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What do I do now? My ex is dating my sister

My ex is now dating my sister and i don't know how to deal with the memories i get every time i see him. My sister has no idea of our past and i don't really want her to but i can't go on seeing the guy who broke my heart everyday without breaking down soon.
How am i supposed to deal with this?? I need help!!

Reply 1

william walker

What do you want to do? Also when ever you see him you need to change how you are thinking about. Right now you are think "oh no I can't bare this seeing him". What you need to do is change this to "this is one less time of have to see him". It stops the whole thing from being terrible and it sort of becomes a positive when you see him from then on.

This is what I did when I was getting bullied at school. At first I couldn't handle it and was dreading it so much that I couldn't talk and went into a depression. However overtime I started to realise that I only do to deal with it for about 16 months so started think it is one less day that I have to do. One less time someone says something to me and I feel like rubbish or the other thing. So I accepted it and was able to deal with it.

Reply 2

zyzzyspirit

Original post by william walker

This is what I did when I was getting bullied at school. At first I couldn't handle it and was dreading it so much that I couldn't talk and went into a depression.

Poor William.

Reply 3

bumblebee342

Original post by Anonymous

You have to tell her or they could just carry on the way they are now.

That would drive me insane...

Reply 4

william walker

Original post by zyzzyspirit

Poor William.

Indeed. I started pulling hair out with stress, started getting migraines and have psychotic thoughts. It took me 5 years to move on from it and accept what I have now become because of it.

Reply 5

william walker

Original post by bumblebee342

You have to tell her or they could just carry on the way they are now.

That would drive me insane...

It could also causes problems with her sister thought. It would need to be handled carefully. :s-smilie:

Reply 6

zyzzyspirit

Original post by william walker

Indeed. I started pulling hair out with stress, started getting migraines and have psychotic thoughts. It took me 5 years to move on from it and accept what I have now become because of it.

Wouldn't it be easier to just beat up your bullies? I wouldn't want someone to ruin my life like that and get away with it.

Reply 7

stochasticking

Original post by zyzzyspirit

Wouldn't it be easier to just beat up your bullies? I wouldn't want someone to ruin my life like that and get away with it.

That's what zyzz would do :h:

Reply 8

Sweet n Sour

Original post by william walker

Indeed. I started pulling hair out with stress, started getting migraines and have psychotic thoughts. It took me 5 years to move on from it and accept what I have now become because of it.

Are you bald?

Reply 9

bumblebee342

Original post by william walker

It could also causes problems with her sister thought. It would need to be handled carefully. :s-smilie:

Well yeah but he could treat her sister the same way. And why would anyone want to see their sister and their ex together. I'd be telling her even if it caused problems :lol:

Reply 10

Sweet n Sour

Original post by Anonymous

This caught my eye in Latest Discussions, well done.

If your sister has no idea yet they still ended up in the same room together, with you there to find out about it, and then they ended up in a relationship together (which screams "small town problems" to me where everyone knows each other)...I can't say it was all that much of a relationship. Surely someone would know unless you and your sister don't live together. But if you had told your sister for starters. Now you just have to go on about it torturing yourself saying nothing or you can be like me and not give a **** and ask him right there "how can you do this?!"

Reply 11

dancing sloth

Are you sure you can't tell your sister?
I would tell her sooner rather than later, in case it comes out later (as it probably will).
There might be a row at first :catfight:

, but better over and done with. :hugs:

Is this guy going out with her to get at you?
In which case it's really nasty for her, and she needs to know big time.

Not good situation for anyone (except him I guess). :cry:

Reply 12

TheTipsyTarsier

You need to address this asap. It will get messier the longer you leave it. How will your sister feel if they stay together for a good while and then she finds out some other way? What if he's drunk one night and slips up and mentions it. You will both seem like the bad guys to her. There are so many ways it could go wrong and hurt all of you. Do you really want your sister in a relationship with a guy who dated her sister and never told her? What about him? Is he just assuming you'll keep quiet? Would not be ok with that. Best of luck.

Reply 13

ImagineCats

Original post by zyzzyspirit

Wouldn't it be easier to just beat up your bullies? I wouldn't want someone to ruin my life like that and get away with it.

No, because bullies are unfortunately clever and would know how to trip you up and get you into trouble if you're violent towards them (I tried, idk how a tie in flames whilst on the bully in chemistry was worth a Saturday but meh he didn't even get into sixth form LOL)

The best way is to break them mentally and ruin everything they love and work hard for- gone great so far :smile: