Christians on TSR: Advice please?

Original post by Anonymous

Hi,
I'm a Christian who believes in no sex before marriage. My beliefs and life decision in this isnt popular amongst my peers, with many of them making nasty comments such as calling me "frigid" and putting pressure on me. Its also very unpopular with guys; my ex cheated on me and was horrible to me because i woukd not sleep with him.

I am beginning to feel lonely and like I wont find anyone accepting of my beliefs. So i wondered, if you are a Christian on TSR, how highly do you regard your virginity? Is my belief an old fashioned Christian belief that doesnt fit society? What should I do generally? Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks x

I'm a Christian - Orthodox by theology, Anglican by necessity.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with having sex outside of marriage, provided it's done between people who have the requisite feelings. There isn't any direct scriptural basis for the notion that sex outside of marriage is wrong (except adultery, which is sex outside of a marriage of which either you or the other party are part); all other references to sex outside marriage are specifically to prostitution.

Basically, if you feel the time is right for you and your partner, and you aren't making it into something furtive and corrupt, it isn't wrong.

Also, there isn't anything 'old-fashioned' about not having sex. People have been doing it for millennia - they just didn't talk about it as openly as we do now.

Reply 102

Original post by Anonymous

Cherry82, you're coming across very holier than thou at the moment. Please tone it down a peg, you're making us Christians seem so condescending..

Holier than thou???
What does that even mean?
Please quote me in the near future so I can understand. I do not see how what I have said is wrong.
Actually, now thinking about your comment- I think I know who this is, your use of words and writing style is quite similar to someone else on here...I could be completely wrong. Any way, I do not like where this thread is going to. I mean how could a Christian tell another Christian they are coming off too holy? It does not make sense. As some religious riddles may say 'the devil is a liar' LOL :rofl3:

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 103

bekinwari

9

Original post by Anonymous

Cherry82, you're coming across very holier than thou at the moment. Please tone it down a peg, you're making us Christians seem so condescending..

She isn't being holier than thou by stating we should live our lives like Christ.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 104

Original post by bekinwari

She isn't being holier than thou by stating we should live our lives like Christ.

Thank you so much sis <3
Also many thanks for following me, I really appreciate it. I will most definitely follow you back xx

Reply 105

troubadour.

19

Original post by Cherry82

To XcitingStuart, I know this may sound all preachy and I know you may not believe in all I have stated but even with the things the bible says about homosexuality, I really do believe God loves you. And because he loves you just as he loves everyone else, for Tyler to speak to you so degradingly as if you're not even a human being shocks me, especially because this person identifies themselves as a Christian.

Interesting choice of words, but then it would be quite a feat for you to use 'is Christian' instead, because obviously any Christian whose behaviour you disagree with is a fake one.

Also, his name isn't actually Tyler. :tongue:

Tyler Clementi was a gay teenager who committed suicide a few years back after being subjected to homophobic bullying and humiliation by his roommate - the fact that this user has appropriated his name should tell you something about him.

Reply 106

04MR17

Volunteer Section Leader

22

Original post by Hydeman

I'd say it's one or the other in this instance.

Not true.

Original post by Hydeman

Your use of the anonymous function says something about how much water you think your argument really holds.

No, it shows how Christians are afraid of being abused for their religion, like Muslims are doing a the moment.

Reply 107

troubadour.

19

Original post by 04MR17

No, it shows how Christians are afraid of being abused for their religion, like Muslims are doing a the moment.

Yes, I'm aware that Christians, in particular, exist in a two-speed system where they're either persecutor or persecuted. For all those English speakers out there, substitute 'being abused for their religion' with 'having their ideas challenged in an accountable manner.'

It's very telling that you think it's okay to patronise with things like 'don't let sex control you' from behind the anonymous function and see any criticism of that as 'abuse.'

Back under your rock with you, silly boy (or girl or something else)...

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 108

randdom

I am sorry that you have found yourself in this situation OP.

Choosing not to have sex before you got married is going to be something that you have put a lot of thought into and that you have come to the decision to do because you feel that it is the right thing for you to do. Real friends shouldn't criticise or belittle your choices and someone who really loves you shouldn't cheat on your.

Yes the decision not to have sex before you get married is one that goes against a lot of what is being thrown at you by our current culture and it isn't a typical decision. However that doesn't mean that it isn't the right decision for you. Is there anyone at your church that you can talk to about the difficulties that you are having in confidence. Someone who has gone through the same things that you are going through and who can support you through it. It might be helpful to talk to other people who have made the same choice as you but are a few years older.

I am not going to say that dating will necessarily be easy but it is possible. I would suggest being upfront with anyone that you do start dating as that way you both know where you stand. Please remember that any man who would cheat on you because you won't sleep with him isn't worth crying over (a genuine guy who realised that a relationship without sex is not something that he can cope with would end the relationship not cheat on you).

