADHD. I've known him to cut himself before. Unfortunately he's so attached to me that last time I tried to break up with him, it was like talking to a whale on the phone. I was saying "I'm breaking up with you" and he was refusing to let me go. He threatened to come down to my house to see me in the middle of the night if we break up, and if I don't let him in he'll sleep on the streets. I had to settle with 'taking a break'. He doesn't understand, he's calling me every single night. I'm afraid that if I break up with him he's probably going to kill himself. He says he won't go to college anymore if I go because he's doing it for me and our future. I feel stuck and trapped in a love I don't want to be in anymore. He even got him mother involved to make sure we don't break up! What do I do??

Reply 1

physicst

16

Original post by Anonymous

I've been dating a guy for 1 year and 8 months but I've reached a point where I want to move on. I love my boyfriend but I think he's over obsessive, very annoying, too dependent on me and unfortunately that's not what I want. He lives in a different city so I go down there every weekend but in getting sick of it AND I'm getting bored. He had a bit of autism, ADHD. I've known him to cut himself before. Unfortunately he's so attached to me that last time I tried to break up with him, it was like talking to a whale on the phone. I was saying "I'm breaking up with you" and he was refusing to let me go. He threatened to come down to my house to see me in the middle of the night if we break up, and if I don't let him in he'll sleep on the streets. I had to settle with 'taking a break'. He doesn't understand, he's calling me every single night. I'm afraid that if I break up with him he's probably going to kill himself. He says he won't go to college anymore if I go because he's doing it for me and our future. I feel stuck and trapped in a love I don't want to be in anymore. He even got him mother involved to make sure we don't break up! What do I do??

If you love him and it seems he also love you, then what is the problem. You can sort it out by talking to him. I said this because it is very difficult to find true love in this selfish world. I know you don't want to hear this.

Reply 2

troubadour.

19

Original post by Anonymous

I've been dating a guy for 1 year and 8 months but I've reached a point where I want to move on. I love my boyfriend but I think he's over obsessive, very annoying, too dependent on me and unfortunately that's not what I want. He lives in a different city so I go down there every weekend but in getting sick of it AND I'm getting bored. He had a bit of autism, ADHD. I've known him to cut himself before. Unfortunately he's so attached to me that last time I tried to break up with him, it was like talking to a whale on the phone. I was saying "I'm breaking up with you" and he was refusing to let me go. He threatened to come down to my house to see me in the middle of the night if we break up, and if I don't let him in he'll sleep on the streets. I had to settle with 'taking a break'. He doesn't understand, he's calling me every single night. I'm afraid that if I break up with him he's probably going to kill himself. He says he won't go to college anymore if I go because he's doing it for me and our future. I feel stuck and trapped in a love I don't want to be in anymore. He even got him mother involved to make sure we don't break up! What do I do??

If you don't want to be with him anymore, break up with him and be firm about it. He can do what he likes - chances are he's just using the threat of sleeping outside your door (which, if he does, is something you should call 999 for). Don't let him trap you with his suicide threats.

Reply 3

TwinnyP

11

Original post by Hydeman

If you don't want to be with him anymore, break up with him and be firm about it. He can do what he likes - chances are he's just using the threat of sleeping outside your door (which, if he does, is something you should call 999 for). Don't let him trap you with his suicide threats.

Agree with this. He's emotionally blackmailing you into staying with him out of pity. Break up with him and block him.

Reply 4

MaseratiJay

12

As bad as it sounds ....you said he'd probably kill himself...now that is very unfortunate and that's an understatement but you can't be holding on to someone you don't want to be with because of that one thing.

You can't be in the relationship based on the fact he may injure himself at the thought of not being with you, if he's mentally unwell then there are services to help him and I'm sure he has family and friends?

This whole relationship and your boyfriend and his mum are either:
- Crazy
or...
The mum realises you are probably the best thing that ever has and will happen to him and refuses to let him and you break up..

At the end of the day if it will bring you too much pain you can even text him and tell him or ring him and say I'm sorry but this is final.

If you keep going back on your word or 'taking breaks' he'll just keep cryign his eyes out and doing whatever emotional manipulative thing he can to get you to stay.

Tell him by phone/text/email/letter straight up it's over. Don't go back on it. if you feel your safety is at risk call the police - no it's not dramatic or 'oh he's my boyfriend I couldn't do that...better to be safe than sorry if you feel threatened because it won't take much for someone who has motive to carry out what they need to carry out

All the best OP :smile:

Reply 5

hilrho

15

@RoshniXRoss

Did you create this thread? That sounds like you - "threatening to come down to my house to see me in the middle of the night if we break up, and if I don't let him in he'll sleep on the streets" and of course "if I break up with him he's probably going to kill himself" .

Reply 6

Underscore__

21

Original post by physicst

If you love him and it seems he also love you, then what is the problem. You can sort it out by talking to him. I said this because it is very difficult to find true love in this selfish world. I know you don't want to hear this.

Are you mental? This sounds like typical signs of someone who is possessive and controlling. Dump him and move on

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 7

RoshniXRoss

Original post by hilrho

@RoshniXRoss

Did you create this thread? That sounds like you - "threatening to come down to my house to see me in the middle of the night if we break up, and if I don't let him in he'll sleep on the streets" and of course "if I break up with him he's probably going to kill himself" .

That's what you wanted, someone who was never going to let you go.

Reply 8

hilrho

15

Original post by RoshniXRoss

That's what you wanted, someone who was never going to let you go.

Wait so you're the OP?

Reply 9

hilrho

15

Original post by RoshniXRoss

That's what you wanted, someone who was never going to let you go.

Oi respond. Did you post this????

Reply 10

hilrho

15

Original post by RoshniXRoss

That's what you wanted, someone who was never going to let you go.

Did you create this thread?????

Reply 11

RoshniXRoss

No I didn't create this

Reply 12

kek6969

20

don't get involved with a ****ing weirdo next time, you obviously don't really like him and he sounds like a ****, break up with him, if he cuts himself too bad

Reply 13

Danz123

13

Lol you say you love him but you obviously don't reading your post OP. You don't think very highly of your boyfriend either, saying he was crying 'like a whale' when you wanted to break up.

Nevertheless he is possessive and controlling, those manipulative tactics are probably empty threats. Just call his bluff, break up and hang up the phone. Be firm about it.

Reply 14

physicst

16

Original post by Underscore__

Are you mental? This sounds like typical signs of someone who is possessive and controlling. Dump him and move on

Posted from TSR Mobile

Yes I am.

Reply 15

VotreAltesse

2

Original post by Anonymous

I've been dating a guy for 1 year and 8 months but I've reached a point where I want to move on. I love my boyfriend but I think he's over obsessive, very annoying, too dependent on me and unfortunately that's not what I want. He lives in a different city so I go down there every weekend but in getting sick of it AND I'm getting bored. He had a bit of autism, ADHD. I've known him to cut himself before. Unfortunately he's so attached to me that last time I tried to break up with him, it was like talking to a whale on the phone. I was saying "I'm breaking up with you" and he was refusing to let me go. He threatened to come down to my house to see me in the middle of the night if we break up, and if I don't let him in he'll sleep on the streets. I had to settle with 'taking a break'. He doesn't understand, he's calling me every single night. I'm afraid that if I break up with him he's probably going to kill himself. He says he won't go to college anymore if I go because he's doing it for me and our future. I feel stuck and trapped in a love I don't want to be in anymore. He even got him mother involved to make sure we don't break up! What do I do??