The Student Room Group

Why isn't porn seen as cheating?

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Original post by EllainKahlo
Different rules for different couples but I can guess most people wouldn't be happy with that unless they've spoken about it previously or are in an open relationship, nor would I. If I were in a relationship right now, I'd let my partner know these things in advance so that they know the deal and can either agree or bounce.


I agree but I really don't think watching porn is a big deal. But what I meant by asking about camming with the porn star (people do this, like live requests to the cammie during an internet show or privately if subbed to the website-don't ask me how I know). If you're camming with the porn star, it's like interactive porn but still porn. But as you're interacting, then it could be cheating...lol it's all very tricky.

Original post by Hydeman
Hmm. Poor choice of words on my part. It's webcam sex. :tongue:

Phone sex was the nearest established form of sex I could think of.


It's cybering which is cam sex or using sexting or text roleplaying during IM :teehee:
Of course it isn't cheating and I don't need permission from my partner to masturbate or watch porn. How absurd.
Original post by Anonymous
maybe he watches feminist porn?


Lmao. I wonder what that would entail.
Original post by Anonymous
maybe he watches feminist porn?


Maybe he ain't watching women at all....
Original post by Cherie Amour
I agree but I really don't think watching porn is a big deal. But what I meant by asking about camming with the porn star (people do this, like live requests to the cammie during an internet show or privately if subbed to the website-don't ask me how I know). If you're camming with the porn star, it's like interactive porn but still porn. But as you're interacting, then it could be cheating...lol it's all very tricky.



It's cybering which is cam sex or using sexting or text roleplaying during IM :teehee:


It is very tricky indeed and I never thought about that. I'm not keen on the idea but I'd still allow it as long as my partner wasn't spending all of their free time dedicated to cam shows or was paying for their tips etc. Then I'd have an issue with it and I'd either tell them or leave them.
Original post by EllainKahlo
Because you're not engaged in a relationship with the pornstar(s) you're watching, you're just watching them have sex or masturbate. With internet dating etc. you are.


What about phone in sex lines?
Original post by EllainKahlo
It is very tricky indeed and I never thought about that. I'm not keen on the idea but I'd still allow it as long as my partner wasn't spending all of their free time dedicated to cam shows or was paying for their tips etc. Then I'd have an issue with it and I'd either tell them or leave them.


If he went so far as to watch interactive porn, yea, I'd have an issue but it's basically like going to a strip club :s-smilie: So would you take issue with strip clubs? I still haven't thought about this. I feel like men will be men but if I ask for respect then grant it to me. That being said I wouldn't ban him from strip clubs or porn, I might engage in it with him but if he's all addicted or lying like saying he was at the office but really at the champagne room with Porscha there will be hell to pay.
Original post by Dazzzzzla
What about phone in sex lines?


Lol people still do that? Men are so weird with how they get off. I saw this clip where a man called into a dispatch operator just for impromptu phone sex.
Original post by Dazzzzzla
What about phone in sex lines?


Everyone is different but I personally wouldn't be okay with that.
Original post by Cherie Amour
Lol people still do that? Men are so weird with how they get off. I saw this clip where a man called into a dispatch operator just for impromptu phone sex.


Well the channels are still in operation and there are always in newspapers. So I presume they do. Wow, that is so messed up. It is like when you hear stories that men have sex with their cars, or women have sex with horses. Which is a whole different story.
Original post by EllainKahlo
Everyone is different but I personally wouldn't be okay with that.


I'm in agreeance with you.

I think porn is like a fantasy world where men and women can watch their fetishes. If there is any interaction (phone, webcam, stip club) between the two, then thats where the line crosses.

What about dancing in a club? Say grinding etc? Or even something more innocent?
Original post by Dazzzzzla
Well the channels are still in operation and there are always in newspapers. So I presume they do. Wow, that is so messed up. It is like when you hear stories that men have sex with their cars, or women have sex with horses. Which is a whole different story.


Yea it's...actually nothing like that :K: lol
Original post by Cherie Amour
If he went so far as to watch interactive porn, yea, I'd have an issue but it's basically like going to a strip club :s-smilie: So would you take issue with strip clubs? I still haven't thought about this. I feel like men will be men but if I ask for respect then grant it to me. That being said I wouldn't ban him from strip clubs or porn, I might engage in it with him but if he's all addicted or lying like saying he was at the office but really at the champagne room with Porscha there will be hell to pay.


