Socialising as a mature student
I am due to go to university next year. I will be in my early 30's. I am male but very socialable and look/act young. Only a few years ago I was a rep in portugal so know how to interact with people well.
My main question is that is is awkward for someone more mature to socialise in university. Is it frowned upon or look weird if I was social too (i.e going to the odd party or night out) even though most of my peers will be alot younger?
Whats it like. Can anyone let me know give advice please.
Thankyou !
My main question is that is is awkward for someone more mature to socialise in university. Is it frowned upon or look weird if I was social too (i.e going to the odd party or night out) even though most of my peers will be alot younger?
Whats it like. Can anyone let me know give advice please.
Thankyou !
I'm 30, female, and I'm also starting next week.
I don't look my age and have never had problems 'blending in', and even so, I don't think anyone would really care.
We're all going there to learn and to, hopefully, enjoy the experience. For many it is a once in a lifetime thing - a rite of passage haha.
If you were sixty or something, then yeah, that might be a bit unusual. But there's nothing strange about someone in their twenties or thirties enjoying the usual nightlife. It's perfectly ordinary.
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I don't look my age and have never had problems 'blending in', and even so, I don't think anyone would really care.
We're all going there to learn and to, hopefully, enjoy the experience. For many it is a once in a lifetime thing - a rite of passage haha.
If you were sixty or something, then yeah, that might be a bit unusual. But there's nothing strange about someone in their twenties or thirties enjoying the usual nightlife. It's perfectly ordinary.
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Would be interesting to hear from both sides on this (those who "blended in" and those who didn't attempt to).
I'm looking at it from a different perspective; I've long since had my fill of going out and getting wasted on a regular basis, so I've got no interest in doing that again (apart from maybe on the odd occasion). I'm not consciously trying to distance myself from the younger students and I hope to get on well with them, but I'm not going to throw myself into things I don't want to do just to "fit in" with them.
I'm looking at it from a different perspective; I've long since had my fill of going out and getting wasted on a regular basis, so I've got no interest in doing that again (apart from maybe on the odd occasion). I'm not consciously trying to distance myself from the younger students and I hope to get on well with them, but I'm not going to throw myself into things I don't want to do just to "fit in" with them.
I am 28, and I just finished a foundation year at Leeds University, I stayed in the halls with the other students during the year.
I did the whole freshers week, and didn't have any trouble fitting in for the most part.
The whole freshers scene was a bit too young for me though, but I am not into the clubbing scene in general.
I am about to start first year of my ungraduate degree at Manchester this month. I am going to be just as sociable, but give the clubbing a miss this time around.
I did the whole freshers week, and didn't have any trouble fitting in for the most part.
The whole freshers scene was a bit too young for me though, but I am not into the clubbing scene in general.
I am about to start first year of my ungraduate degree at Manchester this month. I am going to be just as sociable, but give the clubbing a miss this time around.
Nobody knows how old you are unless you tell them! It's definitely not weird at all to go drinking with the 'youngsters' either, you're all just undergraduates.
the problem with being your age is that you give a **** what people think. i'm 44 and i just do whatever the **** i want
OP, you are not that much older than the average student so there is nothing for you worry about., party at will!
Like a previous person I am much older, 40 years old to be precise. My party days are done! I have children that awaken with the first bird call, school and nursery runs and housework to do. I am sure that I will socialise with other students via lecture group work, fitness sessions and maybe the odd very rare social event. But overall I will be socialising with my husband and external family and friends and will have my head down studying at university. I have not considered whether that makes me an oddity as it does not concern me.
Like a previous person I am much older, 40 years old to be precise. My party days are done! I have children that awaken with the first bird call, school and nursery runs and housework to do. I am sure that I will socialise with other students via lecture group work, fitness sessions and maybe the odd very rare social event. But overall I will be socialising with my husband and external family and friends and will have my head down studying at university. I have not considered whether that makes me an oddity as it does not concern me.
Original post by andiewithanie
the problem with being your age is that you give a **** what people think.
Yeah, fair point.
i just do whatever the **** i want
Is that a general life policy?
Trivial aside: in years past, this slightly nutty character used to ride around the small town where I currently live on his bike, singing the "I feel like Chicken Tonight!" refrain from the tv ad as he went by 
. But that's not the best part - I heard from a friend that he once declared: "God told me one night: Jack, you do whatever you like!" I'm unsure whether the "divine immunity" defense holds up in court 
When I was 19 I worked in a place where most of the staff were 18-21, the managers and other supervisory staff were a fair bit older, one of them was early 30's and he always came out on nights out and things like that with us, he was a really nice bloke, and we didn't mind him at all, but still we did think it was a bit weird that he'd always come out with us - but then in that environment where most of your colleagues are a good 10+ years younger than you, I guess he didn't have too many options.
