This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Guy called me 'ugly' and 'fat' and verbally abused me

Scroll to see replies

you don't need a man's approval huni, it looks as if you were comfortable in your own skin before he said those harsh words. He only got angry because you pulled him off your friend... you did the right thing, don't beat yourself up about it :biggrin:

and size 12 isn't fat xx

Goriyeh do you know that Samina means Moti in Arabic?

Reply 21

samina_ay

Original post by PPF

Goriyeh do you know that Samina means Moti in Arabic?

SHUT UP

Reply 22

PPF

Original post by samina_ay

shut up

LOOL. Take it easy on the Laddoos.

Reply 23

BBaggins

She never said it was wrong, she said that she felt 'insulted'.
Nothing wrong either in calling someone ( say the class dunce) ' stupid', but you don't do it, do you?

And, anonymous, I think you need to develop thick skin. He called u fat and ugly and look how depressed you are.

This is just the first alley in the neighborhood we call life. People can call you 'bitch' , 'w***e, c**K s****er, etc. And trust me, the more you get upset, the more you will be called names. Just don't show that they hurt you-stay cool. What you did was to puncture his ego, so he turned into a sadist. You know better than me whether you r fat or not, but even if u r fat, so what? I like fat girls.Many other guys like them. There's more of them to love!
The bottom line 's "Life isn't fair, girlie" and the faster you realize this, the better.

Reply 24

samina_ay

Original post by PPF

LOOL. Take it easy on the Laddoos.

You're not even funny.

Reply 25

PPF

Original post by samina_ay

You're not even funny.

Sorry. I wasn't trying to be funny. Just saying that it's weird that people name themselves or their children Moti.

Reply 26

Anonymous #1

Original post by saeed97

Lose some weight then you'd lose the 'fat' tag and will only be referred to as 'ugly'. Progress my friend.

Yeah I don't need further guys being *******s towards me, thanks :frown:

Reply 27

samina_ay

Original post by PPF

Sorry. I wasn't trying to be funny. Just saying that it's weird that people name themselves or their children Moti.

is it wrong to be fat? what's your problem?

Reply 28

Anonymous #1

Original post by CCC75

OP, don't let this fool undermine your self esteem. He was in a rage after his pulling attempt was thwarted and lashed out in full fury.

I would ask though, why are you the guardian of your friends sanctity? Was she drunk and unable to speak up for herself? If you had not intervened, was she game to have this dude in her flat? I think you should only give help where it is required as it sounds as if you came out worst for trying to be helpful.

She was trying to get rid of him but he wasn't listening and kept trying it on with her

Reply 29

PPF

Original post by samina_ay

is it wrong to be fat? what's your problem?

Well that's a debate in itself. All i'm saying is that it's a strange choice of name. Imagine calling yourself Ambala or Jalebi or Patlo or Lambee or Choti, Kaali, Gori etc etc

Reply 30

samina_ay

Original post by PPF

Well that's a debate in itself. All i'm saying is that it's a strange choice of name. Imagine calling yourself Ambala or Jalebi or Patlo or Lambee or Choti, Kaali, Gori etc etc

wouldn't mind being called jalebi tbh, at least everyone will love me then. lmao. piss off

Reply 31

Sparster

Original post by Anonymous

Ok so it started last weekend when me and two of my best friends went clubbing. I have been generally aware that when we go out they get all the attention from the guys (they're thin, exotic looking basically they look like models and they're size 8, I'm a size 12 and much plainer looking in comparison though up until now I wouldn't have said I was 'ugly' :wink:

. As we are about to leave, my friend who is in a relationship is approached by this guy who literally picks her up and swings her around amongst other things and starts talking to her. He follows us out of the club and while my second friend gets a taxi home (she lives further away than we do) i go back with my friend as she's in a relationship and i know she would regret it so much if that guy did anything with her. We are at her flat with the guy who refuses to leave and keeps touching my friend and tries to kiss her while jokingly saying 'I don't think your friend likes me' in relation to me, laughing at me. So i finally pull the guy off my friend shouting 'LOOK SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND GET OFF HER AND ****ING GET LOST!!' Then the guy starts saying stuff to me like 'I don't need to be told by a fat ugly ***ch what to do? Look at you, your friends are both hotter than you while you look like a fat piece of **it no wonder no guy wants you because you're a frigid uptight heffer!' etc and a lot of worse stuff before finally leaving. My friend took me home and I was in tears. Since that night I have felt so crap about myself :frown:

like it drilled into me how every time i go out with my friends boys drool over them and I've seen the same guys look at me and shake their heads. I know I'm pale, plainer looking and a size 12 but I never thought of myself as 'fat' and 'unattractive' until now. Now I feel worthless :frown:

Can anyone help me out? How do i get over this?

You are not worthless, you tried to protect your friend and do what was best for her at your expense. That makes you the perfect friend. The guy was a prick and should never have said such things. You just have to try and forget about what he said, he was a douche and clearly just pissed that you were cockblocking him (which was the right thing to do). Size 12 is fine honestly, everyone's body shape is different and that isn't even that large at all! All I can say is forget what he said and remember that you were selfless in protecting your friend. Not all guy are like that, you will find the one for you one day :smile:

Keep doing what you are doing and be you.

Reply 32

pagorai

Original post by Maggie_O

Tell her to just get inside my zone

Spoiler

i wasnt able to reply to your visitor msg

Honestly she doesn't need anyone to reassure her if she's pretty or not.

Reply 33

PPF

Original post by samina_ay

wouldn't mind being called jalebi tbh, at least everyone will love me then. lmao. piss off

BBCD^2

Reply 34

CCC75

Original post by Anonymous

She was trying to get rid of him but he wasn't listening and kept trying it on with her

When I was your age, that kind of situation called for my friend and I linking arms and walking away, laughing, without another word shared between ourselves and the knob trying to win a losing battle from which he had already politely been disuaded. Try it next time. If your friend wasn't interested in this guy you both should have been out of that club and on your way after your other friend had got her taxi, with the dude wondering where y'all had disappeared to. How on earth he ended up outside your mates flat is beyond my comprehension.

Really, stop thinking about this.

Reply 35

samina_ay

Original post by PPF

BBCD^2

make sense first yeah

Reply 36

okey

Was your friend too drunk to give consent? If so you should have told the guy to leave and taken him away before resorting to going ape ****. If you're friend was in a good enough state to take you home she probably wasn't that drunk- but I wasn't there so...

The real point is that technically, you just assaulted someone out of the blue. It isn't a crime to come onto someone regardless of whether they have a boyfriend or not, even though it's morally questionable. If there was some kind of assault going on on his part then your behaviour would be completely reasonable.

Of course, his behaviour was outrageous. He obviously dug deep with those insults and it's affected enough to seek help on the internet- but this kind of thing is expected to happen if you push someone and yell swears at them. Especially when they haven't explicitly done anything to you.

All people involved could've acted better, but since you can't exactly control how other people act, my advice to you would be to not take insults like this so seriously. People often try to hurt you in a fit of rage- they aren't necessarily sincere. If you do want to lose weight to feel more comfortable around your friends, then let that be your own personal choice that you make without the influence of a stranger. Make sure you're doing it for the right reasons rather than some kind of self hate. If you're asking whether losing weight will help you fit in more with your friends, then assuming they get more male attention than you then yes it probably would.