I know many of my friends who did not have sex with their not husbands/wives before getting married and I have many other friends who are currently single or dating and not sexually active. If that is what you want to do then please stick to it because no one worth it should force you to change what you believe in.

Reply 109

Original post by Hydeman

Interesting choice of words, but then it would be quite a feat for you to use 'is Christian' instead, because obviously any Christian whose behaviour you disagree with is a fake one.

Also, his name isn't actually Tyler. :tongue:

Tyler Clementi was a gay teenager who committed suicide a few years back after being subjected to homophobic bullying and humiliation by his roommate - the fact that this user has appropriated his name should tell you something about him.

Well as you can see- I am done debating with you.
If you have nothing else better to say or do, then please avoid saying anything at all to me because I have moved on.
Even with me, I 'identify' myself as a Christian. With any one who calls themselves a Christian but does 'Un-Christlike' deeds and things, they should be questioned. And that goes for any religion, not just Christianity. I just find it very intriguing that you are so particular about how I address other Christians and how you are so interested in that area...
Overall, I am trying to move away from debating and move more towards giving advice to other fellow Christians since this was and is the purpose of this thread.

Oh my gosh, how insensitive and inhuman could someone be? :frown:

See these are the things I am against! I really hope he is not trying to make mockery about the situation?
What is going on here?!

Reply 110

Rorschach II

Original post by Cherry82

Well as you can see- I am done debating with you.
If you have nothing else better to say or do, then please avoid saying anything at all to me because I have moved on.
Even with me, I 'identify' myself as a Christian. With any one who calls themselves a Christian but does 'Un-Christlike' deeds and things, they should be questioned. And that goes for any religion, not just Christianity. I just find it very intriguing that you are so particular about how I address other Christians and how you are so interested in that area...
Overall, I am trying to move away from debating and move more towards giving advice to other fellow Christians since this was and is the purpose of this thread.

Oh my gosh, how insensitive and inhuman could someone be? :frown:

See these are the things I am against! I really hope he is not trying to make mockery about the situation?
What is going on here?!

He [TylerClementi] goes across threads, slandering gay people, and in his previous (now banned) account, called SpringBreaker, he was telling me to go "un-invite myself from existence, like Tyler Clementi (a gay teen who committed suicide presumably because his roommate leaked a video of him kissing another man)." Due to his style of posting, and the reoccurring theme of Tyler Clementi, I realised the user TylerClementi was the banned user SpringBreaker, and probably chose that name [TylerClementi] to take the piss, because that was probably partially why his old account was banned.

Just because I took apart an argument of his on his previous account, we had an ensuing discussion, with him writing essays of insults. I quoted some of them a while back.

When he asked why would gay people want to get married, if it's religious, I gave reasons, perfectly valid reasons, and he just insulted me back.

As soon as I realised his choice in username, I was disgusted by him, and i showed some of the disgust in my posts.

Unfortunately our conflict has taken a hold in this thread.

edit: P.S. I did insult him back on multiple occasions, but no where near to the extent he given insults to me.

Posted from TSR Mobile

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 111

troubadour.

19

Original post by Cherry82

Well as you can see- I am done debating with you.
If you have nothing else better to say or do, then please avoid saying anything at all to me because I have moved on.
Even with me, I 'identify' myself as a Christian. With any one who calls themselves a Christian but does 'Un-Christlike' deeds and things, they should be questioned. And that goes for any religion, not just Christianity. I just find it very intriguing that you are so particular about how I address other Christians and how you are so interested in that area...
Overall, I am trying to move away from debating and move more towards giving advice to other fellow Christians since this was and is the purpose of this thread.

Oh my gosh, how insensitive and inhuman could someone be? :frown:

See these are the things I am against! I really hope he is not trying to make mockery about the situation?
What is going on here?!

One tip, though: if you're going to say 'I'm done debating with you' at the start of a post, don't then go on to throw out a bunch of bait for debate. It looks very desperate in that it looks like you're trying to have the last laugh or take the last shot.

And, no, I'm not very interested in how you address other Christians. I just made an observation that you refuse to even recognise that they are Christian because they do something that you disagree with.

This is what I call the John Lennox fallacy: avoid having to face up to the faults of your religion by descending into a slouch and going on in a long, droning speech about how 'the Christianity of my parents' is the real Christianity and, therefore, the others are just fakers whose behaviour can't come from their religion.

It's a silly double standard that if a Christian does something good, it's because he's following Jesus's example and loving his neighbour. But if he does something bad, it's because he's not really Christian. Well, I hope you learned something - I certainly didn't.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 112

Original post by XcitingStuart

He [TylerClementi] goes across threads, slandering gay people, and in his previous (now banned) account, called SpringBreaker, he was telling me to go "un-invite myself from existence, like Tyler Clementi (a gay teen who committed suicide presumably because his roommate leaked a video of him kissing another man)." Due to his style of posting, and the reoccurring theme of Tyler Clementi, I realised the user TylerClementi was the banned user SpringBreaker, and probably chose that name [TylerClementi] to take the piss, because that was probably partially why his old account was banned.