Hahaha agreed. It's all about honesty for me. I'd lay down rules in the beginning and expect them to do the same with me so there's no issue of miscommunication. If they know I'm not approving of something and they do it behind my back, I'm leaving them immediately since they have no excuses.

If my partner wanted me to go to a strip club with them, I would. If they wanted to go with their friends and I trusted him, then I'd allow it but I wouldn't encourage it. If they wanted to go by themselves, that's weird and a definite no. If I'm here, why the hell do you need to go to a strip club? :s-smilie: The only thing I'm perfectly okay with when we're not right next to each other, is them watching porn, probably because there's no interaction in that. Anything that has interaction is going to probably upset me.
Original post by Dazzzzzla
I'm in agreeance with you.

I think porn is like a fantasy world where men and women can watch their fetishes. If there is any interaction (phone, webcam, stip club) between the two, then thats where the line crosses.

What about dancing in a club? Say grinding etc? Or even something more innocent?


No, I think that's where we cross into territory where I'm not happy. If I'm not available, they don't have to ask my permission to watch porn but when it comes to touching, talking or interacting with another person sexually or romantically I'm not happy and I'd probably leave them.

The same goes for me, I wouldn't expect my partner to be happy with me touching other men or letting other men touch me so I don't want that happening to them either.
Original post by EllainKahlo
Hahaha agreed. It's all about honesty for me. I'd lay down rules in the beginning and expect them to do the same with me so there's no issue of miscommunication. If they know I'm not approving of something and they do it behind my back, I'm leaving them immediately since they have no excuses.

If my partner wanted me to go to a strip club with them, I would. If they wanted to go with their friends and I trusted him, then I'd allow it but I wouldn't encourage it. If they wanted to go by themselves, that's weird and a definite no. If I'm here, why the hell do you need to go to a strip club? :s-smilie: The only thing I'm perfectly okay with when we're not right next to each other, is them watching porn, probably because there's no interaction in that. Anything that has interaction is going to probably upset me.


I see, that's reasonable :tongue:
However when we're not right next to each other, god knows. This is what truly makes me wary about getting into a relationship. The fear of not knowing what he's up to when I'm away. As long as it's not interactive I agree, there's really not much to be fussed about, however I would be freaked if he has a whole bunch of weird fetishes that he runs to. He should be able to tell me what he's into. Not have secrets and ****.
Original post by Cherie Amour
Lol people still do that? Men are so weird with how they get off. I saw this clip where a man called into a dispatch operator just for impromptu phone sex.


Not into phone sex myself, let alone paying for it. Cybering is much more my kinda thing :biggrin:
Original post by WoodyMKC
Not into phone sex myself, let alone paying for it. Cybering is much more my kinda thing :biggrin:


Lol would you do phone sex then if it were a free service? :tongue:
Cybering is what I mostly did when I was a teenager but sexting all the way for me if I like him enough :mmm:
Of course in person intimacy is winner.
Original post by EllainKahlo
Hahaha agreed. It's all about honesty for me. I'd lay down rules in the beginning and expect them to do the same with me so there's no issue of miscommunication. If they know I'm not approving of something and they do it behind my back, I'm leaving them immediately since they have no excuses.

If my partner wanted me to go to a strip club with them, I would. If they wanted to go with their friends and I trusted him, then I'd allow it but I wouldn't encourage it. If they wanted to go by themselves, that's weird and a definite no. If I'm here, why the hell do you need to go to a strip club? :s-smilie: The only thing I'm perfectly okay with when we're not right next to each other, is them watching porn, probably because there's no interaction in that. Anything that has interaction is going to probably upset me.


That is fair.

That's what it all comes down to. "Why do you need to do it when I am here?" Why do men/women have to watch porn/strip club/webcam when they have their partner?

Porn to me is all good - if you're not together, as you said. What if they follow their favourite porn stars on insta or twitter - how would that make you feel?
Original post by EllainKahlo
No, I think that's where we cross into territory where I'm not happy. If I'm not available, they don't have to ask my permission to watch porn but when it comes to touching, talking or interacting with another person sexually or romantically I'm not happy and I'd probably leave them.

The same goes for me, I wouldn't expect my partner to be happy with me touching other men or letting other men touch me so I don't want that happening to them either.



I agree, once again.

Here is another one to chuck out there - how about arranging/or going out with one of their exs (in a group) whilst you weren't around?

Edit: Say on a night out? Where alcohol seems to help people disregard relationships and have some sort of excuse.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by DiddyDec
Thought police?


Huh?

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