I see, that's reasonable However when we're not right next to each other, god knows. This is what truly makes me wary about getting into a relationship. The fear of not knowing what he's up to when I'm away. As long as it's not interactive I agree, there's really not much to be fussed about, however I would be freaked if he has a whole bunch of weird fetishes that he runs to. He should be able to tell me what he's into. Not have secrets and ****.
Very true. I know myself better than anybody and I'd never cheat on somebody and hurt them like that, I'd rather tell them things aren't working out. But I can't say that other people are the same as me or would see cheating as big as a betrayal as I do. I'm the kind of person that would stay friends with an ex but never speak to them again if the reason we broke up was because they cheated on me.
If I have to be open and honest in a relationship (which I would) about my fetishes, my feelings, my past etc. then I expect nothing to be kept from me equally or it's just not going to last.
If my best friend had done porn, then I guess that's his prerogative. But we both know that's not what you're talking about, so it's a silly thing to bring up. Similarly, visualising is entirely different.
Why's it a silly thing to bring up?
Point is, for most people there is a line. Most of us agree that sleeping with another person is definitely not okay, and most of us agree that masturbating over someone who may not be our partner is okay. The line between 'okay' and 'not okay' is somewhere in the middle, and I don't think it's at all obvious that porn is (or should be) inside the 'okay' region for everyone.
For me it boils down to... If porn is an issue for someone in a relationship then they ought to give themselves a shake- it's just porn.
"It's just porn" is precisely what I thought when I stopped watching porn. My fiancée doesn't like it, so why not just stop? It's just porn.
Lol would you do phone sex then if it were a free service? Cybering is what I mostly did when I was a teenager but sexting all the way for me if I like him enough Of course in person intimacy is winner.
Nah, as I said, not into it really. Yeah, cybering, sexting, all the same to me, good fun When I get into it though all I really wanna do is get hold of the girl I'm talking to and bang their brains out
That's what it all comes down to. "Why do you need to do it when I am here?" Why do men/women have to watch porn/strip club/webcam when they have their partner?
Porn to me is all good - if you're not together, as you said. What if they follow their favourite porn stars on insta or twitter - how would that make you feel?
Here is another one to chuck out there - how about arranging/or going out with one of their exs (in a group) whilst you weren't around?
Edit: Say on a night out? Where alcohol seems to help people disregard relationships and have some sort of excuse.
Well, as I've said, all couples are different so their rules and what constitutes as too far is different for each of them. I can respect that some people aren't comfortable having a partner who watches porn at all, but I personally think it is ridiculous because if I'm not around or I'm busy, I'm hardly about to tell my partner they can't experience any pleasure without me. As long as it's over porn and not over another person, it's fine.
Now if I found out they were following their fave pornstar on twitter or something, I guess I'd just want them to be open about their reasons. Pornstars are people too, so if they're following them because they just so happen to upload really funny things or they make interesting comments/observations etc. then cool. I'd do it too. But if they're following them because they're hoping they can chat one-on-one or meet-up, that's entirely different and the same as cheating with any other, non-pornstar.
Again, if I trust them and they just so happen to still be friends with their ex, that's fine. I think I'd have to question myself, and why I'm still with them if I couldn't trust them to simply talk to their ex even around others, even around alcohol. Now if I find out they've cheated on me in that instance, then I was wrong to trust them and I'll just have to deal with that. But hopefully that will never happen to me.
Nah, as I said, not into it really. Yeah, cybering, sexting, all the same to me, good fun When I get into it though all I really wanna do is get hold of the girl I'm talking to and bang their brains out
You suggested that visualising people could akin to watching porn.
That wasn't my intention. As I mentioned in an above post, my aim was to illustrate that there are grey areas. Overall, I don't think it's at all obvious that watching porn is something that should automatically be seen as okay in a relationship.