The situation is going to be similar for a lot of us at uni, I'll be 30 and I'm sure I will make friends with younger people, but I've no desire to be that guy. I'll be staying in halls, but with mature students. I can't really see myself making proper friendships with those straight out of A-Levels, as young at heart and as immature as I can be, our sensibilities and outlooks on life are just too different, and yeah that is a sweeping judgement before I've even met anyone, but I think I'd rather prefer to socialise with people a bit closer to my own age.
But each to their own, if you want to experience all the parties and what not OP, then go for it, noone's going to really question you for it, but there will be a lot of people your age as well, most unis have mature student societies etc.
tl;dr probably not best to have your social circle consisting entirely of 18 year olds, but noone is going to blink an eye at you for going to parties etc.
The situation is going to be similar for a lot of us at uni, I'll be 30 and I'm sure I will make friends with younger people, but I've no desire to be that guy. I'll be staying in halls, but with mature students. I can't really see myself making proper friendships with those straight out of A-Levels, as young at heart and as immature as I can be, our sensibilities and outlooks on life are just too different, and yeah that is a sweeping judgement before I've even met anyone, but I think I'd rather prefer to socialise with people a bit closer to my own age.
But each to their own, if you want to experience all the parties and what not OP, then go for it, noone's going to really question you for it, but there will be a lot of people your age as well, most unis have mature student societies etc.
tl;dr probably not best to have your social circle consisting entirely of 18 year olds, but noone is going to blink an eye at you for going to parties etc.
Original post by jimmy_looks_2ice
Yeah, fair point.
Is that a general life policy? Trivial aside: in years past, this slightly nutty character used to ride around the small town where I currently live on his bike, singing the "I feel like Chicken Tonight!" refrain from the tv ad as he went by . But that's not the best part - I heard from a friend that he once declared: "God told me one night: Jack, you do whatever you like!" I'm unsure whether the "divine immunity" defense holds up in court
Is that a general life policy?
Trivial aside: in years past, this slightly nutty character used to ride around the small town where I currently live on his bike, singing the "I feel like Chicken Tonight!" refrain from the tv ad as he went by . But that's not the best part - I heard from a friend that he once declared: "God told me one night: Jack, you do whatever you like!" I'm unsure whether the "divine immunity" defense holds up in court better to be some handflapping lunatic on a bike than let them medicate you into submission
“ Each human being has been endowed with a self of his or her own different from all others, so that it could all the more surely be made the same. But because that self never quite fitted the mould, enlightenment throughout the liberalistic period has always sympathized with social coercion. The unity of the manipulated collective consists in the negation of each individual and the scorn poured on the type of society which can make people into individuals.” Dialectic of Enlightenment
Original post by andiewithanie
better to be some handflapping lunatic on a bike than let them medicate you into submission
“ Each human being has been endowed with a self of his or her own different from all others, so that it could all the more surely be made the same. But because that self never quite fitted the mould, enlightenment throughout the liberalistic period has always sympathized with social coercion. The unity of the manipulated collective consists in the negation of each individual and the scorn poured on the type of society which can make people into individuals.” Dialectic of Enlightenment
“ Each human being has been endowed with a self of his or her own different from all others, so that it could all the more surely be made the same. But because that self never quite fitted the mould, enlightenment throughout the liberalistic period has always sympathized with social coercion. The unity of the manipulated collective consists in the negation of each individual and the scorn poured on the type of society which can make people into individuals.” Dialectic of Enlightenment
Tbh, I go around singing while I'm riding my bike too, so I can't really laugh at the old fella.
I recall the quote on the back of The Holy Bible album by The Manic Street Preachers, which deals with a similar theme: "It is that permanent contradiction between your ideas and desires and all the dead formalities and vain pretenses of your civilization which makes you sad, troubled and unbalanced."
Original post by magnitudezero
The situation is going to be similar for a lot of us at uni, I'll be 30 and I'm sure I will make friends with younger people, but I've no desire to be that guy. I'll be staying in halls, but with mature students. I can't really see myself making proper friendships with those straight out of A-Levels, as young at heart and as immature as I can be, our sensibilities and outlooks on life are just too different, and yeah that is a sweeping judgement before I've even met anyone, but I think I'd rather prefer to socialise with people a bit closer to my own age.
I often socialised with older folks (10 or even 20 years older then me) when I was working. However, the dynamic at university, as a thirty-something student surrounded by a lot of teenagers, will be very different, I'd imagine.
This issue is coming to a head for me as it's my Fresher's Week next week. I'm sure it'll be fine; I'll do the events related to my School and will check out the clubs & societies of interest at the Fresher's Fair, but a lot of the much-hyped generic events (e.g. Foam Party) are of no interest to me. I'm up for going out in the evening with a few folks if it's related to a particular interest or the mature student's society or whatever, but these "flagship" evening events (centred on random craziness & drinking, and aiming to bring in big numbers), I'd rather pass on.
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