Just because I took apart an argument of his on his previous account, we had an ensuing discussion, with him writing essays of insults. I quoted some of them a while back.

When he asked why would gay people want to get married, if it's religious, I gave reasons, perfectly valid reasons, and he just insulted me back.

As soon as I realised his choice in username, I was disgusted by him, and i showed some of the disgust in my posts.

Unfortunately our conflict has taken a hold in this thread.

edit: P.S. I did insult him back on multiple occasions, but no where near to the extent he given insults to me.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Oh no

I am so sorry about this all. I feel bad about the guy who committed suicide too, poor guy. This is not how we as Christians should approach situations such as this. What happened to following Jesus and his footsteps. I am not saying you have to agree but my goodness, be compassionate and understanding to other people.
Like I was saying before, XcitingStuart you... no one deserves this kind of treatment! I think users such as this should be reported as soon as possible.
I love Christians, especially the Christian community on TSR but I cannot tolerate or be in favour of acts projected by hatred. Fair enough he does not agree but this is taking it way too far. Ah, I do not support this kind of behaviour at all and I am sure other Christians here would agree too. I am truly sorry.

Reply 113

Rorschach II

Original post by Cherry82

Oh no

I am so sorry about this all. I feel bad about the guy who committed suicide too, poor guy. This is not how we as Christians should approach situations such as this. What happened to following Jesus and his footsteps. I am not saying you have to agree but my goodness, be compassionate and understanding to other people.
Like I was saying before, XcitingStuart you... no one deserves this kind of treatment! I think users such as this should be reported as soon as possible.
I love Christians, especially the Christian community on TSR but I cannot tolerate or be in favour of acts projected by hatred. Fair enough he does not agree but this is taking it way too far. Ah, I do not support this kind of behaviour at all and I am sure other Christians here would agree too. I am truly sorry.

Thank you, a lot, but it's not your fault, nor do you have to apologise on anyone else's behalf. :smile:

But thanks again for your sincerity.

Reply 114

The_Lonely_Goatherd

Original post by Cherry82

Oh no

I am so sorry about this all. I feel bad about the guy who committed suicide too, poor guy. This is not how we as Christians should approach situations such as this. What happened to following Jesus and his footsteps. I am not saying you have to agree but my goodness, be compassionate and understanding to other people.
Like I was saying before, XcitingStuart you... no one deserves this kind of treatment! I think users such as this should be reported as soon as possible.
I love Christians, especially the Christian community on TSR but I cannot tolerate or be in favour of acts projected by hatred. Fair enough he does not agree but this is taking it way too far. Ah, I do not support this kind of behaviour at all and I am sure other Christians here would agree too. I am truly sorry.

Totally agree with you. Just wanted to say, I did report at least one of those posts and I presume other people here too have reported. Have heard nothing from CT yet :s-smilie:

Reply 115

Original post by Hydeman

One tip, though: if you're going to say 'I'm done debating with you' at the start of a post, don't then go on to throw out a bunch of bait for debate. It looks very desperate in that it looks like you're trying to have the last laugh or take the last shot.

And, no, I'm not very interested in how you address other Christians. I just made an observation that you refuse to even recognise that they are Christian because they do something that you disagree with.

This is what I call the John Lennox fallacy: avoid having to face up to the faults of your religion by descending into a slouch and going on in a long, droning speech about how 'the Christianity of my parents' is the real Christianity and, therefore, the others are just fakers whose behaviour can't come from their religion.

It's a silly double standard that if a Christian does something good, it's because he's following Jesus's example and loving his neighbour. But if he does something bad, it's because he's not really Christian. Well, I hope you learned something - I certainly didn't.

Wait, is it not amusing that out of no where, you magically showed up again thinking you could make another 'insightful' point? I mean really? After I had responded to your previous response, I received no reply back and judging from your last post before that, thought you where somehow gone since you quoted 'good day' as your final but dramatic response :colondollar:

Jokes aside, I am seriously done speaking with you on this issue and I wish you an awesome week. As this conversation we are currently having is now pointless and drifts off what is truly important, I think it is time for me to take imitative and try to end it. Overall, I am glad that I had stated my points, it was annoying lol but I would have to admit, also compelling speaking with you. Now, trying to focus on why I am here in the first place- does any one know how the OP is doing? I was a bit worried as there was no response back from her. Also I really hope the user TylerClementi is being investigated by TSR mods.

Reply 116

Original post by XcitingStuart

Thank you, a lot, but it's not your fault, nor do you have to apologise on anyone else's behalf. :smile:

But thanks again for your sincerity.

My pleasure. Though we had and still do have our differences in terms of beliefs- I have nothing but care for you and for the other members on TSR. It is definitely ok for people to disagree but it is not ok to degrade others. I know but to sit around and watch this happen, I would be equally responsible if I did not say anything or do anything.

Reply 117